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Re: What can I do? My Mom keeps feeding the dog people food and its making him sick

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ntl291:

Hi there! I noticed someone mentioned the Prepare to Care. Here is a link to download a copy: www.aarp.org/preparetocare. 

 

We also have a Careguide on Dementia that may be of help. 

 

Please keep us posted!

AARPJen
Caregiving Concierge
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Re: What can I do? My Mom keeps feeding the dog people food and its making him sick

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I’ve done all of the above!  Your question could have been mine.  Did you find anything that works?  I have only been moms caregiver for 7 months.  It’s driving me nuts.

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Re: What can I do? My Mom keeps feeding the dog people food and its making him sick

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Seems this is a very common obsession for people with dementia.  My mom is obsessive about feeding her little dog and it is beginning to show.  I am not yet too worried about the dog's health though.  Mom gives me many reasons for conern!

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Re: What can I do? My Mom keeps feeding the dog people food and its making him sick

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Old thread, but here is a worst case possibility for you: Your dog or cat could die. Really.

 

I have a 101-year-old mother with both dementia and narcissistic personality disorder (not caused by the dementia; she's always been narcissistic, and I had to undergo years of healing from her self-absorbed behavior in order to create a somewhat successful life for myself; plus, I'm a former psychologist, and I am fully able to diagnose narcissism). I've cared for her for 9 years, in her own home with my husband. My husand and I both lost our jobs and careers during the recession, have never recoverd financially, and lost our own home to foreclosure--moving in with mom solved two problems at once, her need for a caregiver and our need for a living space.

 

I had an Italian Greyhound (one of two dogs we had) when we moved in named Flash. Mom had only very, very mild dementia years ago, but has always managed to sneak people food to my dogs whenever my back is turned. She has been told hundreds of times not to do this, but her narcissistic need to control made her defiant when we talked to her about it. Also, her narcissistic need to be right caused her to claim that we were wrong, that people food doesn't hurt dogs, that she knows better than the vet because "I've had dogs for years," etc. etc.

 

Feeding dogs either onions or grapes can cause a lethal malady called Hemolytic Anemia, which costs thousands of dollars to treat long term and has a high death rate. My dog Flash contracted both Hemmorhagic Gastroenteritis (another sometimes fatal disease triggered by bad food) and Hemolytic Anemia after living with Mom for a few years, undoubtedly caused by the thousands of inappropriate, highly spiced people foods she snuck to him. He survived the gastroenteritis but eventually died at age 10 from the anemia, after we spent $8000 to try to save his life. We are still paying off the medical debt two years after he died. Mom never took any responsibilty for his illness, never contributed a penny for his medical care, and still denies that her defiant feeding of the dogs had anything to do with his health.

 

I personally took Flash's death very hard, and was depressed for about 6 months after he died. I'd never had a dog I loved as much as Flash, and knowing my Mom killed him has been very difficult to deal with. So think about whether you could deal with knowing your mother killed your dog, when it comes to considering solutions. I say lock the fridge and lock the pantry, and watch her like a hawk when she's eating, and take away any uneaten food from her immediately. It's the only way to be safe.

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Re: What can I do? My Mom keeps feeding the dog people food and its making him sick

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My mom has Alzheimers and I have 5 dogs (small) and she likes to feed them whatever she is eating, what I usually do is, while we are having breakfast, lunch, dinner, etc. I put my dogs in an  outside patio. When we are done they come inside again. They are all very close to her and its important, it is a great therapy for her. Also you could contact an agency to get you help (respite) for a few hours like I do. Is she alone all day? Does she cook? You could do the cooking and make sure she doesnt feed him. Watch her intently like I do. I sit with my mom until she is done, and make sure she is not feeding them. Sometimes she will throw food on the floor even if the dogs are not there. hope this helps.

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Re: What can I do? My Mom keeps feeding the dog people food and its making him sick

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My mom feeds my dogs people food as well - wat I recently began doing was put the dogs in a huge kennel I keep in the family room wen she eats / also wen she is in the bathroom (as she is constantly cleaning her dentures) I go through her night stand drawers and remove any good she keeps in her drawers - I feel ur frustration because I am constantly telling her not to feed the dogs but with her dementia and love for dogs it is hard to stop her - I hope this helps 😊
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Re: What can I do? My Mom keeps feeding the dog people food and its making him sick

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I am having the same problem with my father. I keep a jar with dog treats on the counter and ask him to give those to the dogs, but he still gives them food from the table. I finally had to start keeping the dogs out of the room while while my father is eating. Best of luck to you!

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Re: What can I do? My Mom keeps feeding the dog people food and its making him sick

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Could you have a special jar with treats for the dog that your mother could have by her chair or???   maybe she could learn to substitute these treats for the food that makes your dog sick.   Good luck!!

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Re: What can I do? My Mom keeps feeding the dog people food and its making him sick

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Hi there,

 

Wow this thread has gotten hot! You're getting some good advice through the heat, though, so i hope it's useful to you.

 

I like the suggestion of labeling "doggie treats" in jars placed easily where your mom can get to them. Sounds like your mom likes to feed the dog what she's eating. If she eats some high protein stuff, like an omelette or some lean turkey, and some vegetables, the dog can eat that, too, i think (not so sure about the veggies.) Maybe padlocking the fridge, leaving the doggie treats (and some human snacks that aren't terrible for the dog) out for her?  (Cheese sticks, ritz crackers, celery and peanut butter...)

 

How cool that she has a dog right there with her.

 

One point i want to make: I want to make a distinction here between Senior Community Centers and Adult Day Care Programs. the former are for much more independent older folks and the latter are absolutely suited and safe for people with dementia. "Packing off" does sound glib, but if you're not around during the day to monitor what food mom has access to, it isn't a terrible idea. These programs vary a great deal, but are filled with professionals who offer activities, lunch, and therapies, too, that really help folks with dementia.  They are not free, but i have a number of clients who enjoy going. (I'm a geriatric care manager.)

 

Any of these suggestions helping?

 

Jane

 

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Re: What can I do? My Mom keeps feeding the dog people food and its making him sick

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We have the same problem at our home with the Mom's (dementia) feeding the dogs.  The dogs get sick.  Our carpets are a shambles.  It hurts so much to see the dogs sick and the Mom's feed the dogs.  The Mom's cannot remember us telling them to not feed the dogs.  It can only be a few minutes after I tell them the dog was sick that they feed the dogs again.  Locking the dogs in a different part of the house during meal time does not work either.  Moms and dogs get upset.  Because meal time is an upsetting time for all of us, I have just tried giving it up to the fact that dogs are like their children and they figure if the food is good enough for humans it's good enough for their best dog pal.  We set aside a special portion of carrots, plain pumpkin and green beans just for the Mom's to give the dogs and that helps.  Dogs eat bugs, chase lizards, chase quail and eat lots of disgusting stuff. Do not think there is an easy answer.

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