Paid caregiving for spouse in California

[c287601z]

Hello.  I am looking for some advice and pointers.  My mother (age 57) takes care of my father (age 64).  He has advanced, early-onset dementia that cannot be specifically diagnosed because he has a pacemaker.  He is highly anxious, and will not cooperate with strangers, so she must be his caregiver 24/7.  He has not left her side, except to spend one-on-one time with me, for 3 years.  Their finances are beginning to decline because she cannot leave him to go to work.  He is retired and has Medicare, which disqualifies my mom from being paid as his caregiver.  She does not yet qualify for her retirement, and has exhausted her unemployment benefits.

Does anyone know ANY way she could be paid to be his caregiver?  We are running out of options.

[JaneCares]

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@c287601z wrote:

Hello.  I am looking for some advice and pointers.  My mother (age 57) takes care of my father (age 64).  He has advanced, early-onset dementia that cannot be specifically diagnosed because he has a pacemaker.  He is highly anxious, and will not cooperate with strangers, so she must be his caregiver 24/7.  He has not left her side, except to spend one-on-one time with me, for 3 years.  Their finances are beginning to decline because she cannot leave him to go to work.  He is retired and has Medicare, which disqualifies my mom from being paid as his caregiver.  She does not yet qualify for her retirement, and has exhausted her unemployment benefits.

Does anyone know ANY way she could be paid to be his caregiver?  We are running out of options.

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To find out if he's also eligible for Medicaid, which sometimes pays family members for caregiving in some states, you could call the area agency on aging in your parents'community. Find out which one that is at www.eldercare.gov and type in their zip code. You must be pretty young. Your parents are really young for such dire circumstances. Early onset dementia is a heartbreaker. Call the agency and if you can, go meet with their senior care manager person. 

There may be other solutions, like reverse mortgage, medication to reduce his anxiety, introducing a caregiver 4 hours a day by having her join your mother and hanging out as a group of 3 until he gets used to the new person. There are lots of solutions and they are not easy. 

Good luck and keep writing. Tell us what you all have tried, oh and see if he's a veteran, too. All kinds of resources. Respite care. Etc. Go find out.

Jane

[Jen]

C287601z,

This is the question that is asked the most and unfortunately the answer is not very clear. The good news is, there are programs and benefits that may help. Here is our most updated article on the subject. I hope you find this helpful. READ HERE.

[a585i]

Hi, 

Have you contacted CaringKind, they are in New York, but they may be able to help you with organization in your area. Their # 646-744-2900 and their website: www.carkingkindnyc.org. They specialized in Alazheimer's & caregiving. They are a wonderful resource and great caring people.

Best wishes to you and your family.

AI