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Where do you meet people to date?

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Retired Community Manager

Where do you meet people to date?

Have you tried online dating? Dating agencies? Singles events? If so, what were your results?

 

Do you have a good tip on where you've met someone special? Share it with your story here.

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Trusted Contributor

Meeting a friend takes work because both men and women have to be equally active in beginning a relationship. Past traditions and fear of taking risks usually make most women wait for a man to initiate contact. Keep waiting as both sides need to work together to arrange any first meeting.

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Any place and every place. Smile, have a card with your name and email address or phone number. Figure out activities you like and look there. Do not be shy or afraid to talk. If you are not interested in someone, tell them you have a partner.
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Bronze Conversationalist

IMO, handing out a card with my name, email address, and phone number (other than a business card for business purposes) to total strangers is really NOT a wise move that I would suggest to anyone...be they female or even male...especially in this day and age.  I guess you aren't familiar with stories of people who give out too much information about themselves to total strangers and how some have ended up?

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Internet dating is a waste of time. It can help with communication skills, but do not expect others to follow through. Meet people in person.

 

 

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The most proactive and healthy way to meet people is to smile at them and say hello. People are all over and the first step is to begin a conversation. You will know if there is more to talk about Almost by magic, if there is a connection, both of you will find a way to meet up again. 

 

 

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We all go off the deep in in describing our quest for love, friendship and fun. People should just be open and honest. Sex is not the issue but it helps to tone it down by briefly talking about it or engaging in holding hands and even smiling at the other person. There really is no reason there is so much lonliness and bitterness.  People have barriers that preclude basic friendship and sharing.

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Periodic Contributor

I've been reading alot of these letters. I know it isn't easy to meet someone, with all the scammers on the onli e dating sites. But I'm a hopeless romantic and refuse to believe I or anyone can't find their soulmate. Sometimes it just takes time. Like someone said you just need to get out and mingle with people. Whether at a senior ctr or a gym. You have to keep believing it will happen. As the old saying goes, good things take time. Sincerely hopeless romantic...

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Regular Contributor

I met my Significant Other, after my husband died at the age of 74, at a Tai Chi class that I had been in for a number of years when he wandered in to take the class.

Just goes to show, you can meet good guys anywhere even when you are just doing something healthy!

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Contributor

my age prevents me from finding anyone there are no social activities near me and I won’t do on line

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Social Butterfly

Me again

On this community site You can put your Bio in your profile

Which I did & I check others info to find out their name by clicking on community ID 

So far I've not come across any others that posted their Bio but do find their names to get to know others. 

Also its nice that you can send private messages through this community have chatted with some folks there plus can chat with Community Helpers also. 

Have a beautiful week! 

Ginger : ) 

 

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Regular Contributor

I've been single for three years now after a decades long marriage.  While I did try out several online dating sites, unfortunately, I wasn't impressed with the results I was getting with any of them.  With every new site, I would change my profile, thinking that my profile was attracting the wrong kind of prospects.  I would also put the time, energy and effort in to make the meet and greets as pleasant as possible.  After several different sites, over a two year period, I realized that the whole online thing just didn't appeal to me (and never did). 

 

I'm an active, energetic, healthy, passionate, intelligent, independent, professional woman who has spent most of her adult life in long term relationships with people who shared a similar mindset and lifestyle.  In the past three years, I've discovered that most of the best dates I that I've had, and most certainly the men who I dated for any length of time (several months), were people I met through someone I already knew.

 

I have found that attending professional and community functions and events is a great way to not only meet people who work in the same industry as me but to also meet people who live in my neighborhood (I live in a downtown, urban area).  Another way I have met so many really nice people is through MeetUps.  I now belong to several MeetUp groups and I just love all the different types of groups and events that are available - people who enjoy doing the same things that I do.  

 

Below is a list of the different ways I have met some really great people, some of who I ended up having some really great dates with:

 

Professional Events Committees

Community Groups & Events

Bowling League

Hiking MeetUps (I belong to several)

Cycling MeetUp

Single Professional MeetUps (so many to choose from)

 

I think one of the biggest issues that I had with online dating sites is that they are just so passive and really kind of lame and lazy.  If you're looking for someone to develop a "meaningful connection" with, that takes time, energy, effort and space and if you're not willing to put in the time, energy, effort and make the space in your life, then the results you end up with will reflect that. 

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Good for you. Does it matter if you are outreageous or creative in how you express yourself? The dating system is toxic as it makes both people sad and fearful.  Be your different self. It takes more than just finding another single person. It takes your hopes and dreams with a smile.

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Social Butterfly

@joefriday14 

Hi Bruce

Thought I'd read all posts here

Question? Who are you replying /writing / posting to? 

Thanks Have a beautiful day! 

Ginger  : ) 

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People are everywhere in front and behind you. They want to get to know you. Will it be love,lust or another let down?  Only through enthusiasm,humor and kindness do we ever connect.  Slowness in connecting always ends relationships before the first hello.

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Regular Contributor

Thank you for this insight. I lost my boyfriend of 30 years to a hit and run bicycle accident last July, and have been paralyzed ever since. Same as you, healthy, professional, active inquisitive mind, but this just knocked me down. He was my rock and soulmate. Had plans to travel extensively after I retire this year.  Now what?

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Nothing I can say can help. I am so sorry. Life gives us horrible situations.  Your letter is inspirational. To be able to talk about your pain helps all of us who have very little to complain about. Love, loss, sadness and lonliness. A cycle some of us know better than others.

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Periodic Contributor

Timing and luck are everything. I lost my husband in April 2011. Finally listened to my friends and went on Match.com in 2013. I met a man on the site in December 2015. We dated for a couple months, but then I met another fellow who lived much closer to me. I'm embarrassed to admit that I dumped the first guy due to the distance between our homes only to find the second was a problem drinker. While stuck at SeaTac for ten hours, waiting to fly home to ORD in May 2016, I bemoaned the idea that no significant other cared that I was stuck or was waiting for me. A few weeks later, the first guy summoned up his courage to try again and called me. Coincidentally, it was while he was waiting for a flight at FLL. We resumed dating, and I realized what an amazing Renaissance Man he was and is. We were married in January 2018. In July 2018, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. He has been wonderful as we've dealt with surgery and treatment. At age 69, life is great with a great partner!

 

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Periodic Contributor

On 4/29/19, I responded that "timing and luck are everything." At that time, I recognized how fortunate I was to meet and marry my husband, after seven years of being a widow. Much has happened since then--Covid-19, my husband's lay-off a month ago, and then two weeks ago, my husband's sudden fatal cardiac arrest.

Although I am in a current state of shock, sorrow and frustration, I still feel how fortunate I was to have this  kind man in my life. He could play anything by ear on the piano, win at basketball or online chess, debate Marxism versus capitalism, and create a party whever he went. So much for attempting to rotate...So much for attempting to rotate...

 

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Regular Contributor

I am so sorry for your loss.  I know exactly how you feel having gone through the same thing.  You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice.  Remember this:  you honor the dead by living the best way you can!  It won't be easy but just take it one day at a time.  Here in Toms River we had a tornado yesterday that scared the life out of me.  I am grateful that no damage was done to my house.  Being alone can sometimes be scary but we just put one foot in front of the other and keep going.  Remember this - you are not alone.  You will have good days and bad days but you will survive.    Faith makes all things possible, love makes all things easy and hope makes all things work.  When you are ready, join some local bowling teams and dance groups.  You will meet other people that are going through the same thing.  Remember that when you leave this earth, you

can take with you nothing that you have received; only what you have given:  a full heart, enriched by honest service, love, sacrifice and courage.  Hang in there!

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Periodic Contributor

Thank for your kind thoughts. I realize there are no short cuts through this grieving process. Will honor my John the best ways I know how with volunteering and taking care of those around me currently quarantining. 

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Regular Contributor

dandee76, thank you VERY much for your inspiring, insightful, response. If not for the COVID-19 shelter in place orders, I was preparing to move and start anew. It's on a temporary hold, but I am stronger and will persevere to gain love and happiness again.
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Contributor

Hang in there.  Two relationship coaches gave me good advice.  First, be patient and think of this as like a job...you have to get out there and do your best. Also, love yourself to know when to hold and when to fold.

 

Second, have fun.  You'll enjoy this process more. Men are attracted to women who are curious, joyful and fun to be around.  I have met some nice men but truly will never be more than friends.  Have to keep in mind purpose you are doing...to have friends or find a new partner.  Be careful of getting distracted from teaching your real goal for dating.

 

Best wishes but there are great ones out there.  A quote that l reflect on...

"Life is like a Camera. You focus on what's important. Capture the Good Times. Develop from the Negative and if things happen or do not work out Take Another Shot."

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Regular Contributor

What a great story lindag237909 (not the cancer, of course).  I like to read stories like yours.  Proof that there are still those of us (the senior community) that are still finding their "happy endings".

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Periodic Contributor

Thank you! Definitely happy endings abound. --Linda
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Periodic Contributor

I have no idea who's talking to me or who I'm talking to!!!

 

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Social Butterfly

@sophias603738 

Morning Sophie 

Ditto!  I'm still in fog wondering who @joefriday14  is making his comments to? Since none have anyone mentioned

I've reread all posts for 2nd time still no clue... don't see any posts regarding replies being made 

I also got a personal message asking where I lived when I have post in response to you saying where I live and ect

Strange indeed so letting it go

Enjoy your Sunday! 

Ginger : )

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Trusted Contributor

I am sorry I did not read where you are from. Maybe it is posted somewhere but it was not where I was looking. It is not an important question, but your response makes it seem I have shown my true colors as a person who fails to read where someone is from and asks them where they are from. Of course this shows I am not worthy of your kindness and I must be scorned.

 

 

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Regular Contributor

Dear Bruce T48072:

 

Wow - I just found this site and read everyone's post.  After reading your post I could tell that your feelings were hurt.  I don't think that the response was meant to do that.  People just say things that hurt us without meaning to hurt us.

 

From what I've read, most seniors are looking for a way to meet people.  I would like to offer you some great suggestions:  join a local bowling league, sign up at your local gym, if you live in a senior development - go to all the dances.  Women LOVE to dance!!

 

I am senior citizen 87 years old.  I am still working as a secretary two days a week, I bowl twice a week with two different teams, work out at the local gym every other day and take two line dancing classes each week.  I meet lots of people at these events - some nice and some not so nice.  You won't meet anybody by just staying at home.

 

Years ago there was an on-line group at Seniornet where we would meet so many people on line, share our email information and they would write about themselves, their families, the good things and the bad things that happened.  They started to feel like family to me - they were from all over these United States and, as a matter of fact, I still correspond with many people via email that I met there years ago.  Unfortunately, Seniornet has discontinued that function but I have been trying to get them to start it up again.  Why don't you email to Seniornet and add your request to the list?

 

I hope you find what you are looking for.  You sound like a nice person - just lonely.  Being lonely is something that a senior citizen has to learn to contend with but - what are your choices?  When your lifelong mate dies you have to make big admustments in your life.  You have a choice:  You can sit home and feel sorry for yourself or you can move your muscles and join some of the organizations that I mentioned previously.

 

I just thought of one more thing.  If you live in a senior development - some of them have a widows/widowers group that meet monthly.  I joined one of them recently but when I went to my first meeting, the majority of the attendees were all women.  See Bruce, they are all out there, just waiting for you to show up.  🙂

 

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Trusted Contributor

Good for you. Thanks for your time and concern. 

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Regular Contributor

Congratulations!
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