There's always more to discover with an AARP membership! Check out your member benefits.

Reply
Info Seeker
0
Kudos
1066
Views

Re: How do you keep your social relationships strong (or find new ones)?

1,066 Views
Message 1 of 12

Since you have a love for animals maybe you could volunteer at a local animal shelter (preferable a no kill shelter if there is such a thing like that in South Philly.) or a food bank. You could also volunteer a nursing homes. There are a lot of people in nursing homes that are there for the duration and are so lonely. Just a thought.

 

Report Inappropriate Content
0
Kudos
1066
Views
Conversationalist
0
Kudos
1765
Views

Re: How do you keep your social relationships strong (or find new ones)?

1,765 Views
Message 2 of 12

Ps:  I can only sympathize about your husband. When mine died in 2004 of cirrhosis of the liver, he was experiencing extreme, sometimes violent hallucinations and severe paranoia a few months before passing. I learned a lot from that experience.

Report Inappropriate Content
0
Kudos
1765
Views
Conversationalist
0
Kudos
1769
Views

Re: How do you keep your social relationships strong (or find new ones)?

1,769 Views
Message 3 of 12

Thank you so much - you are very kind. Not to toot my horn, but I've been knitting & crochetting since I was 4 years old - I am now 75. In this class I am actually "assistant instructor;" while the hostess of the program loudly advertised my "expertise" when I joined the program, to date there are no takers. I can only surmise that the participants find me too intimidating, or some such. I was unwittingly railroaded into that position when I offered to become volunteer of anything in this library. I joined because I thought that the participants will make useful things for babies and/or adults for children's hospitals or other charities. Well, I was wrong because the participants - so far at least - can barely manage to make a chain to measure 10".

 

And no, I am not shy (though an introvert). In the tai chi class I ask many questions or many people, including the instructor. But pretty much all of them are too involved in solving their own "move/pose" problems, and tell me that to answer me is too distracting for them. The instructor helps a little.

 

Thank you so much again.

 

 

 

Report Inappropriate Content
0
Kudos
1769
Views
Frequent Social Butterfly
0
Kudos
1774
Views

Re: How do you keep your social relationships strong (or find new ones)?

1,774 Views
Message 4 of 12
@ditav: sometimes you have to be proactive. Ask someone in the knitting group for help or ask how long they've been knitting; ask someone in the tai chi class for help in doing a particular pose - always with a smile and a 'thank you'. Eventually, you'll meet new people. Or tell the instructor in those classes that you need someone to show you something or other and maybe meet people that way. Otherwise, announce that you're starting a 'chat' group at the local Starbucks after class and see if you can generate interest. Good luck.
Report Inappropriate Content
0
Kudos
1774
Views
Conversationalist
0
Kudos
1778
Views

Re: How do you keep your social relationships strong (or find new ones)?

1,778 Views
Message 5 of 12

Thanks for the ezine info. I will give it a try. I too belong to a knit/crochet class at my local library; unfortunately no one is chatting with anyone; just focussed on learning how to start a crochet chain going and making covers for Kleenex pockets. I also participate in a tai chi class, but here too, no one is interested in getting acquainted other than the perfuctory 'hello' on entering the room.

Report Inappropriate Content
0
Kudos
1778
Views
Frequent Social Butterfly
2
Kudos
1814
Views

Re: How do you keep your social relationships strong (or find new ones)?

1,814 Views
Message 6 of 12

I have several pen pals from the USA and other countries, and we write to each other regularly. I "met" them through an online ezine that has a pen pal forum.   I also attend fun classes at the local library, such as a coloring club and most recently, a crochet class.  This type of class invites socialization rather than just listening to someone speak.  I live in an isolated area with no neighbors, and have a husband who probably has dementia, so socializing in any form is a good escape both mentally and emotionally.  Additionally, contributing to this AARP forum is good because I can express what I feel, and many times I get responses from other likke-minded people.

Report Inappropriate Content
2
Kudos
1814
Views
Info Seeker
1
Kudos
1951
Views

Re: How do you keep your social relationships strong (or find new ones)?

1,951 Views
Message 7 of 12

My friends and I  laugh ourselves silly on unlimited long distance landline with planning trips and vacations we know will never happen...   Dreams and a strong fantasy life work great , long as you remember, it IS a dream!

Report Inappropriate Content
1
Kudos
1951
Views
Info Seeker
1
Kudos
1957
Views

Re: How do you keep your social relationships strong (or find new ones)?

1,957 Views
Message 8 of 12

Thank you for the telephone!!  Also, .I read, and occasionally talk with people online, .if I feel I know them.

Report Inappropriate Content
1
Kudos
1957
Views
Info Seeker
1
Kudos
1981
Views

Re: How do you keep your social relationships strong (or find new ones)?

1,981 Views
Message 9 of 12

I am a 59 year old single woman as the man I was engaged to passed from cancer in 2000 .Since then I have been in relationships but for one reason or another they did not work. I mostly find the way a lot of the men I was with approach the intimacy subject with crudeness and vulgarity. Living in south Philadelphia the choice of men---to me---is extremely limited .Not much here if you are educated and I find them boring. If I say something intelligent I am considered arrogant and show offy. I hung with older people all my life which means I have been to a lot of funerals one as recently as June. There pretty much is nobody left except the few women I do know who still go to bars and that does nothing for me .My opera loving, play going friends are gone. The few still here don't go out a lot .I so want to settle into old age gracefully only I am not old nor do I feel old. I have a big birthday coming in November---60 yay!! That means I am closer to retirement which makes me ecstatic. I have my pups here the joy of my life and I read. I go for walks and I am looking into some volunteering opportunities. I do live in Pennsylvania and would love to help out where needed. As for boredom I garden in summer. Winter is another story altogether .The winters here have been brutal so you settle in with a good book and you talk on the phone with the people that are still alive. Weather makes it nearly impossible to do anything. I went to work this winter wearing 4 pairs of thermals under my 2 pairs of pants. I eventually want to get out of here. There aren't many social relationships left. It's me and my pups. We do okay together. I am getting a trainer as I had a lump removed from my arm and could not walk him for 6 weeks .He has a big yard so no problem there. Seems the time I wasn't walking him he grew stronger and I am a petite woman. I miss walking him so much I am shopping around for the trainer now. Anybody that is lonely or bored needs a dog or two or three .They enrich your life in ways you never expected. 

Report Inappropriate Content
1
Kudos
1981
Views
Conversationalist
9
Kudos
2543
Views

Re: How do you keep your social relationships strong (or find new ones)?

2,543 Views
Message 10 of 12

Okay, for what it’s worth, here it goes.

 

I am a 75-year-old childless widow: 1) Vietnam 1973, 2) cirrhosis of the liver in 2004; I am not a Boomer. I belong to the WWII Silent Generation. In fact I am the last of my family or in-laws to be still here.

 

Oh, yes, I am a nature loving introvert.

 

An ardent walker – 4 miles daily and try to engage with those whom I pass, unfortunately most either jog or bicycle; only a few walk dogs. A knit/crochet enthusiast – both dying arts. An avid reader of history and biography. I have two cats. While I have internet connection I do not participate in any social media as there is no one left to communicate with. Sad to say, people I’ve worked with years ago are no longer among the living.

 

I was obliged to retire so that I could take care of my bed-ridden mother who passed on at 95-1/2. It was a most rewarding experience, however tiring and demanding the 24/7 duties. Until then I worked from home as a transcriptionist (deemed otherwise unemployable at 54) knowing people only by phone or email. I loved the work. Alas, when mother passed, the company no longer existed. So much for that.

 

I enrolled in a tai chi class meeting once weekly and find myself ‘competing’ with 40-somethings for the instructor’s attention. I feel slightly odd in the spandex-clad group. In the local library I became a volunteer assistant to the librarian hosting the knit/crochet meets once a month. Once the hostess (librarian) asked me to bring anything I may be currently working on thinking it might ‘inspire’ some members of the group. I happily obliged but…  

 

My block, and a few adjacent ones, was established for the employees of Lockheed Aircraft Company during WWII, now Bob Hope Airport in Burbank, two miles away. With some 20 single-family homes, all dating to 1940-41, my neighborhood was once a quiet oasis of green, orange blossom-scented calm and charm of a bygone era, when pride of ownership meant everything – within walking distance to major studios – yet impervious to the hustle and bustle of the not too distant downtown Los Angeles and Hollywood just over the hill.

 

I’ve lived here for the past five decades, knew my neighbors by name, which in the current climate of transient SoCal makes me an exception, if not a lame duck. SoCal, particularly the environs of Hollywood, is known for the mostly transient lifestyles. People don’t linger long in pursuit of the greener grass on the ‘other side.’

 

Recently gentrification reared its ugly head on my tiny block rendering single-family homes undesirable. Everyone I knew either died or moved away recently. I now wake to the harsh sounds of power tools used on the encroaching multi-story complexes. I sometimes wonder how I will end up, what will happen to me. I have nowhere to go. So, come what may I am staying put. Perhaps I will become the second ‘famous’ Edith Macefield of Seattle.

 

In conclusion, I am neither lonely nor bored, though on occasion I do feel alone without being depressed. I’ve learned a long time ago to do the best I can with what I’ve got to hand.

 

 

Report Inappropriate Content
9
Kudos
2543
Views