@kallyw777336 wrote:
I have been taking care of my mother with my brother ever since I been 19. I feel like I'm drowning and I feel numb. I constantly feel tired, anxiety, and depress. I am currently on anti-depressants, they help a little. When I explode I am attack so I can't talk to anyone. I gave up my career and don't talk to my friends. I told my mother I did not want my niece and nephew here with this because money was tight. None of any of my sisters help. One has disappered the other only comes by when she needs something or to watch her kids. I can't seem to please my brother at all he is angry all the time. When I get angry or show emotion I am view as being diffuclut. When I tried to leave my mother with her mother or my father they mistreat her. Then I have to pick up the pieces. I have two older sisters and one of them is a nurse who steals my mother's meds. The other is married and has a better job then my brother and I. My sisters are in their early 40s. I have to be strong because no one else can't be, my uncles help but their schedules are busy. This is a cry I don't know what to do and I want to have a career and business but when it comes to taking care of my mother people act like it is too much or they mess up her insurance. I have given so much and my brother is depress and usually taking about self harming himself. I have very little time to myself and when I try to look for work or go on job interviews no one cleans up or feeds her. I just need help or any place to start. I have a degree I want a career I want to be happy, I just need HELP, PLEASE HELP ME. I just want to leave and start over but have to make sure my mother is taken care of.
Hi KallyW.
This is so terrible, what you're going through. Your entire family needs to come together, but obviously your sisters and brother and uncles are not helping. And some are actively making things work (stealing meds!?!)
Of course you want a life and a career for yourself. What is your brother belly aching about? No wonder you and he are depressed. What does your mother need?
Since you are in a bit of a crisis, at least emotionally (and i apologize for not seeing this until today), I wonder if there is anyone that at least your brother and uncle would listen to, like say, a pastor. You could ask for pastoral help, and gather them, at home would be convenient, and just say, we all need to work together for the good of mother and for the family as a whole: how can we make this work? Ideally, I would gather a family meeting: everyone in the same room. The question being: How are we going to make this work for everyone? Some of you have more skills, some have more money, some have more time... can we set up a schedule, take turns?
When others take care of your mother, she comes back dirty and malnourished??? Goodness gracious.
How have you tried to get help in the past?
What do you want to do for a career?
There are steps you can take, like inviting a social worker who specializes in senior citizens to come by the house and give advice and suggestions... but i worry that you are on 'OVERWHELM' and it's hard to take any steps besides whirling in a desperate circle.
What do you think would be the first next step that would help? Maybe talk frankly with your brother?
Please write back and talk some more. I hope others in this community will speak up. i'll read every day. (I was out of town. No excuse)
Thanks for writing!
Jane
