I took care of my partner Karen. She was 41 when she got diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis(MS). When I met her in May 2013 she was 42 and wheelchair bound. I was an aid when I met her. She stole my heart and I quite my job to take care of her. Didn’t have an income myself for six months after quieting. Then I was blessed she was able to have a paid caregiver, and I was able to get paid to take care of her. I got paid to take care of her 56-66 hours a week, but as a caregiver you work around the clock for your loved one. We were together day and night. Karen took a lot of help. She needed help with bathing, dressing, transfers, reminding, and sometimes eating. I did all the house work, paying bills, and taking care of our dogs. Karen was in extreme pain daily. She also had seizures. She had good days and bad days. A good day consisted of going to Meijer to get sports cards. She loved to collect sports cards. A bad day consisted of her losing feeling from the waist down, and not being able to move. We could never really make plans because we had to see what each day would bring. A handicap van did help with travels. On cool days we would escape and go fishing, but only at places that were handicap accessible. That was the main key in everything. We could only go to places that had a wheelchair ramp, wide spaces inside for a wheelchair, and a handicap restroom. It was very hard for her to accept that she couldn’t do what she used too before getting her disease. In the summertime we had to stay in a lot, because of her meds and the heat. We watched movies, played with dogs, and sorted sports cards.
Instead of planning vacations we had to plan doctors appointments. We were always going to doctors appointments in and out of town. She had physical therapy three times a week since she was diagnosed with MS. I never really had time for myself. Rarely went anywhere alone, because she needed constant care.
In November 2016 Karen went to sleep and never woke up. It was devistating I lost my soulmate, my job, and my income all at once. I will never regret the time that I got to spend with Karen, even though it wasn’t always easy it will always be worth it. We had our faith to keep us moving. A couple months later I went into home health and I’m a caregiver still today.
Some advice I would like to offer is to never take the time you have with the person for granted. Remember you are making a difference even when you don’t feel like it. We have our bad days too, and that’s okay we are human. We just need to find a different way to cope. I would listen to music while doing things. Watching your loved one suffer is horrible, but you being there giving all you can helps them push through. We don’t all have people who can step in and help with our loved one, but if you do it’s okay to ask for help. Thanks for reading.
God Bless! Shanon
