Are you a caregiver? Tell us how you plan your getaway with loved ones for a chance to enter a weekly prize drawing.

Reply
AARP Expert
0
Kudos
30
Views

Re: HELP ! Protecting Mothers Assets. HELP !.

30 Views
Message 1 of 6

For sure!  Everyone should be the captain of their own ship.  My post was to the point that so long as a person has competence and desire to do so, a solid estate and life care plan can protect them, preserve their assets, prevent exploitation, etc. even past the point of a future cognitive decline.   Ideally, we have a plan in place before the point that competence is a question.

 

It can be so beneficial for the caregiver and the care partner to talk in detail about what the care partner's wishes are (either with the attorney/other professional or not).  That way everyone is on the same page and the caregiver will know what the care partner wants and can carry it out.  The best surrogate or agent for you will always be the person who can put their wishes aside and do what YOU would want.  

Amanda Singleton, J.D.
Report Inappropriate Content
0
Kudos
30
Views
Treasured Social Butterfly
1
Kudos
153
Views

Re: HELP ! Protecting Mothers Assets. HELP !.

153 Views
Message 2 of 6

@AmandaSingleton wrote:

Hi Momprotector:  What a difficult issue to reckon with.  I'm sorry that this has happened. 

 

There are a lot more facts I'd like to know if I were the attorney assisting you, but by way of general information to get you on a path forward based on what you wrote: 

 

Many states have laws in place to protect its senior residents.  Elder financial abuse and exploitation are not taken lightly, and often come with higher criminal penalties.  It is very possible that the nephew's actions could expose him to criminal liability.  I can't advise you here, but this may be something to look into further.  I'm sorry to hear of his struggles with addiction and substance abuse.  As you said, without some kind of intervention, reoccurence is likely.  Some considerations:  if there is imminent danger to your mother, 911 is always the first course of action.  If she feels threatened or harrassed by the nephew, her immediate safety is #1.  Theft of any kind should be reported to law enforcement.  You may find helpful information through your state's Adult Protective Services, and any local or state social services agencies.  Your state should also have an elder abuse hotline that you can find through the National Center on Elder Abuse (https://ncea.acl.gov)

 

The bank should be made aware of this situation ASAP, whether it is through the authorities or through you.  Just please know that the bank will probably not speak with you about much detail unless your name is on the account or your mother designated you as her agent.  Which leads me to.... 

 

Has your mother done her life care and estate planning?  Even if a person has cognitive impairment/dementia, they may still have capacity to do legal planning.  For so many reasons, it would be well worth your time to explore this with an attorney who is licensed in the state mom and you live (I'm guessing you live nearby based on your post).   Having a solid designation of an agent in a power of attorney, adjusting how accounts or titled, and making a plan of action for further cognitive decline while the person still has decision-making abilities can make ALL the difference in quality of life, ease of caregiving, and preventing exploitation and abuse. 

 

Your mom is so lucky to have you on her side.  Please keep us posted.

 


This is a very very toucty area!  I would certainly not want my son talking to an attorney about me without me unless it was definite that I could no  longer handle my own affairs and I make sure to have a doctor review yearly.  There are many children who are not responsible adults whose first consideration is not mom..  so be very careful about this area.  If at all possible, both of you should be there for any and all discussions about mom.

 

Has your mother done her life care and estate planning?  Even if a person has cognitive impairment/dementia, they may still have capacity to do legal planning.  For so many reasons, it would be well worth your time to explore this with an attorney who is licensed in the state mom and you live (I'm guessing you live nearby based on your post).   Having a solid designation of an agent in a power of attorney, adjusting how accounts or titled, and making a plan of action for further cognitive decline while the person still has decision-making abilities can make ALL the difference in quality of life, ease of caregiving, and preventing exploitation and abuse. "

Life's a Journey, not a Destination" Aerosmith
Report Inappropriate Content
1
Kudos
153
Views
AARP Expert
1
Kudos
160
Views

Re: HELP ! Protecting Mothers Assets. HELP !.

160 Views
Message 3 of 6

Hi Momprotector:  What a difficult issue to reckon with.  I'm sorry that this has happened. 

 

There are a lot more facts I'd like to know if I were the attorney assisting you, but by way of general information to get you on a path forward based on what you wrote: 

 

Many states have laws in place to protect its senior residents.  Elder financial abuse and exploitation are not taken lightly, and often come with higher criminal penalties.  It is very possible that the nephew's actions could expose him to criminal liability.  I can't advise you here, but this may be something to look into further.  I'm sorry to hear of his struggles with addiction and substance abuse.  As you said, without some kind of intervention, reoccurence is likely.  Some considerations:  if there is imminent danger to your mother, 911 is always the first course of action.  If she feels threatened or harrassed by the nephew, her immediate safety is #1.  Theft of any kind should be reported to law enforcement.  You may find helpful information through your state's Adult Protective Services, and any local or state social services agencies.  Your state should also have an elder abuse hotline that you can find through the National Center on Elder Abuse (https://ncea.acl.gov)

 

The bank should be made aware of this situation ASAP, whether it is through the authorities or through you.  Just please know that the bank will probably not speak with you about much detail unless your name is on the account or your mother designated you as her agent.  Which leads me to.... 

 

Has your mother done her life care and estate planning?  Even if a person has cognitive impairment/dementia, they may still have capacity to do legal planning.  For so many reasons, it would be well worth your time to explore this with an attorney who is licensed in the state mom and you live (I'm guessing you live nearby based on your post).   Having a solid designation of an agent in a power of attorney, adjusting how accounts or titled, and making a plan of action for further cognitive decline while the person still has decision-making abilities can make ALL the difference in quality of life, ease of caregiving, and preventing exploitation and abuse. 

 

Your mom is so lucky to have you on her side.  Please keep us posted.

 

Amanda Singleton, J.D.
Report Inappropriate Content
1
Kudos
160
Views
Treasured Social Butterfly
1
Kudos
178
Views

Re: HELP ! Protecting Mothers Assets. HELP !.

178 Views
Message 4 of 6

@c31866d wrote:

Posting this subject in hopes of receiving input from other care givers.  My mother is 83 and seld admittingly experiencing dementia. Long story short the nephew has knocked on her door and told her that she promised him 10K, drove her to the bank & along side her at the tellers window received the money. I visited her that day and she was very upset explaining she felt pressured and scammed. Next days call she was crying and said she did not get much sleep. I was wondering if any one has some problem solving input for this situation. I am thinking of contacting a bank executive and inquiring as to any assistance to prevent the syphoning off of her accounts. The nepew has a substance abuse problem and I see this as an assured  reoocurring behavior. Please Help if you have remedy advice.  Yours truly   .. Momprotetor


Another in an endless list of people who do not take action when they should.  Your mother should have made sure to have a trusted relative added to her accounts at some point.  We all should. If you have no one then that is another issue.  Now would be the time to do that.  You should also take  your mother to the bank and meet with the bank manager and explain what happened.  If the nephew is a substance abuser than it is doubtful that the money is recoverable but you can prevent it from happening again at the bank.  But does she live alone?  What if he goes to her home and becomes angry when she declines his request for money.  Seems like you have to take a serious look at this situation now!

 

 

 

Life's a Journey, not a Destination" Aerosmith
Report Inappropriate Content
1
Kudos
178
Views
Highlighted
Recognized Social Butterfly
1
Kudos
219
Views

Re: HELP ! Protecting Mothers Assets. HELP !.

219 Views
Message 5 of 6
Contacting the bank sounds like a good idea. Your mother may need to be present as it is her account. You may want to be added to her accounts or she can appoint you as her "Power of Attorney".
Report Inappropriate Content
1
Kudos
219
Views
Info Seeker
1
Kudos
233
Views
5
Replies

HELP ! Protecting Mothers Assets. HELP !.

233 Views
Message 6 of 6

Posting this subject in hopes of receiving input from other care givers.  My mother is 83 and seld admittingly experiencing dementia. Long story short the nephew has knocked on her door and told her that she promised him 10K, drove her to the bank & along side her at the tellers window received the money. I visited her that day and she was very upset explaining she felt pressured and scammed. Next days call she was crying and said she did not get much sleep. I was wondering if any one has some problem solving input for this situation. I am thinking of contacting a bank executive and inquiring as to any assistance to prevent the syphoning off of her accounts. The nepew has a substance abuse problem and I see this as an assured  reoocurring behavior. Please Help if you have remedy advice.  Yours truly   .. Momprotetor

Report Inappropriate Content
1
Kudos
233
Views
5
Replies