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Re: Do you know someone who is isolated?

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@NoreenR157571  Thanks for posting - we have another group you may like called Morning Roll Call - where members are checking in with each other some great virtual friendships are formed here - click here to go there :  https://community.aarp.org/t5/Our-Front-Porch/bd-p/bg31

 

Also - if you type the @ symbol you will see a list of name in the thread pop up and you can reply directly to that person and they will be notified as I have done with this one.

 

Welcome to AARP Community!

AARPTeri
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Re: Alone : Do you know someone who is isolated?

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That would be great!
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Re: Do you know someone who is isolated?

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Just went back and saw your name is Yolanda not Mary sorry about that.
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Re: Do you know someone who is isolated?

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Hi Mary, I feel that way sometimes.  I am always trying to find somewhere to go that have people my age (66).  Still haven't found anywhere.  So I stay on the internet most of the day.  Time flys and before I know it it is dark outside.  Blew the whole day being on here.  So I am tired of looking at the screen all day and not getting to met people. Thank you for your post now I see I am not the only one who feels isolated.  Email me if you want to talk.  How young are you, around my age?

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Re: Do you know someone who is isolated?

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Are there any meetup groups in your area? I have experienced the same thing, where friends make plans, and then cancel them, or are too busy with their families, etc., so I have joined a few meetup groups, and have found that when an activity is planned through a group, the plans usually don't get cancelled, and You meet others that enjoy some of the same things that you enjoy doing as well.

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Re: Do you know someone who is isolated?

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@r154734p wrote:

Ever since my dad's Dementia has increased people who use to ask my folks out for game night, and a society my dad belongs to no longer contacts him for events or even offers to drive him to their once a month meetings - since my dad should not drive at night anymore. I think he may be depressed because he naps a lot during the day, and has no real friends to talk to. My mom has found no good resources to help her in dealing with my dad's dementia, and neither of them is very computer suave.


That's so sad and so darned common.

 

Has your mom considered  a day care for adults? Some of them allow a person to come as little as one day a week, and a good one will find a way to engage him. You can also do your mom a favor and go to www.eldercare.gov and type in their zip code. You'll get the name of the agency that serves their community specifically for people 60 plus. Then YOU call the agency and find out what's offered. Then you can call her and tell her, and give her the phone number to follow up. 

 

Do they belong to a church or faith community? Your mom could speak up about a need for visitors. My dad was in a nursing home for years, and a fellow korean war veteran would come and sit with him once a month and they'd watch Patton, my dad's favorite movie. Is your dad a veteran? Sometimes the VA have an outreach program.

 

Any of this helpful? Write more? 

Jane

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Re: Do you know someone who is isolated?

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@mturner56 wrote:

I have become very isolated over the last 10 years. It started with a chronic illness that took several years to come to grips with and then moving to a new city. I am being encouraged to get out and do something to meet people, but it's not easy. I have difficulty making commitments due to the uncertainty of how I will feel on any given day. Although I live with my husband of 40 years, we basically have separate lives. If anyone has any ideas, I would love to hear them. Thanks.


Hi M Turner 56,

I'm sorry you have a chronic illness. I have one, too, and so does my partner. It sounds like yours leaves you wiped out and you can't predict when. Which makes it very hard to plan. Goodness. I have a couple of ideas, and they're based on what i've tried since i moved across the country 2 years ago. Somethings i tried and they worked; others not so much.

 

I found out that there are a number of volunteer organizations that serve the very rural area i moved to, and i started attending. One meets monthly: it supports the community with funds for a variety of things, and has a set calendar of events to rise money each year. I can't make all the meetings which works out fine. After almost 2 years, i volunteered to resurrect the rummage sale which hadn't been attempted in years. Fortunately a handful of other women joined me and did most of the work.

 

Are you in an area with a library system? Another options is to become a 'Friend of the ____ Library'. Low key, not a lot of work and you'll meet thoughtful people who love books. 

 

In any of these options, you can show up, or not, take on a project, or not. And you'll meet folks who are mostly older, empty nesters, and retired. 

 

Is there anything you really love to do? Knit? Quilt? I mention those two because i love to knit and my partner quilts. I haven't had much luck finding a knitting group, and i'll have to start one, but there are several quilting groups, and 2 quilt shops in the county. If you don't know how, you can learn. Last time i was visiting Chicago, i looked up the local knit shop, and spent way too much money on yarn i didn't need. Then i joined the knitting group that happened to be meeting that night, and chatted with 2 nice knitters, a crocheter, and an old duff who was working on an amazing cable knit sweater. 

 

Facebook has been a great way to meet folks, too, at least in small towns. There's a group called "For Sale in Paisley" and it isn't just about selling. We're in fire season and there are questions about smoke, about stray dogs... I've met a couple of women that way and we take walks together: so low key that we cancel more often than we walk, but i need the exercise and the cameraderie.

 

Do any of those ideas resonate at all?

 

Share some more about your situation if you like. It's tough have an illness that sometimes feels like it runs your life, and on top of that, being new to an area. But finding a new friend is a great thing, and i bet there's at least one new one out there for you...

 

Write more?

Jane

 


 

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Re: Do you know someone who is isolated?

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Ever since my dad's Dementia has increased people who use to ask my folks out for game night, and a society my dad belongs to no longer contacts him for events or even offers to drive him to their once a month meetings - since my dad should not drive at night anymore. I think he may be depressed because he naps a lot during the day, and has no real friends to talk to. My mom has found no good resources to help her in dealing with my dad's dementia, and neither of them is very computer suave.

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Re: Do you know someone who is isolated?

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I have become very isolated over the last 10 years. It started with a chronic illness that took several years to come to grips with and then moving to a new city. I am being encouraged to get out and do something to meet people, but it's not easy. I have difficulty making commitments due to the uncertainty of how I will feel on any given day. Although I live with my husband of 40 years, we basically have separate lives. If anyone has any ideas, I would love to hear them. Thanks.

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Re: Yes : Do you know someone who is isolated?

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Yes, I am not isolated but I am lonely. I work part time during M=F but weekends are lonely. I go to Gilda's club on sat and have lunch after at Nordstrom's but after that i am lonely, This worries me because everything you read says to have a community , exercise and diet. to avoid  alzheimers and physical illness. I have 4 sisters and a brother but they are difficult to get together with., They lives in the suburbs and I live in the City. I have not done some of the things I want to do like exercise more becuase I am tired from work. I like my job.I work 4 hrs in the evening from 4 pm to 830 pm in the emergency room of the hospital doing the computer work to make sure the hospital will ger paid by the insurance companies. It is called utilization.I feel like I have nothing to look forward too. I never married and have no children..  I have a little dog and a cat that are the highlight of my day

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