3 things:

Well my mom came to me in Jan 2013.  Out of 8 children I was the best candidate picked by God to be the caregiver for mother dear with diabetes, CHF, Alzheiemers etc.  

Sweet mama stayed almost 5 yrs.  in my care.  She just passed away 22 Nov 2017.  

1:  The first thing I did was to accept the duty/responsibility given to me and accepted it with 100% dedication even if it’s for 10 yrs or more.  Didn’t worry about how and what kind of road is ahead.  Where is money coming from etc. 

My mom had so many blessings that all 5 sisters got together at least twice/yr. and support was awesome.  I did work through an agency for Mom which was only few hours but my resume did not have a gap.  

2:  Second thing we sisters had learned not to argue or reason with her because it only made things worse.  Just go along with her story.  

Everyday about 3pm she wanted her shoes to go home.  Had all her things sitting on top of her walker and screaming, Mark (my husband) take me home.  We would get ready, get her in the car and go for a ride, come back home and she would calm down.  Never found out where home is. I told Mark to reply same every time “tomorrow Mom”

One day she said, “you say that every day”

3:  Third thing is take care of the caregiver: I’m not saying I obeyed all my rules and didn’t fall of the wagon.  I did get angry and upset last year when things got very difficult.  

I did realize it.  I started going to psychotherapy and started taking antidepressants which helped.  

Mom had stroke last year and we thought it was the end.  She came around though. Roombound.  Then more strokes and became bedridden.  

Lost her speech. She mumbled/garbled but we answered in a way so she thinks we understand. Puréed food, thickened liquids, and you name it, total care. I couldn’t have done it without Mark. They loved each other. Rough road in the beginning though. She was on his case constantly.
The decline of her health was gradual. We did whatever to keep her comfortable. I made sure she got bathed, groomed and sat in chair for few hours every day even with hoyer lift.
Last couple of days stopped giving a smile for me.
Her wish was to be buried by her husband in NJ. So French’s funeral home took care of all that. I got to ride in the same plane with Mom to NJ. My buddy, my child left me but she’s happy with daddy.
I think this is enough.


0 Kudos

Oh, and a recommendation for bedridden patients’ peri care:

chux(disposable bed pads), plants watering can(small one).

get warm water pour over the skin, use mild body wash, pat dry with towel.  Completely dry before applying Vaseline or barrier cream (alternating the two works good).

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