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Thank you for this insight. I lost my boyfriend of 30 years to a hit and run bicycle accident last July, and have been paralyzed ever since. Same as you, healthy, professional, active inquisitive mind, but this just knocked me down. He was my rock and soulmate. Had plans to travel extensively after I retire this year. Now what?
Nothing I can say can help. I am so sorry. Life gives us horrible situations. Your letter is inspirational. To be able to talk about your pain helps all of us who have very little to complain about. Love, loss, sadness and lonliness. A cycle some of us know better than others.
Timing and luck are everything. I lost my husband in April 2011. Finally listened to my friends and went on Match.com in 2013. I met a man on the site in December 2015. We dated for a couple months, but then I met another fellow who lived much closer to me. I'm embarrassed to admit that I dumped the first guy due to the distance between our homes only to find the second was a problem drinker. While stuck at SeaTac for ten hours, waiting to fly home to ORD in May 2016, I bemoaned the idea that no significant other cared that I was stuck or was waiting for me. A few weeks later, the first guy summoned up his courage to try again and called me. Coincidentally, it was while he was waiting for a flight at FLL. We resumed dating, and I realized what an amazing Renaissance Man he was and is. We were married in January 2018. In July 2018, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. He has been wonderful as we've dealt with surgery and treatment. At age 69, life is great with a great partner!
On 4/29/19, I responded that "timing and luck are everything." At that time, I recognized how fortunate I was to meet and marry my husband, after seven years of being a widow. Much has happened since then--Covid-19, my husband's lay-off a month ago, and then two weeks ago, my husband's sudden fatal cardiac arrest.
Although I am in a current state of shock, sorrow and frustration, I still feel how fortunate I was to have this kind man in my life. He could play anything by ear on the piano, win at basketball or online chess, debate Marxism versus capitalism, and create a party whever he went.
I am so sorry for your loss. I know exactly how you feel having gone through the same thing. You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice. Remember this: you honor the dead by living the best way you can! It won't be easy but just take it one day at a time. Here in Toms River we had a tornado yesterday that scared the life out of me. I am grateful that no damage was done to my house. Being alone can sometimes be scary but we just put one foot in front of the other and keep going. Remember this - you are not alone. You will have good days and bad days but you will survive. Faith makes all things possible, love makes all things easy and hope makes all things work. When you are ready, join some local bowling teams and dance groups. You will meet other people that are going through the same thing. Remember that when you leave this earth, you
can take with you nothing that you have received; only what you have given: a full heart, enriched by honest service, love, sacrifice and courage. Hang in there!
Hang in there. Two relationship coaches gave me good advice. First, be patient and think of this as like a job...you have to get out there and do your best. Also, love yourself to know when to hold and when to fold.
Second, have fun. You'll enjoy this process more. Men are attracted to women who are curious, joyful and fun to be around. I have met some nice men but truly will never be more than friends. Have to keep in mind purpose you are doing...to have friends or find a new partner. Be careful of getting distracted from teaching your real goal for dating.
Best wishes but there are great ones out there. A quote that l reflect on...
"Life is like a Camera. You focus on what's important. Capture the Good Times. Develop from the Negative and if things happen or do not work out Take Another Shot."
Ditto! I'm still in fog wondering who @joefriday14 is making his comments to? Since none have anyone mentioned
I've reread all posts for 2nd time still no clue... don't see any posts regarding replies being made
I also got a personal message asking where I lived when I have post in response to you saying where I live and ect
Strange indeed so letting it go
Enjoy your Sunday!
Ginger : )
I am sorry I did not read where you are from. Maybe it is posted somewhere but it was not where I was looking. It is not an important question, but your response makes it seem I have shown my true colors as a person who fails to read where someone is from and asks them where they are from. Of course this shows I am not worthy of your kindness and I must be scorned.
Dear Bruce T48072:
Wow - I just found this site and read everyone's post. After reading your post I could tell that your feelings were hurt. I don't think that the response was meant to do that. People just say things that hurt us without meaning to hurt us.
From what I've read, most seniors are looking for a way to meet people. I would like to offer you some great suggestions: join a local bowling league, sign up at your local gym, if you live in a senior development - go to all the dances. Women LOVE to dance!!
I am senior citizen 87 years old. I am still working as a secretary two days a week, I bowl twice a week with two different teams, work out at the local gym every other day and take two line dancing classes each week. I meet lots of people at these events - some nice and some not so nice. You won't meet anybody by just staying at home.
Years ago there was an on-line group at Seniornet where we would meet so many people on line, share our email information and they would write about themselves, their families, the good things and the bad things that happened. They started to feel like family to me - they were from all over these United States and, as a matter of fact, I still correspond with many people via email that I met there years ago. Unfortunately, Seniornet has discontinued that function but I have been trying to get them to start it up again. Why don't you email to Seniornet and add your request to the list?
I hope you find what you are looking for. You sound like a nice person - just lonely. Being lonely is something that a senior citizen has to learn to contend with but - what are your choices? When your lifelong mate dies you have to make big admustments in your life. You have a choice: You can sit home and feel sorry for yourself or you can move your muscles and join some of the organizations that I mentioned previously.
I just thought of one more thing. If you live in a senior development - some of them have a widows/widowers group that meet monthly. I joined one of them recently but when I went to my first meeting, the majority of the attendees were all women. See Bruce, they are all out there, just waiting for you to show up. 🙂
No AARP Dating site
From other topics I've read they once tried it but required alot to maintain & took away from the goals AARP had in mind
I've watched this topic for while no posts then today discovered many had posted
Some great suggestions & experiences posted Thanks
I tried online dating 2 men met not good experiences As another posted just don't think its my kinda thing
Have been blessed to make some friends on this community for which I'm grateful
Reckon I need to get more out there cause they are not going come knocking at my door
After decades marriage ended
Because of some circumstances don't desire get married plus in this last 5 years working on myself and living alone 1st time in life I enjoy my time alone and with my family and friends
I would love to have a companion to hang out with Eat and travel & do things together
I hold hope for meeting someone maybe even in this community I've seen winners of Sweeps that live near my location.... Anything is possible as long as open to believing
Good luck everyone & thanks for sharing your thoughts and hopes
Ginger : )
It is impossible to just find someone. . There are too many roadblocks for others to see goodness, kindness and caring. There are so many people hiding in plain site. Until they decide to become visible, we are lost at sea waiting for rescue. We have to sing our own songs and act in our own productions. Yes we may sink, but our dignity requires being confident in hearing our own voice.
I live in rural area of town named Youngsville NC just outside of Wake Forest NC & Raleigh NC
For over 25+ years lived outside of small town Spring Hope NC
I came from Mississippi 33+ years ago
Nice to meet y'all
Ginger : )
Hi Linda thanks for sharing your beautiful hopeful story
Sorry about the cancer your in my thoughts and prayers May you be blessed with lots of beautiful days and loving people around you always
Been to Chicago many years ago 1978
I love the 3 Chicago TV Shows by Dick Wolf
Been some shows &movies made here in NC My Mom loved Nicholas Sparks & my daughter in law & I have met him twice
Enjoy every moment!
Ginger : )
I have been successful with online dating. I have an extra email account not tied to my name, and an extra cell number (Google Voice). I always meet for coffee first (not a big time commitment). There ha e been an occasional false profile, or a scammer, but they've been quite obvious. Ask questions when reaching out or responding, and look for answers in kind. No answers? Probably not a 'real' profile.
I also always, always respond to every single message to me, whether I'm interested or not.
Cast a wide net, keep an open mind. A good conversation is a win for humanity, whether it leads to a date, or not.
I am 74 and been widowed 2x! My hobbies include reading, working in the garden and greenhouse. I really enjoy being outdoors. I do have a couple health problems I deal with with medication. I would like to find a friend first and see what transpires.
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