Do You Forgive and Forget?

[Anonymous]

Hmmm, still working on this. Once someone crosses that line with me, my guard goes up with a promise to NEVER allow them to affect my life in any way. Who knows, this may change one day 🙂

[SIMPLEGAL · Accepted solution]

Angela....I'm with you...but I will give a person just enough rope; Once they reach that point I'm done!  I've had too many disappointments with people and I just can't carry a grudge - it ways me down.  I won't forget but I definitely try to move on.  There are too many good things that outweigh the bad.

[GailL1 · Accepted solution]

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@Anonymous wrote:

Hmmm, still working on this. Once someone crosses that line with me, my guard goes up with a promise to NEVER allow them to affect my life in any way. Who knows, this may change one day 🙂

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Think it is hard to make such a broad statement - what if that other person is your mom or dad, brother / sister or really good friend?  What about forgiveness after the other person is no longer alive.  We still have to do something with those personal feelings - isn't gonna do anything for them at that point.

Forgiveness is only (personally) letting go of those feelings of bitterness and grudges against another.  It doesn't mean we ever have to deal with them again or perhaps we might, who knows.

Mayo Clinic - Adult Health: Forgiveness: Letting go of grudges and bitterness 

Wounds, like these,  can leave you with lasting feelings of anger and bitterness — even vengeance.

But if you don't practice forgiveness, you might be the one who pays most dearly. By embracing forgiveness, you can also embrace peace, hope, gratitude and joy. Consider how forgiveness can lead you down the path of physical, emotional and spiritual well-being.

If I don't let go of all these bad feeling towards another person - resentment, anger, bitterness, being hurt, vengefulness  - then I am the long term suffer and it will take me down and maybe even worse. 

[sh58233857]

forgiving doesn't mean you have to continue to maintain a connection to the offender. you can totally cut them out of your life. no moral or ethical code encourages people to be in a connection with someone who causes them pain or suffering. when i say cut them out of your life i don't mean it in a belligerent way. i mean it in a self caring, self respect and boundary sort of way. i had a veterinarian cause me tremendous pain with his handling of a veterinary situation. i don't think forgiveness is always the best solution. it's ok to be hurt and angry at someone and not put a timeline on it. maybe for the rest of your life you will be hurt and angry by what happened. i think forgiveness in a case like that is a decision not to harass the person. but you can have your hurt and angry feelings.

[Rhymesometimes · Accepted solution]

@Anonymous , Another great question! You're on fire girl!  Forgiving someone is really a gift to yourself.  It doesn't mean that person is released from the punishment or "negative consequences" of their choices. But,  it can release the anger, hurt and all-consuming bitterness that can continue to grow and rule your life if you don't forgive.  Christine

[Anonymous]

Lol @Rhymesometimes in my head I know you are right 🙂 I appreciate you stopping by!!

[GailL1 · Accepted solution]

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@Anonymous wrote:

Hmmm, still working on this. Once someone crosses that line with me, my guard goes up with a promise to NEVER allow them to affect my life in any way. Who knows, this may change one day 🙂

---

Think it is hard to make such a broad statement - what if that other person is your mom or dad, brother / sister or really good friend?  What about forgiveness after the other person is no longer alive.  We still have to do something with those personal feelings - isn't gonna do anything for them at that point.

Forgiveness is only (personally) letting go of those feelings of bitterness and grudges against another.  It doesn't mean we ever have to deal with them again or perhaps we might, who knows.

Mayo Clinic - Adult Health: Forgiveness: Letting go of grudges and bitterness 

Wounds, like these,  can leave you with lasting feelings of anger and bitterness — even vengeance.

But if you don't practice forgiveness, you might be the one who pays most dearly. By embracing forgiveness, you can also embrace peace, hope, gratitude and joy. Consider how forgiveness can lead you down the path of physical, emotional and spiritual well-being.

If I don't let go of all these bad feeling towards another person - resentment, anger, bitterness, being hurt, vengefulness  - then I am the long term suffer and it will take me down and maybe even worse. 

[Rhymesometimes]

@GailL1 , Exactly!  Christine

[Anonymous]

@GailL1 thank you for stopping and I totally respect what you said 🙂

[SIMPLEGAL · Accepted solution]

Angela....I'm with you...but I will give a person just enough rope; Once they reach that point I'm done!  I've had too many disappointments with people and I just can't carry a grudge - it ways me down.  I won't forget but I definitely try to move on.  There are too many good things that outweigh the bad.

[Anonymous]

@SIMPLEGAL I appreciate you stopping by 🙂