AARP Online Community and Discussion Forums - Re: 📚 Grief & Loss Books! - Page 2

Anonymous · ‎12-31-2022

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(1) Have YOU read any books that has/is HELPING YOU? 🤔

(2) Check out the books OTHER MEMBERS have mentioned.

Grief & Loss Team 🤎🤗

Winter2024 · ‎10-09-2023

👣 1 Step At A Time!

BillH490171 · ‎10-09-2023

Evening, I'm rereading some of the earlier book. It talked about some tips on introducing your adult children to the idea on dating. One interesting note is that I finding its easier to talk to widows versus divorced women. I guess since we in the same "club", there's more commonality.

Stay safe, Bill

Winter2024 · ‎10-04-2023

Thank you Bill 💙💙💙

BillH490171 · ‎10-04-2023

Good morning to each of you and I hope you're seeing the sun and drinking some coffee. Early on I knew that I did not understand my grief and it's wicked ways so I started reading. I read three books by female authors and then two by male authors. The books by widows were helpful however the books by widowers really helped me.

Those are The Widowers Notebook by Jonathan Santlofer (best one) and When Your Spouse Dies, A Widow and Widower's Handbook by Othniel J. Seiden and Jane Bilett.

I tell folks that reading does not stop the pain or speed up the recovery but it helped me understand the feelings, emotions, the process, what's normal, and even how to move on to dating etc. I've got 4 married kids who currently are struggling with my interest in dating.

Do take a look at a good book, read it a little and if it fits continue. I tossed a couple books that were to factual and directive in providing guidance (like remove spouse from checking account, remove spouse from titles, remove spouse from deed, change your beneficiaries, etc.). Not what I needed during that time.

Last comment from me is to reach out to old friends, girlfriends, boyfriends, and reshape your life.

Take care, Bill

Winter2024 · ‎10-01-2023

👣 1 Step At A Time!

MarcyW882921 · ‎10-02-2023

I recently saw an interview with Arthur C. Brooks talking about the book he co-authored with Oprah Winfrey. The title of the book is Build the Life You Want. I have not read the book, but he spoke about pillars for building happiness that are the core of the book. Although the book is not about loss or grief, it may have something to offer.

As a mourner, your life is changed and there is a need to build a new life around the grief that will forever be a part of you. The question is how do you do it? The pillars that were mentioned in the interview are things that come up repeatedly in books about loss. The pillars he identified were faith, family, friendship and work that serves other people. I have spent my first year incorporating all of these pieces and all of them have been beneficial.

Marcy

MarcyW882921 · ‎10-01-2023

Nicole @Winter2024

A friend of mine suggested a book entitled Journey of Souls by Michael Newton PhD. I have a thing about having to finish a book so I am getting close and will see it through to the end. The beginning of the book seemed ok, but the deeper he got into the case studies of past life regressions, the more tedious the reading became for me. My friend obviously liked the book or she wouldn't have recommended it to me. That's how it is with us humans, we are individuals with our own likes and dislikes.

Marcy

KM547318 · ‎09-15-2023

To the people who have lost a son or daughter:

Back some years back my son and his new wife were in a fatal car accident. I bought so many books! But of all those books which I read there was one that stood out. I gave all my books away to other grievers but I think now I might rebuy my favorite- “When Bad Things Happen to Good People”by Harold Kushner. It really spoke to me when I lost my wonderful adult child.You can of course get it with Amazon.

Maybe it will again with a lost spouse.

Blessings to all,

Kristine

Cadee2719 · ‎09-16-2023

Thank You for your suggestion. I lost my son 6 months before my husband died. I lost my brother one month before my husband died. I am searching for guidance on how to cope with all this loss. I have read Widow to Widow and I have ordered the book you mentioned along with Different After You. I struggle to find "purpose" in my life without all the people that I loved. One wonders how much grief one can handle.

BillH490171 · ‎10-04-2023

Cadee, sorry to hear about your losses. I can only imagine. I was at a grief support mtg this summer and sat next to a neat woman who in a span of 2 years lost her husband, brother, and both sons who were in their 50s. She was talking to me and sharing concern for me. I thought, man if she can get through those losses, I can get through the loss of my wife a couple months earlier. Inspiration is around us all and if we look for it, we see it.

I hope you find the book that brings you peace, Bill

Cadee2719 · ‎10-04-2023

Bill, Thank You for your response. I began reading Bad Things Happen to Good People and saw that I was not able to continue. I am coming up to the one year date of my husband's death and feel very vulnerable right now. I decided to go to the cemetery to order the grave stone for my husband. There is a young man there that has stayed in touch with me to see how I was doing every month since my son and husband's funerals. He spent almost three hours with me and helped me to design and order the grave stone. We chatted about his family and mine and what my future plans are. He went with me to my husband and son's graves to put flowers on them. I found this visit to be comforting and it gave me a sense of "purpose" in my life. As you said "Inspiration is around us all and if we look for it, we will see it." It truly is a blessing for you to reach out to me as you did. Thank You

BillH490171 · ‎10-04-2023

Cadee, you are very welcome, have a great afternoon.

Winter2024 · ‎08-20-2023

👣 1 Step At A Time!

MarcyW882921 · ‎08-21-2023

Nicole @Winter2024 , I read this article in the current month's issue of Brain & Life magazine. It is a very short article and I found the perspectives of this doctor (on grief) following a near death experience to be interesting.

palliative-care-doctor-talks-about-living-with-loss

Marcy

Winter2024 · ‎08-07-2023

👣 1 Step At A Time!

MarcyW882921 · ‎08-11-2023

I noticed that Brain & Life magazine has a couple of articles on grief in the August/September issue. It is a free magazine that you can receive digitally and/or via mail. One of the articles is by Anderson Cooper who talks about the loss of his mother and the podcast that he did as part of his healing process. I haven't listened to it, but the podcast title is All There Is.

Marcy

Anonymous · ‎06-16-2023

(1) Have YOU read any books that has/is HELPING YOU?

(2) Check out the books OTHER MEMBERS have mentioned.

Grief & Loss Team 🤎🤗

MarcyW882921 · ‎07-18-2023

I'm reading Life After Loss Conquering Grief and Finding Hope by Raymond Moody Jr., M.D. and Dianne Arcangel. It is an older book but still very relevant. The book is unique because the authors present male and female perspectives.

BillH490171 · ‎07-18-2023

I'll check it out. I'm reading a book by a man who is a widower at this point. Its called "The Widower's Notebook" a memoir by Jonathan Santlofer. His perspective is different that the other books by female authors. Still so many similarities in the grief process.

Bill

mc6844 · ‎07-22-2023

It's good to hear of help for the widower!

BillH490171 · ‎06-22-2023

I also started reading a good book on grief. Its titled "I was not ready to say goodbye" by Brook Neal and Pamela Blair. It seems pretty complete and is allowing me to help my adult children as well.

Bill

MarcyW882921 · ‎06-16-2023

@Anonymous This week I started reading Different After You Rediscovering Yourself and Healing After Grief and Trauma. I am only a few chapters in, but already I can relate and feel like it is going to be a beneficial read. I don't think the author intends for the book to be consumed all at once, but rather in smaller digestible pieces.

Anonymous · ‎06-16-2023

That is AWESOME dear Marcy @MarcyW882921 💃🥳!!! Luv you my friend, Nicole 🤎🤗

▶️@MarcyW882921 wrote:
@Anonymous This week I started reading Different After You Rediscovering Yourself and Healing After Grief and Trauma. I am only a few chapters in, but already I can relate and feel like it is going to be a beneficial read. I don't think the author intends for the book to be consumed all at once, but rather in smaller digestible pieces.◀️

Anonymous · ‎06-06-2023

📚Books are an awesome source of information and comfort! Grief & Loss Team 🤗🤎

MarcyW882921 · ‎06-06-2023

@Anonymous A friend of mine told me about going to a psychic after his wife passed away. He said it was comforting to him and he gave me the psychic's name and number. I was curious and found this very short book written by the psychic. If your mind is open to this concept, the book is... On Death and Grieving: A Psychic Medium's Perspective.

Anonymous · ‎06-06-2023

(1 comment) Marcy @MarcyW882921 , I am the BIGGEST "scardy" (spelling 🙄) cat!!! 😱😱

But sounds like FUN!

So have you gone or plan to? 🤔

Nicole 🤗🤎

MarcyW882921 · ‎06-06-2023

@Anonymous After reading the book, I went to a relatively small group presentation that he was doing. It was kind of freaky because of some things he knew. I picked up his card, but have not moved on scheduling an individual session. I haven't ruled out doing it in the future.