I feel for you and your situation! I am a caregiver myself. I highly recommend A Place for Mom. They were very helpful to me when I had to make the tough decision to move my mom into Independent Living a few years ago. Independent Living meant she still had her own apartment - minus an oven/stove, but also had pull cords and staff there to check on her daily. She had been taking falls and one time, nearly had to call 911 for help as I was no where nearby to help. (I might add that we do not have family nearby so it is squarely on me to provide help and support) The counselor from APFM was extremely helpful in sorting through the monthly costs, options, and even scheduled appointments for me to visit various places.
I also learned about the VA Benefit my mom could apply for to help with payment of her ongoing care, with a doctors letter. I ended up hiring an ElderCare attorney to process the paperwork for the VA, as if you mess it up, it can be a long and sometimes impossible process to get approval. We did get approved, and while I had to pay up front the first six months, we were reimbursed a lump sum and monthly payments since. The cost was around $450 for the attorney, but well worth it.
Last March, we reached a point where I had to move my mom into her current residence's Assisted Living wing. She needs more daily care now than ever and recently started having the nurses administer her medications. This has been a difficult adjustment. At times my moms states that it feels like a "communist society"! While I have to admit, she is right, it cannot really be helped. She still tends to refuse help and is extremely particular about who is allowed to do what, but this is where we are now.
This is a difficult road we are all on as caregivers, but when you simply cannot continue to do everything yourself and need help, it is a choice that has to be made. I visit my mom nearly daily to bring groceries (we can jam pack an apartment sized fridge!), to do her laundry and spend time with her. I wash her hair, clean her space, and try to make her feel comfortable. I am doing the very best I can in what is an extremely difficult situation. That is all anyone can do. And take one day at a time.