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Dementia & Alheimer

I am 80, was a caregiver for my wife who was diagnosed to Dementia 3 years ago and then to Alzheimer. I also had quadruple bypass and now have AFib, figuring I would pass away before her so everything was taking care she would be okay. Took care of living will and POA for both of us (health and financial). Did not care of some of the financials putting both of our names so when she passed away (on St. Patrick's Day this year), our wills were not valid (from NC) in Alabama so all those financials only in her name needed an estate in her name.  This required 6 months to finish everything. I could not find any help in Alabama, only in Mobile, and was unaware of this site. Tried a caregiver business locally for a couple weeks but, after they sent a different person every day, fired them and went to Alacare who were very efficient although at first could not do much for her until she was able to go into hospice. If anyone needs some help going through these diseases, I would answer questions about all I went through. 

Jim

Periodic Contributor

Hello, I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this. Your story is similar to my Grandparents. My Grandmother has been diagnosed with both Dementia and Alheimer last year and my Grandfather has congested heart failure and has to be in oxygen most of the time, plus he has the eye diease, where his sight is very limited.  It kills me to see them like this, they were always more like my parents instead of my Grandparents, since I was the first grandchild and most of my weekends I stayed with them. My Grandfather retired from the Air Force years ago in Melbourne FL and now they just had their licenses taken, which has been so hard on them. But, the home health aide can come help out now since that. 

My Aunt is in the process of making a memory book for my grandmother, with the family's pictures and names etc to help her remember. 

I recently moved up North right after finding out about her health and just wish I could be there for them. She seems to be doing better with the medication that has been prescribed to her, but I know it won't fully help. 

It's so hard to see loved ones go through this. My prayers are with you and your wife. 

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@jw97417694 wrote:

Hello, I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this. Your story is similar to my Grandparents. My Grandmother has been diagnosed with both Dementia and Alheimer last year and my Grandfather has congested heart failure and has to be in oxygen most of the time, plus he has the eye diease, where his sight is very limited.  It kills me to see them like this, they were always more like my parents instead of my Grandparents, since I was the first grandchild and most of my weekends I stayed with them. My Grandfather retired from the Air Force years ago in Melbourne FL and now they just had their licenses taken, which has been so hard on them. But, the home health aide can come help out now since that. 

My Aunt is in the process of making a memory book for my grandmother, with the family's pictures and names etc to help her remember. 

I recently moved up North right after finding out about her health and just wish I could be there for them. She seems to be doing better with the medication that has been prescribed to her, but I know it won't fully help. 

It's so hard to see loved ones go through this. My prayers are with you and your wife. 


Hi there, jw

I believe the post you are responding so kindly to refers to this gentleman's struggles, his learnings, and his willingness to share his experience since his wife has already passed away. Your love for your grandparents is so very clear in your post; how much love you all have shared through your entire life. Since you've moved north and they are still in Florida, do you get to visit much? it would be hard emotionally on you to see them as they are. but at the same time, they would be glad to see you, i would think. And it's a learning for you. As each of us experience the aging challenges of someone we love, we learn about our own choices as we ourselves age. Is there someone closer (in Florida?) who keeps an eye  on them and their care? Perhaps your mom or dad?

     Thank you for writing. Love is so important, and although i wish love DID conquer all things, it certainly makes bad things tolerable.

 

all the best to you and your family,

jane

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