Reply
Periodic Contributor

Acceptance

How do you learn to accept instead of being surprised and shocked when a newly diagnosed spouse is asking the same things over and over. I am fearful and sometimes angry and upset with myself.  I think I am in denial.  I actually have experience dealing with people with alzheimers and dementia but never a spouse who is newly diagnosed with mild dementia. It is very scary.

AARP Expert

Oh dear. This is so very hard, scary as you say, and also heartbreaking. Denial is protective. It eases as you accept. If Denial isn't keeping you from doing something important, there's no harm in it. Is there a caregiving support group near you, either sponsored by the Alzheimers Association or some other group? Listening to other 'well spouses' might help. Now that most everything is on zoom or some other platform, you can 'go' to a support group anywhere! There are also some excellent dramatic movies that are streaming these days. When I googled 'good movies for alzheimer's' there were a number of suggestions: https://alz.org.sg/5-unforgettable-films-about-dementia-you-need-to-watch/ is just one. 

 

Surprised, shocked, fearful, angry. I'd be patient with yourself. This is a HUGE change. There are books, groups, movies. And your own wisdom. I would find a good therapist and even once a month sessions will help you learn how to be compassionate with yourself AND with your spouse. I am sorry. And you will learn so much. Not that you ever wanted to learn these particular coping strategies...  

Periodic Contributor

Thank you so much for your reply.  I have seen some AARP movies dealing with this. I am praying for acceptance.  Just doing this is my first step toward this.  I have a wonderful Therapist that is helping me and has known us for a long time.  I so appreciate your feedback.  This is a crazy world, without this.  I will ckeck into the link you gave me.  Thank you!

cancel
Showing results for 
Show  only  | Search instead for 
Did you mean: 
Users
Announcements

To our Online Community Members,

We wanted to let you know that our Community Guidelines and Terms of Service have been updated. The changes are intended to foster more civil discussions in AARP’s online communities. The issues discussed in these communities – including healthcare, retirement and politics – are serious and stir up strong emotions. We should have spirited debates about all of them, but those debates should always be respectful, on topic and fact based. We will be applying these standards in our online communities as we work together, with all of you, to address the challenges that face older Americans. Thank you.


AARP Membership Flash Sale

AARP Members Only Games

Throw it back and play Atari's Missile Command. Grab your arsenal to neutralize your enemy and protect your cities from a missile attack. You got this!

AARP Games Atari Missile Command

Your Daily Puzzle

Enjoy our interactive brain-teasers and treat yourself to some mental gymnastics. Try one today.

Your Daily Puzzle