How to Not Lose My Mind from my Foster TEEN

[Caitlin777]

Hi everyone,

My wife and I have a 17 foster teen who is the rudest boy I have ever met. He is slowly trusting us and also regaining faith in adults after being moved around the foster system for 4+ years as well as having a few adoptions fall through.

He never believes what my wife says (often saying "I don't believe you" to just about anything she tells him) and questions her or mocks her constantly. She is becoming extremely depressed/stressed but is determined we help him so he doesn't lose all faith in adults and the thought he can be loved.

How do I handle the hurtful and thoughtless words he throws around, his reluctance to do anything when asked until we ask at least 3 times, his disbelief/stubbornness, and his general misogynistic and homophobic views?

Any help from people who have raised male teens would be greatly appreciated!!!!