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Re: Caring for my mother - whether she likes it or not

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I have the same interest in this topic since i am already over 55 and have other brothers that together are supporting our mother 82 that is living at an assisted living location.  We have questions concerning the tax status and having to support her.  Because she is at assisted living not a nursing home her status with us is unusual.  Since we are paying for over half of her care can she be treated as a dependant?  The real problem now is we are the elderly baby boomer group and now taking care of the elderly because there is no other resourses.  SSA is not enough to pay for rent at an appartment anymore even in low income housing places will turn her away because ssa income is so low.  where does one turn?
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I'm the mother who someday will need caretaking

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I read and hear so often from people with aging parents who particularly are aging mentally, thus not receptive.  The problems/concerns the adult children have for their parents are overwhelmed because they are at a loss!  As caregivers, you can't convince your parent(s) that foremost they need a physical and mental checkup in order to progress to the next phase of their lives - the ailing parents don't have the capacity to make that decision and probably their best defense is to either ignore or get angry at the suggestion.

I'm a parent who may someday(not too far away) be in a situation where my son could be overwhelmed by decisons he'll want to make on my behalf.  What do I have to have in place to insure that he won't go through this dilemma?  I have a will and references for handling finances,but....  Let's say I have an assisted living place in mind, but what if I don't want to go when the time comes.  Are there health care counselors who would perform at-home counselling?  I bet they'd be more convincing than one's own children.  Do you need some legal document?  Those of you who are struggling with getting your parents the help they need - what's missing?  what do you need to make this happen?
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Caring for my mother - whether she likes it or not

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Hi all,

this is my first post here, and I'll get right to the point. 

My mother -- god bless her, she's over 80 and still hanging in there -- is, I believe suffering from dementia. She'll mix up times of day, think she still works her old job as a medical secretary, and, most distressingly of all, call me at odd hours telling me that her car has been stolen -- despite the fact that sh esold her car over ten years ago when she decided not to renew her license.

The only problem is that she refuses to see a doctor. Everything's fine, she says. She refuses to acknowledge her problem. I want to get your advice: how do I confront my mother, and what strategy should I use to try to get her to admit that she's slipping away? I want to make sure she's safe.
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Caring for my mother - whether she likes it or not

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Message 3 of 4
Hi all,

this is my first post here, and I'll get right to the point. 

My mother -- god bless her, she's over 80 and still hanging in there -- is, I believe suffering from dementia. She'll mix up times of day, think she still works her old job as a medical secretary, and, most distressingly of all, call me at odd hours telling me that her car has been stolen -- despite the fact that sh esold her car over ten years ago when she decided not to renew her license.

The only problem is that she refuses to see a doctor. Everything's fine, she says. She refuses to acknowledge her problem. I want to get your advice: how do I confront my mother, and what strategy should I use to try to get her to admit that she's slipping away? I want to make sure she's safe.
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