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Re: Is anyone taking care of a spouse?

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Message 71 of 282

It is hard because it is not that he can't take care of him self it is that he won't and he has been as difficult as all get go last 2 days question us is it his mental health disirder, amoinia in his bilbrum going to his head or both how the hell am I supposed to figure it out.

GEH
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Re: Is anyone taking care of a spouse?

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Have not been able to find one where I live and believe me I have tried.

GEH
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Re: Is anyone taking care of a spouse?

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@geh66 wrote:

The liver doctor believed there is still health and life left in his liver if he would stay of Alcohol there is no telling how many years he would have but he will not stop drinking so I fear he will be gone by christmas. I fear he is in denial off his condition and addiction and had fallen into a depression and is giving up. I do not know how to reach him. 


That is so hard. For you to love him, and try to help him, and for him to be unable to help himself. People drink for all kinds of reasons, as a way of 'self medicating.' And alcoholism is a disease that does progress and get worse. Very hard to reverse. Very hard to quit drinking. Which doesn't mean that it's impossible to do.  

 

Have you ever gone to an Alanon meeting? They are the 12 step meetings for partners of people who are alcoholics. I went to a meeting for a year or so some time back, regarding my mother who was not even an alcoholic, but the philosophy of 'detachment' was really helpful ... How do you love someone who is self-destructing? You detach, and still love them. You are with them, but you are not consumed with guilt that you cannot seem to figure out how to rescue him or her. 

 

Does that make any sense?

 

It would be a free source of support. Just a thought. He is very lucky you are in his life.

 

Jane

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Re: Is anyone taking care of a spouse?

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My dogs are precious friends I do not know how I would cope without them. 

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Re: Is anyone taking care of a spouse?

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My dogs are precious friends I do not know how I would cope without them. 

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Re: Is anyone taking care of a spouse?

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My dogs are precious friends I do not know how I would cope without them. 

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Re: Is anyone taking care of a spouse?

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Message 77 of 282

The liver doctor believed there is still health and life left in his liver if he would stay of Alcohol there is no telling how many years he would have but he will not stop drinking so I fear he will be gone by christmas. I fear he is in denial off his condition and addiction and had fallen into a depression and is giving up. I do not know how to reach him. 

GEH
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Re: Is anyone taking care of a spouse?

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@geh66 wrote:

No he keeps saying HE won't be around much longer, his ex wife died in April 2016 of a ruptured hernia I am his 3rd wife


Oh i see. I hope he does get better and feels better. What does his doctor say?

 

He is so lucky to have you in his life.

 

Those dogs sounds like precious friends.

 

Jane

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Re: Is anyone taking care of a spouse?

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My dogs are wonderful my Nicknames for them are Mr hugs and Mr kiddies. The one thought that I hold on to that keeps me going is My husband is not a bad man that needs to get better he is a very sick man who needs to get well.

 

 

 

 

 

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Re: Is anyone taking care of a spouse?

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Thank You for your words if support.

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