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Bronze Conversationalist
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Re: Help!!

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I agree with Jane call in Social Services and get help ASAP and get the help you need for your mom before it gets worse.  I did not realize the TV shows were not that helpful but if not do not use them use Jane's advise and use it soon!  You do not want it to get worse! 

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Regular Social Butterfly
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Re: Help!!

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The office on aging can be found by typing your zip code into www.eldercare.gov. And they'll have experience working with hoarders. Absolutely. In my area, there's a list of companies that have expertise in working with hoarders. One of my clients would only respond to the Adult Protective Services people before he'd give in and let some of the cleaners in. (I'm a hospice social worker.)

 

This is tough and not unique unfortunately. You've probably seen the tv shows about hoarders. Most of them are not using the patient careful techniques that are required. It's more of a ambush kind of thing which makes for better television. I'm so sorry she's gotten to this state. It's more than you can do. Call in the social services. they have experience.

 

keep sharing. what will you do next?

 

jane

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Treasured Social Butterfly
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Re: Help!!

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You might want to check out whatever "Office of Aging" your town, county or state have. Some may have social-worker types, who can go out & check someone (and their home) for safety. You might have to think in terms of what they could suggest, if they decide that your mother's behavior indicates that she's no longer competent to live alone safely.


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Re: Help!!

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You may try explaining the health dangers to her, and what may happen if she doesn't clean things up. You mentioned that hoarding is only part of it, that she is showing abnormal behavior. Is she taking any new medications, having any illnesses or infections? Also you might go through the list of symptoms for Alzheimer's and Dementia and if she shares a lot of those I would suggest taking her to doctor for check up. These are just my suggestions. I have been a caregiver for 9 years and got a certificate in Gerontology so I'm familiar with these sort of things but am in no way a professional adviser. I hope you find this info helpful and get some relief soon.
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Help!!

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My 86 year old mother is a hoarder and thinks I am very disrespectful to try to change her habits and to make her aware of the fact that her house is dirty. She will not listen to me and has been showing behavior that is not normal.. Her home is roach infested and she keeps old meat on the floor!!! I am frustrated and don't know how to change her behavior. I offer to clean her house, she refuses. I have threatened to not eat Christmas dinner there because I am disgusted. What to do? I have no idea.
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