Join Dr. Catherine Alicia Georges and Amy Goyer at 10:15 a.m. ET Wednesday for an AARP telephone town hall on family caregiving issues. Register here.

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Re: AARP Caregiving Summer Break Contest

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Message 131 of 1,088

My name is Tia, and I am 31 years old, and care for my elderly mother, Irene, who just turned 60 in December. She is living on her own in a senior apartment, ran by the Sisters of St. Joseph.

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Re: AARP Caregiving Summer Break Contest

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Message 132 of 1,088

I monitor behavior, moods, discomfort and eating.  Each day is different but I have programs and activities for him trying to see what is a good fit is my focus now and wanting to keep him safe and as happy as possible.

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Re: AARP Caregiving Summer Break Contest

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Message 133 of 1,088

I much need a break, so much going on. I never get time for myself, I am always tending to others needs. I would welcome a much need vacation to somewhere quiet and serene.

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Re: AARP Caregiving Summer Break Contest

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Hi, my name is Lucille, I am  78 years old and TOTAL caregiver for my 90 year old husband Morty. My husband was diagnosed with Dementia, Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s Five years ago. 

At that time we decided to move to the Country across from our Daughter.

It was a wise move. As the weeks go by I find it increasingly more challenging . 

THE AGRESSION  increases by the day, the demands, the constant questioning, I realize he feels lost, so to make our journey a little easier, I continually tell him how much we all love him and how special he is. I also take him for a surprise ride and eat out or just get an ice cream or his favorite Vanilla Milkshake. I kid around to make him laugh, he loves it!

We really enjoy our Grandchildren and Great Grandchildren’s visits, 22 of them,  such joy to our hearts. We enjoy watching the Birds and Squirrels from our back door.

we pray daily and know that our Lord keeps us and protects us as we journey through our last mile.

God Bless each of you!

Lucille Morton

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Re: AARP Caregiving Summer Break Contest

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Message 135 of 1,088

A lot of individuals would think taking an elderly person on a vacation is a burden. I consider it the best! I took my mom to Cancun, Mexico and we went to the spa, I'm only glad she had time to relax considering that she is always sitting at her house, not really getting out too much. 

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Re: AARP Caregiving Summer Break Contest

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Message 136 of 1,088

Possibilities

I prefer movies.
I prefer cats.
I prefer the oaks along the Warta.
I prefer Dickens to Dostoyevsky.
I prefer myself liking people
to myself loving mankind.
I prefer keeping a needle and thread on hand, just in case.
I prefer the color green.
I prefer not to maintain
that reason is to blame for everything.
I prefer exceptions.
I prefer to leave early.
I prefer talking to doctors about something else.
I prefer the old fine-lined illustrations.
I prefer the absurdity of writing poems
to the absurdity of not writing poems.
I prefer, where love's concerned, nonspecific anniversaries
that can be celebrated every day.
I prefer moralists
who promise me nothing.
I prefer cunning kindness to the over-trustful kind.
I prefer the earth in civvies.
I prefer conquered to conquering countries.
I prefer having some reservations.
I prefer the hell of chaos to the hell of order.
I prefer Grimms' fairy tales to the newspapers' front pages.
I prefer leaves without flowers to flowers without leaves.
I prefer dogs with uncropped tails.
I prefer light eyes, since mine are dark.
I prefer desk drawers.
I prefer many things that I haven't mentioned here
to many things I've also left unsaid.
I prefer zeroes on the loose
to those lined up behind a cipher.
I prefer the time of insects to the time of stars.
I prefer to knock on wood.
I prefer not to ask how much longer and when.
I prefer keeping in mind even the possibility
that existence has its own reason for being.

 

By Wislawa Szymborska

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Re: AARP Caregiving Summer Break Contest

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Message 137 of 1,088

     My late husband had lung cancer. It progressed fairly rapidly & he made the choice to not seek agressive treatment but to primarily concentrate on comfort care. One thing that Dan & I had always enjoyed doing together was visiting our local state fair. It's not a huge one, but very friendly & down to earth. We eventually got him a 3 wheeled cart to ride but the first time we went to the fair in late August we just rented a wheelchair at the fair. I have severe chronic physical pain & it was a challenge to help Dan while not letting him think I was having a difficult time. I couldn't show any signs of having increased pain or he would feel terrible.  I was able to push him in the wheelchair reasonably ok while on level ground but there were also short hills. One thing about fairs however, is that there are lots of distractions & places to stop & rest under the guise of watching & appreciating new displays.

 

       We had customary places that we both enjoyed each year. We shared food treats & each enjoyed something that the other didn't really care for. A large part of enjoying any state fair of course are the "fair foods".... stuff a person ordinarily wouldn't eat. 

 

         A big part of the escape of the fair for us was just that, the escape. Finding ongoing enjoyment & events remembered from previous years.

       The last year we enjoyed it together was just plain fun. Kind of stressful physically for both of us but still achievable. Memories I still have.

 

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Re: AARP Caregiving Summer Break Contest

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Message 138 of 1,088

i like to share my experience.My mother is a diabetics patient.So food taking should be in control because low sugar containing food is allowed to her.Excercise should be a daily routine for maintaining blood sugar level and also necessary medicines are taken.

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Re: AARP Caregiving Summer Break Contest

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Message 139 of 1,088
caregiver here!
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Re: AARP Caregiving Summer Break Contest

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Message 140 of 1,088

@groovyghosty Your Mom is so lucky to have you! I can identify with the way you are caring for her, your optimistic attitude, and your ability to appreciate the positive things she can still do.  You are helping her so much with that! I cared for my Dad for about 12 years, starting when Alzheimer’s was just barely barely beginning. All the way through complete personal care. He passed just two months ago and I miss him terribly.  He was 94, at home living with me and still walking some, and I feel really good about that as I’m sure you do too. Just a few weeks before he died he called me his daughter – you know how that makes our heart sing. The last really clear thing he said to me before he died was “thank you”. That love, the security and safety he felt, all of that is what really matters. 

 

You might like my latest column In which I talk about his end-of-life care and keeping him comfortable and loved.  

 

AARP has great information to help  care for love ones at home. Click here for the section of the AARP Family Caregiving site  that has great tips and tools.  I also have a chapter in my book about taking care of loved ones at home. (See the link below.)  I also have a coloring book out! Perhaps you and your mom would enjoy coloring it together. AARP also has a brand new book out that is a memory activity book for those who have dementia. It might give you some good ideas of things to do with your mom! You can find all of AARP‘s caregiving books at www.aarp.org/caregivingbooks. 

 

Sending you a big hug and good energy! I hope  some of these resources are helpful to you. I know you have sacrificed to care for your Mom but I can tell you now that my Mom and Dad have both passed on that you will not have regrets for all you are doing for your mom. Give her a hug and a kiss for me. 😊

 

Take care,

Amy Goyer, AARP Family & Caregiving Expert

Author, Juggling Life Work and Caregiving 

 

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