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Re: Are you a male caregiver?

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@JaneCares

Hi Jane,

Thanks for your comments on my post. I had stated to an earlier comment, it's nice to know that we aren't required to be Superman and that we don't hold ourselves to that standard. It's encouraging to know that others are understanding of the difficulties of caregiving and that many others have been have done it and share their experiences here. It helps more than I can say and I wish I'd done this earlier, but at least I'm here now. Thanks again.

 

Joe

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Re: Are you a male caregiver?

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@Melomaniac wrote:

Hi,

 I've been a caregiver for my wife since her diagnosis of pancreatic cancer 4 years ago. Like many of the posts I've read, walking/running/riding are really good stress relievers for me. I like working with my hands, so I get into doing little DIY projects around the house. I also love music, so I spend time playing music and listening to relax. Great question.


Hello Melomaniac. Great handle. Sounds like you really ARE mellow. She's a long term survivor, that wife of yours. Wow. Working with your hands and playing/listening to music are great ways to de-stress since they use different parts of the brain and give you deep satisfaction. My hat's off to you. If i wore a hat.

 

Jane

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Re: Are you a male caregiver? was--wife died 2 month

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Message 3 of 18

Sad for you. Prayers out to you. Try to keep her memory alive in the way you reach others. Focus on doing things that matter, and honoring her. Friends and family will be cornerstone. 

God be with you in this time.

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Re: Are you a male caregiver?

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Message 4 of 18

Hi,

 I've been a caregiver for my wife since her diagnosis of pancreatic cancer 4 years ago. Like many of the posts I've read, walking/running/riding are really good stress relievers for me. I like working with my hands, so I get into doing little DIY projects around the house. I also love music, so I spend time playing music and listening to relax. Great question.

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Re: Are you a male caregiver? was--wife died 2 month

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Message 5 of 18

download mobdro


@JaneCares wrote:

@AlanP183626 wrote:

WIFE DIED TWO MONTHS AGO.- STILL GRIEVING--MARRIED 64 YEARS

 

HAVE NOT BEEN A FAN OF SENIOR CENTERS

HAVE VISITED RECENTLY FOR FIRST  TIME

HAS HELPED ME INTERACT WITH PEOPLE


Two months ago is a very short time ago. Of course you are 'still' grieving. You will grieve for the rest of your life, but hopefully the incredible weight of the grief will lift slowly and steadily. It will take a long time. After the long winter, spring will come again. But you'll always appreciate those 64 years. 

 

Do you have children? A brother or sister? Cousins? Other people you can reach out to? Isolation isn't good, although it's understandable. 

 

So glad you wrote. There is a grief community although it tends to be quiet: aarp.org/griefcommunity.

 

Keep writing us? What do you enjoy doing, even though right now it feels like the enjoyment has all but drained away...

 

Jane


Handling Personal Care with Dignity. Sometimes families feel Mom would be more comfortable with a male caregiver for personal care. Whether a male caregiver or female, a well-trained caregiver ensures all personal care is provided in a safe, comfortable and dignified manner.

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Re: Are you a male caregiver? was--wife died 2 month

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@AlanP183626 wrote:

WIFE DIED TWO MONTHS AGO.- STILL GRIEVING--MARRIED 64 YEARS

 

HAVE NOT BEEN A FAN OF SENIOR CENTERS

HAVE VISITED RECENTLY FOR FIRST  TIME

HAS HELPED ME INTERACT WITH PEOPLE


Two months ago is a very short time ago. Of course you are 'still' grieving. You will grieve for the rest of your life, but hopefully the incredible weight of the grief will lift slowly and steadily. It will take a long time. After the long winter, spring will come again. But you'll always appreciate those 64 years. 

 

Do you have children? A brother or sister? Cousins? Other people you can reach out to? Isolation isn't good, although it's understandable. 

 

So glad you wrote. There is a grief community although it tends to be quiet: aarp.org/griefcommunity.

 

Keep writing us? What do you enjoy doing, even though right now it feels like the enjoyment has all but drained away...

 

Jane

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Re: social life

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Message 7 of 18

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR COMMENTS.

I JUST MISS HER SO MUCH

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Re: social life

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Is more important than we think. family is good, but sometimes it’s like canned laughter. they know how to respond. You know what to expect for the most part.

So sorry to read of your wife’s passing, 64 years is a looong stretch. 

social life isn’t a crime and shouldnt be a chore. 

Don’t isolate yourself, then Depression sets in. 

If you only go for a meal, you’re missing the point. 

Share your interest and listen to others. It’s not all about you.

 

TC Daniel
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Re: Are you a male caregiver? was--wife died 2 month

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WIFE DIED TWO MONTHS AGO.- STILL GRIEVING--MARRIED 64 YEARS

 

HAVE NOT BEEN A FAN OF SENIOR CENTERS

HAVE VISITED RECENTLY FOR FIRST  TIME

HAS HELPED ME INTERACT WITH PEOPLE

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Re: Are you a male caregiver?

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Message 10 of 18

Just a thought as you consider SNFs. You know a whole lot about your options already. But have you talked to "A Place for Mom"?  They are knowledgeable and quite wonderful, they really know the various settings. With her need for psychiatric support, it will be tricky, and since she sounds pretty picky and difficult in general, a good match may be elusive. But how nice it would be for you to visit her instead of live with her. Perhaps i'm wrong here. But she sounds like a challenge. Anyway, carry on and thanks so much for responding. we all learn from each other. keep us posted!

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