@RebeccaT810923 wrote:
hi this is something new for me. I have a special needs daughter that lives with us and I have taken care of her all her life. It has been stressful over the years. I have several health issues and I am 63. I am burnt out and need to go off somewhere by myself. My husband is 73 and doesn't understand how I feel. He is getting so I have to tell him what has to be done and he repeats himself. he will not go to a doctor and says nothing is wrong. I am having to think for all of us and its overwhelming at times. I just want to be left alone at times and they don't get it. I put my faith and trust in god to give me the strength to do what I have to do everyday. Anyone else out there that is or has gone threw this?
Hi Rebecca,
I think just about every family caregiver goes through a process of figuring out what you can do yourself, and then reaches a point where you realize you are 'maxed out', stressed, and overwhelmed. Sounds like that's where you are, and since you have health issues (at a young 63 years old!) you might not have the time or energy to take care of YOURSELF. I hear you!
Since your daughter has been disabled for her entire life, i hope you are aware of services that help developmentally disabled people, and that you are being helped by those services. I live in an area so rural it's considered 'frontier' (the county is the size of Connecticut and has only 7500 humans it it. Way more cows!) and even our county has services for people who are disabled. If not, can you take the time (i'm sorry that even researching help falls on YOU) to contact those services and get them to help?
As for your husband, it sounds like he might have the early stages of dementia. He's trying to cover it up, he might not even be aware of it much of the time. Is there ANYTHING wrong with him that he'd be willing to go to the doctor about? Many older men have to pee really often, for example: would he be willing to have his prostate checked? Anytime he has a slight cold, drag him in.
And whether or not he goes to the doctor, is there anyone else he will listen to, since he's not listening to you? Does he have a pastor, and older brother, the sergeant at the local VFW, whom you could enlist in getting him to agree to seek help? And can any other folks help you to help him, mind him, give you a break? Because it surely sounds like you are DESPERATE for a break. Do you have children? Even if they are busy with work and kids, they can also make time to help their parents.
What have you tried? Who is around you who can give you a break? Because you really need one.
Please write more. Hang in there.
Jane