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Re: Is anyone taking care of a spouse?

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Message 271 of 286

Georgieanna,

 

I love your attitude!

 

 

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Regular Social Butterfly
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Re: Is anyone taking care of a spouse?

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Message 272 of 286

It sounds like a heavy burden. Are there any 'in person' support groups near you? The Alzheimers Association has a list of groups. Do you have adult children who can at least give you a few hours' break?  Can you hire an aide for even just 4 hours a week? (the minimum at most home health care agencies.)  That $80 or so would be well spent. It's cheaper than therapy!

 

How could he get better if he acted?

 

Please keep sharing!

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Is anyone taking care of a spouse?

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Message 273 of 286

I am new to this site.  My husband was diagnosed with Parkinson's in Jan 1999 and did have the Deep Brain Surgery (DBS) in 2013 which helped him tremendously with the symptoms.  He has been using a motorized wheelchair for about two years now and since we have a two-story house, we purchased a chairlift.  That was the best thing we did to get the chairlift.  I got a little resistance because he said he didn't need it but I told him I would order it anyway.    It is very hard to see such a vibrant guy be reduced to being in a wheelchair.  We also purchased a Luggie travel scooter which he uses to get in and out of restaurants and doctors' offices.  It is very stressful for me but working out three hours a day, three times a week has really helped me reduce my stress.  I do the eliptical trainer and weight training.  I told him once that I needed a caregiver vacation and the response was that he needed a vacation from Parkinson's.  So I never got a vacation from caregiving.  My one issue with Parkinson's is the speech.  I can hardly hear him when he speaks and have to ask him several times to repeat himself which causes me a lot of frustration.  It feels very lonely even though I have someone in the house but can't speak to him because he can't respond very well.  I bought him several voice amplifiers but he wouldn't use them.  We have a Panama Amazon Parrot who talks alot is a good companion. 

Yvonne

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Re: Is anyone taking care of a spouse?

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Message 274 of 286

Pam - Girlfriend - I'm in the same situation.  My husband went from a funny, kind, wonderful man to a mean and selfish piece of  *^ %!.  I work full time and come home to be his slave.  Hang in there.

Consider yourself hugged and hugged.  You're worth 10,000 pieces of gold.

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Valued Social Butterfly
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Re: Is anyone taking care of a spouse?

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Message 275 of 286

Sincerely hope your org is on the level and all that you say it is.     

 

If so,  this is one of the few times a post has appeared on any of these forums that could actually be helpful,  useful,   and of actual/real time  assistance to people dealing with these type problems.  

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Re: Is anyone taking care of a spouse?

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Message 276 of 286

The Well Spouse Association is a national non-profit that supports anyone caring for a chronically ill or disabled spouse/partner.  Please visit our website at www.wellspouse.org for more information.  We have local face-to-face support groups as well as telephone support and an online forum and chat.  We also have a Facebook group:  Spousal Caregivers - Well Spouse Association.

 

We are the ONLY organization dedicated to supporting this group of caregivers with our unique challenges.  We are volunteer run, and are a 501(c)3 non-profit.  You will find that members GET IT!  Check us out.

 

Jan Rabinowitz

Co-President

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Re: Is anyone taking care of a spouse?

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Message 277 of 286

Hi,

   I am new to this process. I can relate to your situation, although my wife is in early stage of be depressed all the time, obvious memory lapses, very negative and critical of friends and family.

This began about 2 and half yrs ago. " I am not driving any more" I believe she was confused on her location not sure on way to get home. Since, I will not cook ant more. Forgets a conversation within minutes. Not sure how to turn oven on or off. Adamant on not seeing doctor , for routine exams f.e. eye, dentist, dermatogolist and family doc. " I am fine and do not need a doctor" . I have therefore not received a diagnosis. Have arrange 3 visits with local female internist. A fine lady and compasinate.

My wife has some confidence in her advice, but will not take ant tests or medications. Always well groomed,now will not go to a hair dresser. Hair now gray and has not been cut for months.She still has good personal hygeine. I could use some ideas on how coup with her condition.

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Re: Is anyone taking care of a spouse?

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Message 278 of 286
Hi Pam, I wish I was there to personally give you a hug because I so understand how you feel.
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Re: Is anyone taking care of a spouse?

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Message 279 of 286

My name is Pam, and I have been taking care of my husband who suffered a major stroke, for over two years.  He was grouchy before, but now can be brutel.   I need a hug. 

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Re: Is anyone taking care of a spouse?

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Message 280 of 286
I cope by watching a lot of comedy on tv, limiting the negative news, not focusing too much on his dementia and other med problems, getting out for short periods of time, texting and talking to my kids all the time, forgiving myself when I freek-out at him, and mostly trying to turn a negative into a positive.

Georgieanna
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