Re: caregiving for husband - wages for me

FayeH268128 · ‎04-16-2018

My husband had a stroke last October and at that time I was working part time. He is doing therapy 2 times a week for OT, PT and Speech. He is not impaired completely, he is left side deficit, so I do help him dress, shower, and some help with food since his left hand does not work yet. He isn't driving yet, but hopefully someday soon. A friend told me that there may be help for income since I had to quit working my part time job.

JaneCares · ‎04-17-2018

@FayeH268128wrote:
My husband had a stroke last October and at that time I was working part time. He is doing therapy 2 times a week for OT, PT and Speech. He is not impaired completely, he is left side deficit, so I do help him dress, shower, and some help with food since his left hand does not work yet. He isn't driving yet, but hopefully someday soon. A friend told me that there may be help for income since I had to quit working my part time job.

Hi Faye,

I'm so sorry he had a stroke in October. He sounds like he's making a good recovery, although as you know it is so variable how much function he'll regain. He sounds busy since he's doing therapy five months after the stroke. Good for him!

And, he's lucky to have your help. The whole income thing? It is very complicated.

AARP has a thorough article about this: you can find it here https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/financial-legal/info-2017/you-can-get-paid-as-a-family-caregiver.htm...

Your husband needs to have Medicaid or be eligible for it, and needs to be a Veteran in order for there to be even a possibility that you could get paid for caring for him. I'll leave you to peruse the article to see if it fits your situation.

Whether or not it does, there are other ways to preserve income, reduce expenses, write off some expenses on your taxes, etc. Is he older than 60? One way to learn about resources in your community is to call the agency that helps people 60 and over: go to www.eldercare.gov and type in your zip code. The agency that comes up is the one that can steer you both to all kinds of benefits and programs he might be eligible. Rides to doctor appointments. Meals on wheels to give you a break from cooking or allow a meal to come to the home while you're out of the house doing something else. It's worth your time to make an appointment with a social worker and just talk over your situation. So there's that.

Do you own your house? Does he already receive social security? Do you? Do you have an accountant do your taxes? Could he or she help you look over all of your assets and your debts and help you make a financial plan? If you cannot return to work, and he can't work either, then how are you going to sustain both of you for the long haul? An elder care expert in the legal world is one of the best sources of guidance, but they are not cheap. However, your future comfort and security is really important. Really really important.

Wouldn't it be great if you could just have your lost income replaced? That might happen in Sweden, but not in the USA where folks are presumed to take care of family members out of love. Love does not pay the utility bill. So you'll need to look at all the angles here. I wish it was simpler.

I'm also wondering if there are other family members who can take turns caring for him so that you can either take a break, or perhaps work even more part time than before. Siblings, adult or teen children. His stroke does not mean you and you alone need to carry the tasks that suddenly need doing.

Self care is also caregiving for him.

So i've thrown a lot at you. Please write more, get more specific if you like with your questions. There are many wise folks here who might have more insight or suggestions. I'm glad you wrote. Please tell us what you've found out... if you have time...

Wishing you and your husband all the best,

Jane