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Senior companion while grieving a loss of spouse

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Periodic Contributor

Senior companion while grieving a loss of spouse

Recently a friend lost her spouse after 76 yrs together. Was having difficulty & needed a companion especially at night. Called agencies, senior helpers, visiting angels & healthcare insurance ( not covered) for help. Costs run from $32 to $40 an hour! Unaffordable on fixed income. Surprised that no organization available for volunteers. No government or AARP, church, independent living facilities have any help. Seems to me that is an issue AARP could address as more elderly and inevitably losses of significant other. Children not always willing to step up; most aging themselves and maybe still working or involved helping with grandchildren. Help AARP.

 THANKS 

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Community Concierge

@eh8214 You're such a wonderful friend! Please let your friend know that we are thinking of her and we send our deepest condolences 🤗

Eldercare Locator may be able to guide you to info for in home services. Eldercare Locator is a service provided by the U.S. Administration on Aging that connects you to services for older adults and their families. You can find local referrals from Eldercare Locator via website and chat at eldercare.acl.gov 

Also, the AARP Friendly Voice program connects people to people. If your friend may be interested in receiving a phone call from a friendly voice, check out our site here: https://www.aarp.org/home-family/friends-family/friendly-voice/

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Periodic Contributor

Finding help wasn’t an issue! Cost is, especially on seniors on fixed income whose children ( no family or children) won’t step up. As I’ve stated in initial email $32 to $40 an hour is available but unfortunately unaffordable. I do appreciate prompt response. Thanks 

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Newbie

Words cannot express the sorrow of these experiences.  My house burned entirely to the ground last September in a fire we had in our town.  I was taking care of my Aunt and we had to evacuate.  She was on Hospice and a month and a half, later she passed away from her ailments.  My daughter died on Christmas Eve.  She suffered mental and physical pain and just couldn't cope. Then my mama lived with me in May of this year while suffering from Alzheimer's. She was almost 96 years old and she passed away in June of this year. Hospice was also helping with her care (and they have a grieving program). I say these things because it makes me think of Job, from the Bible, and what he endured. This is a part of life we have no control over. My heart feels like it's one big bruise. It hurts. Sometimes you can get through a day without crying but not that often.  Time is the only friend.  We never forget but the pain will hurt less. Whenever someone says, "What can I do?" or "Call me if you need anything."  Ask them if you might call them when you can't sleep, just to talk. The words spoken are usually sincere because people really don't know .hat they can do to help and they want to, so take them up on those offers. We usually can get through the day but it's the night that's tough.

I have so much more to say but will leave it at that.

(I am new to AARP so don't know the protocol for this section and never have answered to anything like this before but due to the recent events in my life l felt to answer)

Thanks 

 

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Periodic Contributor

You’ve had many trials in a very short time & were there for your family. My thoughts are with you. My friend calls when overwhelmed anytime & we talk. I’m happy to say she’s slowly coming to terms with her loss. Take care.

 Thanks 

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Gold Conversationalist

Hi @j858615f   You may find some comfort & help in a forum called

Grief & Loss: https://community.aarp.org/t5/Grief-Loss/bd-p/GriefLoss

 Of the topics listed, an active one is called:

“A Place To Be With OTHERS Who Are Grieving! WE support each other.” https://community.aarp.org/t5/Grief-Loss/A-Place-To-Be-With-OTHERS-Who-Are-Grieving-WE-support-each-...

There you will find a long time friend of mine, Nicole @SummerIsTooHOT & who is very nice, empathetic & helpful...& who is active posting in many topics & often is starting new ones.

Hope this may help!

Take care ~Allen

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Periodic Contributor

That’s great for someone that has vision to navigate on internet. Except  for macular degeneration, my friend is almost 95 years old. Doesn’t need cane, walker or wheelchair. She’s a remarkable woman who has adapted to visual impairment mostly due to iPhone where she can use voice commands. Her needs are minimal & with a little help (moral support) she can stay in her home a little longer with government subsidies instead of a nursing home (cheaper?). That’s what’s lacking in USA. Thanks 

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Regular Social Butterfly

Please remember both Microsoft and Google based computers have full accessibility features (not Apple user so can't write to that OS). Your friend can "surf the internet" using voice as she does with her iPhone, including joining our discussion.

 

Please have her join us?


#VegasStrong
Phil Harris, actor and showman, to John Fogerty of CCR: “If I’d known I’d live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself.”
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