How can my wife become my paid caregiver

[EricW236758]

Hello everyone,

Just to give a brief recap, about a year and a half ago I was living overseas, when suddenly I had to be repatriated back to the US for emergency reasons.  When I came back to the US, I returned alone, leaving my wife overseas, and I ended up homeless for a few months.  We are both in our sixties.

However, at this point I have my own apartment, and my wife has returned to the rejoin me, and we are now living together once again.  

Due to my disability I'm dependent upon my wife for things such as money management, preparing meals, and navigating the local community. (I easily get lost due to poor sense of direction)

So, I would like to know if it is possible for my wife to become my care giver, since she isn't really able to work, due to the fact that she must take care of me.  I've talked to a few social workers about it, but they just shrug their shoulders without telling me what steps I need to take. 

Also, someone told me that I need to talk to an agency called the Agency on Aging, but I cannot seem to find them anywhere.  

Any advice greatly appreciated. 

[GailL1]

@EricW236758  - Still in California ?

If so - try these:

California Dept of Aging:  Family Caregiver Services

California Dept of Social Services - In-Home Supportive Services

I am not sure that this would be an applicable fit for you (or for your wife). 

Programs like what you are talking about are state specific and are for the benefit of keeping the person out of a nursing home or some very expensive care homes.  

Would you be in a nursing home or some type of care getting home if your wife was not with you?  You did make it for a while without her when you came back to the states.  

So IF California has such a program, I am not sure that the criteria for care would be met.  Do you have perhaps Medicaid nurses or some medical designate coming to check on you and your condition(s) weekly or at some regular schedule?  How close are you to being sent to a nursing home or some place with a high level of care?  

That’s all I got - good luck.

[EricW236758]

I'm actually in North Carolina at the moment, and I just got approved for Medicaid here. Thanks I will see what I can do  with Medicaid. 

[GailL1]

North Carolina Dept of Health & Human Services - Home Care Independence

[EricW236758]

Sorry to be a pest, but I'm a little confused by the response I received from the North Carolina Department of Health and Human Services after I sent them an iquiry about my wife becoming my caregiver.  I"m not sure if they are trying to foist me off onto another agency, and I would like to ask for an informed opinion

So here is the link to the first page, which I recieved here in this forum

https://www.ncdhhs.gov/divisions/aging-and-adult-services/home-care-independence

and here is a link which was emailed back to me by someone after I sent an email to address found at the above page

https://medicaid.ncdhhs.gov/providers/programs-and-services/long-term-care/community-alternatives-pr...

Based upon this information, does it still look like I'm headed on the right path to have my wife become my caregiver?  When I look at the information found within the link emailed back to me, it seems a little bit overwhelming, and I don't seem to understand how to take the first step.  Am I missing something?  There doesn't seem to be a link that says, Apply Here.  

Do I have to make a CAP/DA referral?  Oh boy, I am in over my head. 

[GailL1]

@EricW236758 

They are describing their program to you - like I said in my 1st response to you 

“I am not sure that this would be an applicable fit for you (or for your wife). 

Programs like what you are talking about are state specific and are for the benefit of keeping the person out of a nursing home or some very expensive care homes.  

Would you be in a nursing home or some type of care getting home if your wife was not with you?  You did make it for a while without her when you came back to the states.”  

This program is available in some states under their Medicaid Long Term Care  program - it is specifically designed to pay a little to keep people out of Medicaid LTC nursing home or comparable institutionalize care life which cost a ton of money.  

So it is not that you just have eligibility for Medicaid - it is that you have eligibility for Medicaid Long Term Care - which has other conditions - and eligibility standards.  

It does not sound like you are currently in this specific realm of care.  Are you?

[EricW236758]

I'm actually pretty disabled and I cannot take care of myself. The social workers I've talked to told me that my wife can become my caregiver, but none of them have done anything to point me in the right direction.  I will try. 

[GailL1]

Have you got a Medicaid Case Manager?  

They might be the ones that would evaluate you (and wife) for the program if it is still open.

I believe in North Carolina, this would be the one:

NCDHHS.gov - Community Alternatives Program for Disabled Adults (CAP/DA)

per the link ~ 

The waiver program provides a cost-effective alternative to institutionalization for a Medicaid beneficiary who is medically fragile and at risk for institutionalization if home- and community-bases services approved in the CAP/DA waiver were not available. CAP/DA services allow the beneficiary to remain in or return to a home- and community-based setting by supplementing, rather than replacing, the formal and informal services and supports already available to an approved Medicaid beneficiary.

You can read about the different ways this can work but the one that you seem to be interested in is the Consumer Directed Services - covered further down on the same link page.

It all has to do with your disability and the level of care you need and what alternatives may best meet these needs - the evaluation would determine this and they may suggest other things before it gets to the Consumer Directed Services.

[EricW236758]

Well, my casemanager did say I would probably qualify for homecare, but that was over a month ago, and since then I haven't really heard anything back from them.  

[GailL1]

“Homecare” can be several things - they can bring in specific types of help or bring in a person occasionally or perhaps pay your wife a stipend if she can keep you out of other more expensive care facilities - they decision as to what they do is theirs to make.  They could also decide that the best place for you and your care is in another place like a nursing home.

Your social worker or case worker should have made some kind of an application for [whatever] homecare.  They should be your 1st contact on the program   Ask them if they have made an application for you into this Home and Community Based services (HCBS) program or any alternative.

Maybe try the NC Medicaid Ombudsman organization

if the caseworker does not respond - 

I am sure that it all takes time - it is a government program in big demand.

Just a caution - if you do get approved for hiring your wife as paid a caregiver by funds from this program - it is NOT gonna be a lot of money - how much, I don’t know - but not a lot - maybe not even minimum wage especially considering that she does it 24/7.  

[EricW236758]

Thanks, I just sent them an email. 

[IrishRebelMom]

There is a program paid for by Kansas Medicaid called Self Directed Home Care. Each state is different on how and what it provides for Medicaid. If you are not on Medicaid then locate an agency that is focused on providing Aging and Disability Services. I would contact your states department for aging and disabled services. Again every state has a different name for that department. If you have Medicare or Medicaid or other insurance you can ask them what types of assistance are available and then ask if your wife is able to part of it or compensated for providing the assistance/care. With out knowing which State you are in I am unable to offer any specifics. Be aware that Social Security Administration (SSA.gov),  Medicare.gov and Medicaid.gov have resources you can access online or by calling (long wait times, start early). Hope this helps.

[EricW236758]

Thank you, I will try contacting Medicaid and see what I can get done there.  

[sr61176326 · Accepted solution]

Actually, it should be your wife doing all this inquiry since you are the disabled one and it doesn't have to be 24/7 care. Most of this information can be found online in NC by your wife. Since you are in your 60s, do you get SSD or retirement of any kind? Medicaid is the one who covers this and, of course, you need to be under a doctor's care and he would probably need to say you need this at least part-time to start. It is a process. Then, I believe they send a person from Medicaid to evaluate your situation. Good luck to you.

[EricW236758]

Thank you for the information. I'm sorry for the late reply, but I misplaced my password, and this site is so hard for me to navigate I cannot believe it. Also, my wife and I have gotten so frustrated with this project that we've decided to just give up. It seems that every time we look for help, we encounter another person working at an agency who just wants to list reasons why the cannot help us.  No one can navigate all of these bureaucracies on their own, and then on top of that, no one seems to be holding the people who work at these various social service agencies accountable. Is it really any wonder that there are so many people living in the streets?  Time to face the fact that no one is going to help us.