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Seeking advice regarding long-distance caregiving

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Hello,

My mother lives about 1000 miles from me. Her spouse (my father) died about 2 years ago. She is 70 and in very good physical health but underwent successful cancer treatment about 2 years ago. My father made all financial decisions. My mother is currently selling her family home of >30 years. She has chronic anxiety and depression for which she refuses to get any treatment or counseling. She has institutional financial advisors and has not been willing to involve her children in financial decision-making.

She does not really want to move to be near me or my sister, who lives about 1000 miles away from both of us.

The move out of her home is completely necessary but is causing her anxiety to peak. She has made a temporary arrangement to enter a long-term transitional living community, which involves giving up virtually all of her (substantial) assets over the next several years. She feels isolated and alone and wants someone to take care of her.

Both my sibling and I have voiced that we feel this is a premature and the facility she is moving into carries a substantial debt load, and we worry that this fear-based decision will remove her long-term independence and possibly leave her destitute should the institution fail. The fine print of the contract also states that they can boot her from the facility if she runs out of money. We would like her to move into a condo, or rent somewhere until she could find a place to buy.

She has somewhat unrealistic expectations of what her children should do for her (move there), and I am curious what suggestions people have in this situation.

I've tended to be very independent from my parents, as they were very controlling during my late-adolescence and college years. I'd like to help, but I realize that there is only so much I can do. I don't want to be harsh, but I've told her that her decision to sign over all her assets is unwise. I am financially independent myself, so I have no interest in her money, but I feel I should make it clear that I will not come to her rescue if she goes ahead against my/my sister's best advice.

Any general suggestions?

More specifically, do people have any ideas of how to find a local person who can provide some support (eg checking in periodically, someone to take her to medical appointments)?

My mother doesn't really respect boundaries very well, so I think that many well-meaning people are turned off by her who are unpaid (eg church members, neighbors, etc.).

Thanks!
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