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Valued Social Butterfly
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Re: Seeking opinion on possible family disruption

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Message 11 of 12

I wish I had some great advice for you.  In my experience it seems that any way you go it might cause family problems.  I recently helped out one of my nieces who was having problems.  It wasn't a big financial contribution since I don't have large amounts, but I didn't do the same for my other nieces.  I don't know if any of them learned about it or not, but my sister did and I got a snarky e-mail from her.  It had been her daughter I'd helped.  Perhaps she was upset that she wasn't able to help at that moment.  I don't know.  I haven't heard from my sister since.

 

My advice to you is to follow your heart.

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Seeking opinion on possible family disruption

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Message 12 of 12

    In all my years of being on this website, I never thought I would be looking for advice on a more 'personal' family situation. But, there are some pretty smart posters on these threads.

 

Ok, here is the situation:

 

DW and I are going to start financially gifting nieces and nephews. The gifts will be pretty 'substantial', and we expect to do this gifting a couple times a year. We will distribute evenly, regardless of marital status. We are fortunate in that our nieces and nephews are all 'formally' educated, or in a trade, and have decent jobs.

 

   Except one.

 

He has a job, but he is a substance abuser.  We would like to hold what we would give him in a separate account and see if he matures. He is one of the younger nephews. We think any monies would go to 'partying' at this time. Thing is, everyone likes him, including DW and myself. He comes to family functions, is outgoing. He is not a 'strung out' person by day so he is not shunned in any way. He's functional, but just doesn't know how to handle money and I'm sure some portion of any gifts would go to 'substances'. 

 

I'm really worried that I would cause a family rift. My other siblings aren't really sure on this either. I definitely discussed this with them first.

 

Any opinions?

 

 


"...Why is everyone a victim? Take personal responsibility for your life..."
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