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Caregiver advice

 I'm a full-time caregiver for my elderly mother !  I'm at my wits end ! She is depressed sleeps 20 hours a day and take a bath or wash your hair -  even with my assistants- runs out of medications and won't  see your doctor! had a fall last week and it took me 30 minutes to move or three  had a fall last week and it took me 30 minutes to move or three ft! Idk what to do!

please advise

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@p519135s wrote:

 I'm a full-time caregiver for my elderly mother !  I'm at my wits end ! She is depressed sleeps 20 hours a day and take a bath or wash your hair -  even with my assistants- runs out of medications and won't  see your doctor! had a fall last week and it took me 30 minutes to move or three  had a fall last week and it took me 30 minutes to move or three ft! Idk what to do!

please advise


Hi there, p,

I agree with the other post-ers, do tell us more.

One thing you should know: you can call 911 and ask for "manpower" and a pair of hefty firefighters will come and pick up your mother. At least where there is staffed fire stations. Not sure about volunteer. But definitely try. 

 

jane

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I was a volunteer FF/EMT in Upstate New York for 12 years and responded to many Well check calls. If you call the Volunteer company directly, usually they will just send a couple folks out to assist and not dispatch a unit.

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I also was a volunteer FF/EMT, but in central California, and we used to call that a "Pick up and put back". That was even how the 911 dispatcher broadcast it.

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@rb23291231 wrote:

I also was a volunteer FF/EMT, but in central California, and we used to call that a "Pick up and put back". That was even how the 911 dispatcher broadcast it.


Thank you for being a FF/EMT!!!!! I have so much respect for the work you do!!!!

 

In Maryland, we told our hospice patients and families to ask for "Manpower", even though, presumably, a strong woman can pick someone up, too. They'd send two guys, and not the whole apparatus.

 

Thank you !!! (Gushing here)

 

Jane

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Sounds like you are the end of your rope! Hang on!  

 

The first thing I'd do is contact the local area agency on aging and find out if your mother qualifies for any free or sliding fee scale assistance with bathing, housekeeping, respite care so you get a break etc. Go to www.eldercare.gov and put in your zip code to find your local area agency on aging and ask for an assessment. 

 

Also - a few questions:

  • Does your mother have dementia? Stroke? Mental Illness? What are her diagnoses? It sounds like there may be some cognitive deficits and if there is dementia perhaps some support will help.
  • Do you have any help? 
  • Does she live with you?

Let us know how we can help! 

 

Take care, 

Amy Goyer, AARP Family and Caregiving Expert

Honored Social Butterfly

@p519135s - I've been a caregiver multiple times, and it's definitely not easy!

 

It would be very helpful if you shared a little more about your situation .. your respective ages, whether you live together or how far apart you are, a little more about her physical/mental abilities at this point, what sort of medications she's taking (doesn't have to be very detailed) & what her doctor says about the extensive sleeping & depression, and your relationship with her before she required assistance.


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