AARP Online Community and Discussion Forums - Gaslighting by your kids?

anddee · ‎12-29-2018

I am a healthy senior, independent and capable, with generally good human and canine relationships. I am of sound of body and mind as far as anyone can tell, yet I have an adult child who is in a perpetual state of "gaslighting" me. "You're losing it!" "That's not what happened, what I said", in addition to the general toxicity, being rude, dismissive, and derogatory.

Has anyone else had to deal with this and if so what has been effective? I'd love a healthy discussion of what works and more importantly, tools and techniques that help remedy the situation if possible.

Thanks!

PattyDiane · ‎01-02-2019

@anddee wrote:
I am a healthy senior, independent and capable, with generally good human and canine relationships. I am of sound of body and mind as far as anyone can tell, yet I have an adult child who is in a perpetual state of "gaslighting" me. "You're losing it!" "That's not what happened, what I said", in addition to the general toxicity, being rude, dismissive, and derogatory.

Has anyone else had to deal with this and if so what has been effective? I'd love a healthy discussion of what works and more importantly, tools and techniques that help remedy the situation if possible.
Thanks!

I just happened to see your post and not certain how much advice I can give. However, there was a time when I was dealing with some gaslighting issues and I know that if the other person does it well and enough, it can really start to make you feel like you are losing it. Mine was with a husband and I solved the problem with a good therapist and a divorce. I realize it's not as easy to divorce a child. I don't know your situation, but in my case there were some under-lying issues that needed some attention in addition to the episodes of gas-lighting. I hope you find a solution to your problem and are able to start the new year in a better place.

retiredtraveler · ‎12-30-2018

"......I am a healthy senior, independent and capable, with generally good human and canine relationships. I am of sound of body and mind as far as anyone can tell....".

DW and I are childless. Can't help with the 'gaslighting'. Just happy you have good 'canine relationships'. They are infinitely easier than humans.

I would tell you to tell the kid that dogs are better than him/her, but that would prompt another round of 'you're losing it'...............

"...Why is everyone a victim? Take personal responsibility for your life..."