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Re: I am caregiver for my grandma age 94, with dementia.

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Message 21 of 26
Thank you so much you are right, what a great idea one weekend a month would be so nice. One if each family took turns would be more than reasonable.
The agency on aging in this area Flint, Mi. Closed I think. But thank you for the info an advice.
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Re: I am caregiver for my grandma age 94, with dementia.

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Message 22 of 26

You must be exhausted!

Auntiekk is right on the money!  The family has no excuse. Everyone has a little bit of time. I'd say drop her off at one of their homes so you can get some time off and go out to dinner. Good grief.

 

Otherwise, I'm thinking that there are supports out there for people with dementia. Is there a decent Agency on Aging in your community? These are places that provide day lunch programs for seniors, organize transportation, provide home delivery (meals on wheels), and all kinds of other services for seniors. You can find out which agency serves your area by checking out www.eldercare.gov and typing in your zip code.

 

You could also take some of her income (social security?) and hire someone like yourself, even just one day a week. Someone who can bathe her, walk around with her, strike up conversations, play cards, get her a meal or two. Change her sheets. Might make your load feel considerable lighter.

 

What an awesome granddaughter you are.

 

I just worry that over time, your own health will suffer, and your marriage might, too. There is help, and there's no need to do it ALL yourself.

 

What do you think? Keep sharing!

 

Jane

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Re: I am caregiver for my grandma age 94, with dementia.

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Message 23 of 26

hi ep572---i have been in your shoes; as both a professional (certified home health aide) and personal (family member(s)).  i would recommend a 'family meeting' via telephones, e-mails, facebook, whatever works requesting that you (& your husband) need to have one weekend a month off from grandma.  explain as you have, that you need time for self, to recharge your batteries, etc. in order to continue to care for grandma.  might have to add:  so they don't have to rearrange their lives, like you have had to.  polish this statement to reflect your family's sensivities; guilt if you will.  there are 6 of them and only 1 of you!  if they take turns, each of them will only need to provide 'coverage' twice a year!!  more than fair i my opinion; and you deserve this!  if grandma ever knew how you were being treated. . .

unfortunately, this does not always work, as you know.  in my area (MA), there are agencies that provide respite care.  one is able to arrange 'coverage' that is needed without a long term 'contract'.

as you know in this profession, we do it because we care; not for the money.  hold dearly the love you have received and will continue to receive from your grandma.

take care

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Re: I am caregiver for my grandma age 94, with dementia.

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Message 24 of 26
I cant put her anywhere, love her and cant do that to her, even if it cost me my life.
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Re: I am caregiver for my grandma age 94, with dementia.

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Message 25 of 26

Hi, I think you really need to either hire someone to come into the home and help you with her for 6 to 8 hours a day ( if not 24 ) , or get her in a long term care facility. You will burn out.

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I am caregiver for my grandma age 94, with dementia.

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Message 26 of 26
Grandma has lived with me since April of 2013. She has dementia and could no longer care for herself. I also care for another lady who I go to her house get her up showered an dressed an make her breakfast an give her meds. Then i go back to her home at nite do physical therapy, undressed, pm meds and tuck her in bed. Then meanwhile careing for grandma 24 hours a day at home.
I have to sleep on the couch outside grandma's room cause she wonders at nite. So I dont get good rest. I am always exausted and get very lonely.
Not to mention my husband (is being very understanding) but we have no personal time together anymore. The rest of the family of her 6 kids, 24 grandchildren, great and great great grandchildren all say we have a life of our own. Well so did I before all this.
I have cared for other people in my home. My mother-in-law had dementia ,lived here till she died.
I was wondering what resources are available as far as a nite out for hubby an I, or help with grandma. I am always exausted. And i get really down. Neeed others to talk to who understands.
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