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Info Seeker
Posts: 2
Registered: ‎04-14-2014

Re: Tell us about the changes in your role

Message 1 of 2 (47 Views)

Hi Teri,

Most days I do feel as if I'm a nurse and not a wife. My husband was seriously ill for about a year after going through a 3 month battle with an infection and amputation.  He became dependent on me for his existence once he was home from the hospital and a short stay in a rehab (nursing home), where he hounded me while working as to why he could not be there.  Considering that I'm a working caregiver I find that I go to work to bring home the bacon per say and then there's this job waiting for me when I arrive home.  We do not have children together but he has four of his own (3 girls and 1 boy) all are of age (35-40's) and have a child or children. Of course I would not expect them to take on all of the work of caring for their father but it would be nice to have help. One daughter does not work and her children are all of school age same for his son. The other daughter works with a school aged child and has a couples days off during the week. The oldest works and has a grown son, they all seem to have time to do what the want to do to keep balance in their lives. None of them will commit to help in anyway, at any time unless it's a day that they need him financially.  Therefore I've become not only the Nurse but the following: Scheduler, Transporter, Housekeeper, Chef, Dietitian, Grocery Shopper, Bill Payer, Motivator, Therapist, Barber, Butler, Pharmacy this list goes on and on.

 

If one happens to find themselves in the position of a caregiver of their spouse, I hope that you are able to look to someone for additional help if not you are guaranteed to experience burnout. Be sure to except any help that is offered and if you can afford to pay of help do so.  This will allow for you to not feel as if you have lost yourself and any sense of normalcy to your quality of life.

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Community Manager
Posts: 1,454
Registered: ‎10-09-2007

Tell us about the changes in your role

Message 2 of 2 (223 Views)

Have you changed from daughter to adult caregiver for your parents?  Changed from spouse to nurse?  Tell us about how your role changes as a caregiver and what others can expect.

AARPTeri