Grandparent raising grandchildren - Emotional Support

[rm32032149]

Hey.  I'm a grandma who's raising her 2-year-old granddaughter and I know I'm not alone.  Is anyone else interested in having an online support group that provides emotional support during those times when we're at the end of patience...whether with grandchildren or the parents of the grandchildren...times when we're stretched too thin, frustrated that we can't physically keep up, resentful that our lives have been sort of hyjacked?  Those are some of the tough times but I'm also looking for a community where maybe I can get ideas, share joyful moments, receive and offer advice about stuff that works or doesn't work when raising these little angels.  

If you're interested, let's start a conversation.  Thanks much!

[CathieF634381]

HI 

I've had my granddaughter since 4 days old, she's now 8 going on 20.

were starting to have issues to the point had to put her on meds, very stressful I feel area I live in has no concern for kids, its all about the $$$$$

I changed medical offices due to I was trying to explain the issues, Trying to talk to the Dr.       oh she's a typical 7 yr old, I said NO SHES NOT I've raised  more than one child     this NOT a normal 7 yr old behavior!   Than I called spoke to supervisor of clinic  explaining issues I'm having  and my daughter needs help    all sudden she states you don't need any proof her dx alone  is enough to get her disability.

I'm like excuse me? is that all your facility does push parents off on SSi NOT address the Childs issues to getting better.no wonder these kids have a wrap sheet. I felt insulted!

[SusanM781438]

I am!  We are raising our 5 year old grandson.  He is a delight, but has some special needs and I am lonely, exhausted, and can't find anyone in my area that can relate.  I can't believe there aren't support groups in our churches etc.  

[JaneCares]

Hi Susan! I wish it were easier to find people who 'can relate'. It might take some work to find them but they must be in your community. I am a counselor in the county seat of a rural part of Oregon, with a whopping 2300 people. And among my clients, i have several grandmothers taking care of children who have a variety of issues. One grandmom made a flyer and gave it to the special education teacher to pass out to other moms and grandmothers of 'special' kids, and put together a zoom group (because, covid19). And i agree it would be fabulous if local churches would offer such a group. Perhaps someone in the church would organize one WITH you. What do you think? Do you have the energy to contemplate one of these ideas? All the best to you, sincerely. You thought you were done with childrearing...

[DodieP923215]

I am a single step grandma raising an almost 3 yo little boy.  I'm also the primary caregiver of my 87 Yo mother with Alzheimer's and Parkinson's.  Anyone else in this crazy situation?  I'd love to hear it!  If you know of any support groups for both or either og these situations. I'm very interested  cuz I'm at the end of my rope. thanks in advance

[JaneCares]

That is an intense situation, Dodie, for sure! May i recommend an extremely active facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1353173708169053 for your care of mom. As for grandparenting/parenting your 3 year old, hooo boy. I hope you have the energy of the Energizer Bunny. You might find a resource such as this one for Oregon: https://oregonkinshipnavigator.org/  It lists resources for grandparents raising any children not born of you. I googled "online support groups for grandparents raising grandchildren" and found a whole bunch of stuff. You wanted to have a conversation here, I realize. There's an article from aarp.org on this topic: https://www.aarp.org/relationships/friends-family/info-08-2011/grandfamilies-guide-support.html

I hope other folks will chime in. But, i think there are other resources out there for you and i hope you'll have a little energy to seek the out.

Jane

[anar655924]

I'm a single grandma raising 3 grandchildren looking for whelp to get guardianship for children. I have tempoary POA, but need to get legal custody of them.

[AmandaSingleton]

Greetings, Anar655924:  Following up on Jane's post, I would definitely recommend looking for resources that are particular to your state to begin learning about what the guardianship process entails.  For example, I'm in Florida, and you can read about our guardianship process and look at resources through this link:  

https://www.flcourts.org/Resources-Services/Court-Improvement/Family-Courts/Guardianship

Your state's court system may have similar information on its webpage. 

An attorney who practices guardianship matters may be invaluable to guide you through the process and ensure that it moves as smoothly as possible.  Have you begun reaching out for help outside of our community?  

Thank you, and please know we are wishing you the best of luck!

[JaneCares]

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@anar655924 wrote:

I'm a single grandma raising 3 grandchildren looking for whelp to get guardianship for children. I have tempoary POA, but need to get legal custody of them.

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There are members of this online community who know a lot more than i do, but here are a few thoughts. My guess is that your local Department of Child Welfare, which would be part of the Department of Human Services, would know attorneys in your area who know child guardianship law and could make a referral for you. Also, the state bar society often has a hotline that you can call to ask for expertise in areas of law, like childhood guardianship. For free. You can google your town or county and attorneys for child welfare. If you put simply "guardianship", you may find only lawyers who work with elder guardianship. Any lawyers in your family? Ask advice?  And if you are low income, the Legal Aid Society might take on the case. 

The Legal Services Corporation is a nonprofit (believe it or not), and on the home page there is a box that helps you find Legal Aid near you: www.lsc.gov.  Legal Aid services was established by the federal government. 

I hope this is helpful. Your grandchildren are blessed to have you in their lives. 

Jane

[JaneCares]

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@rm32032149 wrote:

Hey.  I'm a grandma who's raising her 2-year-old granddaughter and I know I'm not alone.  Is anyone else interested in having an online support group that provides emotional support during those times when we're at the end of patience...whether with grandchildren or the parents of the grandchildren...times when we're stretched too thin, frustrated that we can't physically keep up, resentful that our lives have been sort of hyjacked?  Those are some of the tough times but I'm also looking for a community where maybe I can get ideas, share joyful moments, receive and offer advice about stuff that works or doesn't work when raising these little angels.  

If you're interested, let's start a conversation.  Thanks much!

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It's so important, what you are doing for her! i found this on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Grandparents-Raising-Grandchildren-159724844105830/   Are you on facebook?  You can also put a notice up in your community and see if you can get a friendly support group going using, say, the library, or a playground in good weather, so that you all can gather locally and in person....

jane

[MartaB342809]

I AM! husband and I have a 3 year old grandson,who we have helped raise since he was 4months.Daughter died of a pulminary embolism last August.Her ex husband got out of prison last June and we let him live with grandson in house we bought daughter for free for many months & gave him her car to keep grandson close.He moved in his girlfriend & her 5 children plus another felon.Spent a fortune on lawyer, but now have sole custody and evicted the lot from the house.Never know what ex-sil is planning but it's not good. grandson is a livewire who loves pretending to be Elvis & always hungry! trying to follow Positive Discipline techniques with some success.We are both 70.During thi spandemic we hope to find some safe playmates nearby or maybe on line.Thanks for reading, any sujestions welcome!

[MartaB342809]

that page isnt there anymore