AARP DATING SITE

[am94177318]

I have placed my profile on this site to try and meet someone that is compatible with me in my area that maybe I can began a with and see where it goes. The problem is there is a hacker of kind that is pretending to be someone he is not with pictures and profiles that tries to befriend you but it is something in the dialogue that lets you know that it is not quite right. So far I have been able to depict him within the first conservation or so but it has gotten frustrating. His responses are dead give aways. Somehow he lets me know that it is him or a friend. One thing that I have discovered is the are not from the United States. One of the conversations got to the sob story about hard times and I immediately knew that the money question was coming next but I stopped him dead in his tracks before he could board that ship. I have emailed howaboutwe.com because I am very disappointed with the paid membership but have not received a response to date. Can you folks tell me your opinion and experiences with Online dating? Please give me suggestions on how to proceed. I am 56 ( or will be next Friday) but I am ready for a relationship now that all the children are grown and on their own. I am a 2 time divorcee so i don't have patience for nonsense and playing games.

[RichardK1086]

You are so right.Men,including myself are the last generation that remembers how to treat a woman as well as how to speak to a woman.Pushy ,aggressive women are ok with someone who is not so assertive, but myself I prefer if the lady I'm with would allow me to open doors,pull the chair out for her,and address her with ma'am and doesnt mind me saying Thank You and or asking for her advice or opinion befor I do something

You know include her.If she means anything at all include her in all aspects of your life or let her fly and find her happiness elsewhere.

Pushy aggressive women are not any better nor worse then pushy aggressive men.neither likes the other so they should learn to not be so assertive or find someone that needs their aggressiveness. It's just my opinion 

[DrJohn12356]

Richard K

Don't think you are the only gentleman, there are a lot of men who respect women and treat them right.

I see nothing wrong for a woman to be pushy or aggressive, did you ask why.

It is psychology, cats and women have things in common, cats will be very nice when they feel safe and secured and treated right,but aggressive if they have a lack of trust.

So as women, also men with weak personality and depend on women to decide to lead ,she feels she doesn't need him.good luck.

Dr.John

[SharonWood1957]

Agreed! It seems like (some) people nowadays, young and old, are rude and overbearing. It permeates into everyday life. You see it towards the cashier at checkout lines, you see it towards the waitress at restaurants. Don't want to be in a shouting match, or pissing contest. Of course this is not everyone, and those that do not act as such, are the people I would like to meet! Just want to chill, stop to smell the roses, and enjoy life!

[DrJohn12356]

Hi Sharon 

I like your philosophy. 

Dr.John

[AnnNurse]

Hello everyone,

I am new to this site‌😃‌

Just like to say hello to every new friend...

I am Annie, a registered nurse in NYC.  I do not know how to get started. So I “reply” to the top message to see if my posting comes out.  I wonder why there is a choice of ‘reply’ & ‘quick reply’.  If someone wants to tell me how to use this site, I will appreciate. Thank you.

Annie‌🎀‌

[IUhippie71]

Women know that about men, so some women hide their true nature often from a man they might be interested in.:smileyindifferent.

[EveRH]

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@IUhippie71 wrote:

Women know that about men, so some women hide their true nature often from a man they might be interested in.:smileyindifferent.

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@IUhippie71 - I'm not sure what post that's in response to, but it works both ways! Plenty of men add to their height & subtract from their weight, when they describe themselves to women. I remember years ago, a guy telling me he was very involved with politics (which I am) .. then it turned out to just mean that he read political articles in the newspaper!

[Epster]

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@EveRH wrote:

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@IUhippie71 wrote:

Women know that about men, so some women hide their true nature often from a man they might be interested in.:smileyindifferent.

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@IUhippie71 - I'm not sure what post that's in response to, but it works both ways! Plenty of men add to their height & subtract from their weight, when they describe themselves to women. I remember years ago, a guy telling me he was very involved with politics (which I am) .. then it turned out to just mean that he read political articles in the newspaper!

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@EveRH  Too funny! 🙂

Goes to show that involvement is a subjective thing.

[EveRH]

@jean2much - I don't think women who want a good relationship are interested in pushy & aggressive men either!

[2beingme]

AMEN!!! For the record, asking a man out on a date is not pushy and aggressive. I find it really amusing that some people consider when a man asks a woman out it's ok but, when a woman asks a man out it's aggressive and pushy. Seriously??? It's double standards like that one that make dating so difficult for women.

Fortunately, there are still men out there that find confident and secure women appealing and desirable.

[Midgekin]

I understand your quandry completely.  I've been in similar situations and have not had the guts to say anything despite feeling that there is a mutual connection.  I feel like men from my generation are unlikely to want a woman to make the advance but at the same time they don't seem like they want to either.  Probably as hard for a man to risk rejection as it is a woman.  No advice I'm afraid - just commiserating with you.

[Midgekin]

I love the idea of an AARP dating/friendship website.  It would be great to find the next "love of my life" but I would also like to see my circle of friends expand.    

[m933902a]

It is very hard to find a sincere person even on the more reputable sites. Very sad for the honest folks who are mature, stable, and real!!

[yvetteDawn]

hello - im a newbie on AARP . i enjoyed reading your comments . i so agree about dating sites . it does seem most are in a hurry . just thought id add -- the last man i spoke with asked - why im still single . i said  " i know all the games .!! ".   i bet you passed him somewhere .! nobody likes a smart Woman .  be wise be safe and -- yes im still seeking .   YvetteDawn

[md96568432]

There are hackers on every site.  Report them, report them, report them.  They are usually from Nigeria and let you know they are 'temporarily' out of the United States and, gosh, they suddenly run short of funds to return.

Or, they had to leave the country for a short time on a serious business venture - that eventually falls through and, lo and behold, they used all their money hoping to make the big score - so, lady, can you spare a dime or a few thousand dimes or dollars?

They hijack a real person's profile.  One way to see through them is that the one they hijack normally has quite good English.  They, however, do not.  When they answer you, they have broken sentences, no clue what some terms they use mean, tend to call you Sweetheart, Darling, Honey, because they really don't care about learning your name.  You are nothing more than the next target.

I have tried six different sites and all of them abound with these gangsters.  I report them ASAP, but they can be gone from the site within seconds and immediately hijack another profile.  So be alert at all times and give absolutely no personal information regarding your home, finances, number of children, etc., and NEVER send money.  It is a neverending downhill run if you do.

[AARPTeri]

There are a few articles on AARP.org that address this particular scam and more.  Here is one - How to Stay Safe While Dating article:  http://www.aarp.org/home-family/dating/info-01-2013/online-dating-safety-tips-solin.html.

Since it sounds like your incident may have occurred through How About We.  We ask that you send an email to theteam@howaboutwe.com , so that they can take appropriate action to block further use of the Services by any individuals who may have accessed them for improper purposes.

[r447879w]

Why doesn't AARP have their own dating site since all AARP members are 50 and above. It would be a great way to connect in a safe online place. What do you say AARP??? 

[lavfly1]

I too wish that there was an AARP dating site.  Even though it is a large membership, I still feel insulated and more secure with AARP members than any other site.

[MagneticPixie]

I am new to all of this, just joined AARP. One of the reasons I joined, other than the discounts, is because I thought they had a dating site. I have had my share of disappointments with the usual dating sites. Since this section is titled "AARP Dating Site" why not turn it into one?

[wldflwrs]

I also thought AARP had a dating site but only found this.

[bf289]

 Hi.   I see you posted quite some time ago.  This is the first time on this site or anything to do with dating sites, although I've been a member for 20 years.  I've been single since the end of March.  Been married my entire life!  The lonliness is overwhelming.  I've tried eharmony, Match2.com, and christianmingle.com.  I was on christianmingle.com when a person such as you described.  He was slow going, talked a lot, was an expert typist, and told me everything I ever wanted to hear.  After about 30 days of daily messaging, some phone calling (he was French and had that French accent so was difficult to understand over the phone).  Anyway, he finally got around to explaining how this job he was on required an additional expenditure and he really needed to finish it so he could then leave and come see me.  HA!  He asked for $4500.  My goodness.....lol.   I began putting 2 and 2 together, I saved all our communications and saw where the discrepancies in what he told me over the weeks didn't add up.  I wouldn't have sent money anyway, cause I'm a bit smarter than that (like you).  I wrote a dear John letter to him then blocked him from my site and my phone.  Wow.   These kinds of men are everywhere.

The dating sites can only go by what people tell them on their application.  It is us who have to be careful.  Even on this site.  What makes me really angry is even though my profile says I want to meet people within 50 miles of my zip code, they forward on people from around the country and world!  Geez!  A person over 50 wants to have a conversation with a local man, someone they can meet for coffee or dinner,  date perhaps, etc.  How on earth can someone have a long distance relationship such as around the country/world.   Makes me very angry.  I will get an email about how someone is interested me and I excitedly go see only to find it's a 28 year old in Nigeria or somewhere. 

Anyway, this is long, but I wanted to wish you well....I hope you find what you're looking for, and it's hard.  May God bless you and yours......Bonnie

[vickiphipps]

Been there too ! Right after my husband was gone for two years. E harmony
Cost me $ 10000.00 ruff to say and I thought I was street smart. Ha

[DaraII]

Sorry to hear about your financial lost.  Stay safe & stay well.

[Germangirl]

Bonnie, I agree with everything you said! SO glad you were smarter than the jerk.

Germangirl/Huntsville tx

[EveRH]

@bf289 wrote:

 Hi.   I see you posted quite some time ago.  This is the first time on this site or anything to do with dating sites, although I've been a member for 20 years.  I've been single since the end of March.  Been married my entire life!  The lonliness is overwhelming. 

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I don't know the circumstances for you being single again, but it's probably wise to ease back into the social scene via safe groups & with friends you already know. Probably the most dangerous time to start dating, especially via the online, is when a person is desperate because "the loneliness is overwhelming"! That often means people ignore the red flags they see, and leap to conclusions about what the smallest kindness might mean. Be Careful!!

[Centristsin2010]

Yes, there are scammers everywher and seniors are certainly a target.  Good for you for playing it smart.

Remeber though, there are still some gems out there.

[jaycee60]

Thank you for your input

[Centristsin2010]

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am,

There are jerks everywhere, even on dating sites....you just need to weed through them, just as you do in your garden.  If you're a rose, you'll find a rose...

There are dating sites just for seniors that you might find more appropriate and many say eharmony is a good site as well.

One comment you made here though is, IMO, a red flag to many men...."I am ready for a relationship now..."  Though it very well be innocent enough, some may see it as desperate or needy.  Take your time....and weed first.  You may be pleasantly surprised to find that beautiful flower you knew was out there.

Good luck.

[Yanchc22]

I agree 100% with someone in the dating site responding under someone's profile/picture.  Noticed it recently when I started receiving replies not matching the profiles.  Getting notes from "engineers" who can't spell or speak proper English.  If that's what they got from their degrees/years in school, this is sad or more likely an impostor!  I plan to play along and yank their cords...sad that AARP does not have more interest in cleaning these guys out and having a more secure site.  Wasted money for something serious so I might as well have some fun for what I paid for!  I can build a story as big as the next guy!  Good luck.  Be glad you're smart enough to spot such weirdos...

[EveRH]

@Yanchc22 wrote:

I agree 100% with someone in the dating site responding under someone's profile/picture.  Noticed it recently when I started receiving replies not matching the profiles.  Getting notes from "engineers" who can't spell or speak proper English.  If that's what they got from their degrees/years in school, this is sad or more likely an impostor!  I plan to play along and yank their cords...sad that AARP does not have more interest in cleaning these guys out and having a more secure site.  Wasted money for something serious so I might as well have some fun for what I paid for!  I can build a story as big as the next guy!  Good luck.  Be glad you're smart enough to spot such weirdos...

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WHAT dating website are you referring to? AARP partners with some other company they recommend, but have no control over that other website. There is no "dating website" on the AARP website.