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Re: Is anyone taking care of a spouse?

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Message 61 of 286

I also am taking care of  my  spouse. Yes it is very challenging. My wife suffered 2 strokes that left her right side paralyzed and  very disrupted speech.  After over 96  days in rehab and  now she is home  (still getting therapy in house). I am now  unable to work  because of it.   trying  to balance out her meals, administering  medications, helping with  her therapy,   bathing, dressing and  going to the bathroom, it can get very overwhelming  at times. But i hold on to the love  that i have for her  and  just keep doing  what I do for her.  I wont  complain because i know that GOD spared her and  this is a nother test in life for the both of us. I believe that she  will  be able to walk again  it  will just take some time. As for me i am just trying  to find  ways to keep the income  going  seeing that i was self employed our  income has come to a stop.  A  friend of mine  told me to go to this web site called Go Fund Me  and  set up donation fund  to help  support our situation. So I have tried it  and  so far it seems to be  working out .. but  over all  yes  there are days that i get  very  tired  and  no I really  dont have  any  help. Our  children live  very far away  and  have their own families to deal with. So I  dig deep and  encourage myself and remind my self why I love this woman so much  and  then it makes it  all  worh  while 

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Re: Is anyone taking care of a spouse?

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Message 62 of 286

@o473291h wrote:
Yes, My name is Ottis. I'm retired and taking care of my totally disable wife. It's extremely challenging.

Welcome, Ottis!  

 

How are you coping with the challenges? Does anyone help you? Do you have hired help to give you a break? Is she cooperative with you, and with her medication or therapies?

 

There's a lot of wisdom in this caregiving community. What tips can you offer? And what questions do you have?

 

Jane

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Re: Is anyone taking care of a spouse?

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Message 63 of 286

@geh66 wrote:

Husband made this statement today if the liver doctor would prescribe me a night time pain medication then I would stop drinking which us worse on my liver a pain pill at bedtime or alcohol all day.


One way to possibly 'intervene' is to enlist the help of his doctor. Pain is often undertreated in addicts and alcoholics who are still using, and the alcoholic has a legitimate beef. They want to self-medicate with alcohol because they can't sleep. is there a way you can drop by the doctor's office and leave a note with the nurse, a few days before an appointment? you could tell the doctor that your husband has pain, is actively drinking, is non compliant, and can the doctor please address these issues. 

 

sometimes patients listen to doctors...

 

jane

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Re: Is anyone taking care of a spouse?

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Message 64 of 286

YEas it is especially when the spouse dos not want to do their part to take care of themselves and then wants to turn it on you.

GEH
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Re: Is anyone taking care of a spouse?

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Message 65 of 286
Yes, My name is Ottis. I'm retired and taking care of my totally disable wife. It's extremely challenging.
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Re: Is anyone taking care of a spouse?

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Message 66 of 286

Husband made this statement today if the liver doctor would prescribe me a night time pain medication then I would stop drinking which us worse on my liver a pain pill at bedtime or alcohol all day.

GEH
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Re: Is anyone tacking care of a spouse?

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Message 67 of 286

I do not know how I keep my self in good spirits I guess my dogs faith hope determination.

GEH
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Re: Is anyone taking care of a spouse?

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Message 68 of 286

When he was taking it regularly I noted his memory was improved and his thinking a little better when he was sober 3 months things were really good I could actually have a conversation with him about money and the household. I feel biggest problem is his drinking exhasperates his untreated mental health condition.  He does not want to take his liver and potassium meds because the make him sick No combining his meds with alcohol is what is making him sick. I wish I could find a way to organize an intervention.

GEH
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Re: Is anyone taking care of a spouse?

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Message 69 of 286

That is the problem husband WILL NOT let me take control of the bills or household, This is why I am considering going to court for conservatorship or for a conservertor to be assigned then I can start to set boundaries for no acceptable behavior, stop being a forced enabker, a list of house hold chores with an amount do those chores you earn money. Basically he behaves like a child he gets treated like one he behaves like a man he gets treated like one.

GEH
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Re: Is anyone taking care of a spouse?

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Message 70 of 286

Glad you wrote! Glad your dog is such a comfort! And, good for you for taking over the bills. I was a care manager for an old coot who gave away hundreds of dollars a month to horses, right wing politicians, and other non essentials!

 

How do you keep yourself in good spirits?

 

Jane

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