Hang on tight because this is a complicated and tricky situation.
My mom brought me willingly on her own decision to social services when I was a kid because she couldn't support me and living conditions where unsafe.
It was supposed to be temporary with visitation, but she stopped showing up after a few months. So my foster parents successfully petitioned the courts to officially adopt me.
I recently went through the effort of tracking my mom down to find out why she stopped coming without any warning. I found out that just years after she stopped coming to visits she had passed away In a different state. The next question that came immediately was my grandmother. She had been showing early signs of Dementia and Althiemers but for her whole life always had been to be blunt, crazy so it was unsure and questionable if that was really the issue or not .
After some searching I got word from my deceased mother's best friend that my mom had left my grandmother in a nursing home.
After a background check two nursing homes came up as possible addresses associated my grandmothers personal information.
Both addresses in different states, both states my mother had lived in before she died but neither the state she died In.
Both nursing homes have HORRIBLE and TERRIFYING reviews of blatant elderly abuse.
It would not surprise me if it's a state run or my grandmothers stay Is state funded as we where very low income as far back as my great grandmother.
I don't want to call these places and ask if they have my grandmother, I'm afraid I'll be lied to because they mistreated more freely her thinking no one ever would come sniffing on her behalf.
Or that she possibly died and neglect may be involved with her death so the death was never recorded to cover up and pretended she never existed in the first place.
I am in Louisiana and these homes are In Texas and north Carolina. Even if I did go personally, who is to say I will even get passed the front entry and if I do even with her name I don't know if it's safe to trust them to have the right person on possibility of a mix up due to careless administration (the bad reviews went on and on )
I don't remember totally what my grandmother even looked like, and it's been several years so she probably won't be recognizable from memory.
I look identical to my mom but she is said to have Althiemers and dementia, so I cant bet on her recognizing me based off of look.
So what my predicaments are
1. How to I for sure make sure that I am given truthful information if I where to call the homes.
2. Is it possible to further verify that the patient matches whom I actually am looking for
3. HOW DO I GET MY GRANDMOTHER OUT OF THE HOME INTO A BETTER ONE IN LOUISIANA?
I can prove my identity as next of kin and already have to another states coronor to claim my mom's remains left unclaimed for years.
I'm sure I can find some state program in Louisiana that can help with financials, the only thing that matters to me at the moment is her immediate transfer out of the current home she is in.
I cannot bring her into my home, I have a 10 month old baby and I have cerbal palsy. My son might be at risk of harm as well because my grandmother was reported to be abusive towards me as a child (which I have partial unclear memory of).
If she where in a home in Louisiana close to me, from there I am confident that I will be able to monitor what is going on at the home and let a prescences of a nosey family member frequenting.
I did alot of volunteering for several years at elderly homes all across the city to, so they know me for the most part already.
If not, I am definitely a very formidable force to be reckoned with myself. So feel like I would have way more control over my grandmother's safety and quality of life, and more ability to act at a moments notice.
Any one got any thing that might help? Because I'm at the point where I want to just walk into both homes and shake down every room until I get the right one.
That or just have a lawyer start back handing people. Dementia, Althiemers, Crazy, and Abusive all set to the side, no matter what this isn't right. I want my grandmother safe and I want her under my eye, and make sure if anyone mistreats her or neglects her, they will have to answer to me.