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Need Help finding information on becoming a paid caregiver for

Hi, I am looking for resources on becoming paid for caring for my boyfriend of 26 years, I cannot leave him alone very long which keeps me from working, when I have tried to work in the past, I had to leave work and get back to him. He is on disability and as the years go by it is harder to afford to survive without being able to leave him alone very long. He is exteremely unsocial, which prevents me from having anyone help me with him. He is 53 years old. And has been on disability for 18 years. I have taken care of him through this whole duration, but things are getting, very hard to survive financially with rent increases, utliities, food etc. He cannot leave the house, I do all the banking, shopping, housework, cooking, car service, doctors, pharmacy, moral support etc. Can someone guide me on how to get at least some type of pay for taking care of him? I do not mind but if it keeps up with the financial burden, I fear the outcome, homeless? Very scared here, Thank you for any help! 

AARP Expert

@HeatherE198165 If your boyfriend is on disability - has SSI - then you should be able to talk to his caseworker about programs in your state that pay family and friends to provide care. The Medicaid programs may be called "cash and carry" and allow the person receiving the benefits to choose their caregivers, but there may also be limits on that (for example he may not be able to pay someone living in the same home with him). So your best bet to find out about an federal or state funded programs that might pay you is to contact his social worker, case worker, case manager or whomever is a contact locally.You can also contact your local ADRC (Aging and Disability Resource Center) (find it by going to www.eldercare.gov and putting in your zip code etc.).

 

Explain your situation and ask if there are any funds or programs that can help. 

 

Hope this is helpful! 

 

 

Take care,
Amy Goyer, AARP Family & Caregiving Expert
Honored Social Butterfly


@HeatherE198165wrote:

Hi, I am looking for resources on becoming paid for caring for my boyfriend of 26 years, I cannot leave him alone very long which keeps me from working, when I have tried to work in the past, I had to leave work and get back to him. He is on disability and as the years go by it is harder to afford to survive without being able to leave him alone very long. He is exteremely unsocial, which prevents me from having anyone help me with him. He is 53 years old. And has been on disability for 18 years. I have taken care of him through this whole duration, but things are getting, very hard to survive financially with rent increases, utliities, food etc. He cannot leave the house, I do all the banking, shopping, housework, cooking, car service, doctors, pharmacy, moral support etc. Can someone guide me on how to get at least some type of pay for taking care of him? I do not mind but if it keeps up with the financial burden, I fear the outcome, homeless? Very scared here, Thank you for any help! 


As Jen said, any program which may pay you some small amount as his caregiver will be at the state level for Medicaid or if he is a qualified Veteran, some help may be available from the V.A.

 

Some states don't have this program and even if they do, the amount may not be enough to solve your problem.  If the family income is low enough, there could be other helpful programs - rent subsidies, food subsidies are a couple off the top of my head.

 

The other thing is sometimes we have to do what is best so that both don't go down with the ship so to speak - Based on the family income & asset eligibility, some states may supply a caregiver, a housekeeper or other help for a few hours a day or perhaps more often depending upon the need.  There are also programs for adult daycare.  Perhaps some program like one of these would allow you additional hours to work and bring in more income to the household.

 

You won't know what might be available until you contact you states' Health and Human Services to see what they may offer.  The state is your best resource but here is a list by category from the government which might hold some help for you.

Benefits.gov - Disability Assistance

 

 

 

 

Community Concierge


@HeatherE198165wrote:

Hi, I am looking for resources on becoming paid for caring for my boyfriend of 26 years, I cannot leave him alone very long which keeps me from working, when I have tried to work in the past, I had to leave work and get back to him. He is on disability and as the years go by it is harder to afford to survive without being able to leave him alone very long. He is exteremely unsocial, which prevents me from having anyone help me with him. He is 53 years old. And has been on disability for 18 years. I have taken care of him through this whole duration, but things are getting, very hard to survive financially with rent increases, utliities, food etc. He cannot leave the house, I do all the banking, shopping, housework, cooking, car service, doctors, pharmacy, moral support etc. Can someone guide me on how to get at least some type of pay for taking care of him? I do not mind but if it keeps up with the financial burden, I fear the outcome, homeless? Very scared here, Thank you for any help! 


Heather, 

Thank you for reaching out to us here. Your boyfriend is lucky to have you in his life. Sadly, there is no real answer to your question, but it is one that is often asked of caregivers.Your chances are best if you are caring for someone eligible for Medicaid and living in a state with a Medicaid care program or caring for a U.S. military veteran. 

We do have an extensive article that may be of help. You can find it HERE

Please let us know if this is helpful at all. There might be other tips that the caregivers in the community can provide as well. 

Good luck!

AARPJen
Caregiving Concierge
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