Hired Caregivers Making Me Crazy

[sh16833104]

I am caring for my husband at home with the help of daytime, hired caregivers, and my dad who I moved to a memory care facility.  It takes a huge toll on me emotionally to see what is happening to my husband and my dad, but it also has become difficult for me to have caregivers in my home everyday.  As I've been learning to deal with the changes in my husband and dad, and our lives together, it seems I'm discovering new challenges.

It seems like my home is no longer mine.  The caregivers do things their way and move and use my things all the time.  I can't find things sometimes, and sometimes I have to clean up after them as they can't seem to find where things go in the cupboards even though they take them out of the place where they belong.

I wish I could take care of my husband myself and send them packing, but I can not.  My health has deteriorated significantly since beginning my caregiving experiences, and my husband can't be left alone, and I have to run to the memory care facility or the hospital if something happens with my dad. 

I'm trying not to be so particular about the messy cupboards and also just do some searching when I can't find things, but it sure gets irritating sometimes. 

The decorative items I chose to display are even moved around.  I don't understand why those things have to be moved or messed with at all.

I don't know if I'm making more of the little things than I need to.  Or if I need to get away and regroup...

Please tell me what you think. 

Thanks.  

[coolmaine · Accepted solution]

Get rid of them immediately! I know you need help because I was a caregiver for both my parents and it was so hard I still cry today and they are both no longer here. Your home and YOUR things do not belong to them. The run of your house is not there's. It's a con game with some because this is what they do to get over. There has to be someone within the AARP Org. that can give you advise or maybe you can contact the council for the aging I think that's the name. I pray that you may gain strength to solve this problem. Remember it's your home.

[jonibee · Accepted solution]

You have got to be the one who tells them what you want done ..Make a list and walk them through it so they understand that they are helpers not the boss. If need be have them come every other day ..some things may be able to slide..You're the judge of that..Tell them in no certain terms to leave things as they are unless directed by you to move them..You have to be in control or you will be driven to distraction by all this . The night before write down what you want done or make a weekly list starting with each day and write down the things for each day then it will become easier knowing what is done..Check each thing off as they get done or have them check it off and check it yourself to see that it was done..Eventually things will fall into a schedule..Good Luck and make sure you take care of your needs also..

[coolmaine · Accepted solution]

Get rid of them immediately! I know you need help because I was a caregiver for both my parents and it was so hard I still cry today and they are both no longer here. Your home and YOUR things do not belong to them. The run of your house is not there's. It's a con game with some because this is what they do to get over. There has to be someone within the AARP Org. that can give you advise or maybe you can contact the council for the aging I think that's the name. I pray that you may gain strength to solve this problem. Remember it's your home.

[LoisF533619]

coolmaine wrote:

Get rid of them immediately! I know you need help because I was a caregiver for both my parents and it was so hard I still cry today and they are both no longer here. Your home and YOUR things do not belong to them. The run of your house is not there's. It's a con game with some because this is what they do to get over. There has to be someone within the AARP Org. that can give you advise or maybe you can contact the council for the aging I think that's the name. I pray that you may gain strength to solve this problem. Remember it's your home.

I use a detailed list for the caregivers and ask them to sit outside on patio when nice weather while my mother sleeps during the day.