Taking care of wheelchair bound 83 yr old mother

[demont94]

Hello:

I am trying to do my homework on how and where do I start to become a caregiver for my 83 year old mother because I am new to all of this. My mother is in a wheelchair with no mobility of her legs. She had a stroke years ago and only has mobility in her right arm and hand. She went through major surgery in 2013 and has been living with a close family member because she is unable to live on her own. Although, prior to the surgeries, she was living independent. But, not taking care of herself properly was the reason for the surgeries. Now she is in form of depression and is in total denial of her condition. Her living arrangement has become unhealthy for her mentally and physcally, therefore, I am trying to rectified her situation in hopes to make it better for the remaining days of her life, but I don't know what road or direction to take. I do work full-time and I am a single female. I myself am 58 years old in fair to good health. I would like to continue working. My mother does receive medicare, medicaid and Athem Blue Cross Blue Shield.

I would like in-home health care for her, but there wasn't anthing available through AARP online website and per the convesation with a represenbtative for the rural area I just moved to.  I hope someone can give me advise, I will greatly appreciate any help I can seek.

[k920582e]

Hi there! Will you be the only caregiver involved with taking care of your mother? I have three sisters and they are all involved with taking care of my father, which is a blessing, but it can also be difficult to coordinate a lot of the necessary tasks like medication management and doctor's appointments. 

I tried a bunch of different apps and programs in order for me to stay on top of everything, but none have helped us coordinate our caregiving duties like Kinto. I think it could be helpful even for someone who is (so amazingly) doing it largely on their own. The app has a bunch of useful tools like medication management and document storage. There are also helpful articles that might address some of your concerns. If you're interested (and I highly recommend it to any caregiver), you can get more info at kinto.care. 

Have a great day! 

[JaneCares]

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@demont94 wrote:

Hello:

I am trying to do my homework on how and where do I start to become a caregiver for my 83 year old mother because I am new to all of this. My mother is in a wheelchair with no mobility of her legs. She had a stroke years ago and only has mobility in her right arm and hand. She went through major surgery in 2013 and has been living with a close family member because she is unable to live on her own. Although, prior to the surgeries, she was living independent. But, not taking care of herself properly was the reason for the surgeries. Now she is in form of depression and is in total denial of her condition. Her living arrangement has become unhealthy for her mentally and physcally, therefore, I am trying to rectified her situation in hopes to make it better for the remaining days of her life, but I don't know what road or direction to take. I do work full-time and I am a single female. I myself am 58 years old in fair to good health. I would like to continue working. My mother does receive medicare, medicaid and Athem Blue Cross Blue Shield.

I would like in-home health care for her, but there wasn't anthing available through AARP online website and per the convesation with a represenbtative for the rural area I just moved to.  I hope someone can give me advise, I will greatly appreciate any help I can seek.

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Hi there, demon,

Does she live in the rural area, too?

You plan to help set up supports for her so she can live by herself? Such as home health aids?

Does she really have medicaid?  

You do need a lot of advice. Here's a couple of places to start. Go to www.eldercare.gov and enter in her zip code. Or yours. It depends on where you want her to live. Then go meet with the folks at the agency you find.

Tell us more.

Jane

[GailL1]

demont94 - a few general questions

What state are you and your mother living in now?

Is she signed up for Medicaid in the state where you are both now living?

What is the Anthem BlueCross Blue Shield ?  A supplemental (Medigap policy) to her Medicare benefits?  Her prescription drug program?

Does she have a personal care physician where you both are now living?

Unless she has a specific medical issue which a visiting health care provider has to handle or check on periodically, Medicare does not handle daily living care.

Medicare - Home Health Services

I ask about her Medicaid coverage because in certain states, they may provide some daily living care or give her a subsidy to buy this type of care depending upon what she needs.  There are different programs so the state where she is on Medicaid is important as to the program they have going - they have different names, state specific but could be under a couple of umbrella names: 

Here is some general info on what one program is about -

Caring.com - Medicaid Home Based Care

or another one is -

Medicaid - PACE - Program of All-Inclusive Care for the Elderly

These programs aim to provide her some care in the home environment in order to keep her out of the more expensive LTC in a nursing home. 

Hopefully, the moderators will move your post to the AARP caregiving topic area where others will see your post and your answers to these questions to at least give you a little direction.

AARP Caregiving Discussion Board

You are a good daughter - I am sure your mother appreciates your time and effort in caring for her as she did for you when you were growing up.