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Regular Contributor

What's the worst thing about getting old?

From losing one's memory, eyesight, hearing, digestion, mobility, et al- aging is a depressing phenomena that hits us all and the costs gets prohibitive! 

 

What is the worst thing about age and what can we change to make it better?

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Trusted Contributor

I agree and add incontinence IBS cannot eat what you like  

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Super Contributor

I've done it. On my own. Watched my car loaded onto a flatbed and hauled away. It's strictly RTD for me now. No vision problems but could see the writing on the wall.
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Conversationalist

I am a healthy 72 years old.  I have a lot of friends who are much older than me (85-95!) and I love them dearly.  The hard part of aging is knowing that I will be losing these people, as they are having health issues.  In this day of living longer, the sad part is losing friends and relatives.  Do I want to live to be 100 and be alone?  I try to keep in touch with everyone or see them whenever I can.  The important thing to remember is to live each day to its fullest because we know that time is not on our side.

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Periodic Contributor

Losing friends and family is hard but part of life, remember they live on in your memories, so live long that their memories live long also. 

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Periodic Contributor

As much as I hate the aches, the sagging body etc, it hurts that family look at you as though you are no longer a valid member of society, the worst thing is being ignored, and considered to have no valid input.

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Contributor

I totally agree, Mazzarano! Aches and saggy body are bad, but the way the family looks at and treats us is very hurtful. We still have our mind and thoughts and feelings. Just because we are not "hip" and "with it",
doesn't mean we don't have experience, wisdom and feelings.
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Contributor

I have to agree with one of the comments. I feel that family looks at me as too old to do the things that they enjoy doing.It hurts to not be included in "all the reindeer games" . My daughter and I went to my little great nephews baseball game and he said, where's the family, when I said, we are your family, it wasn't enough. I know he was just a little kid, but what he said, to me meant "I " wasn't enough.

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Contributor

I get scared when I hear about "living to 100" as a goal, when my reality is hoping that my financial situation will keep me living day to day! I'm 71 and do have chronic disability due to MS, plus other health matters cropping up as I age. I personally would like to focus on affordable housing and health care, including in-home services, in the present time, as opposed to stretching the odds for another 30 years. 

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Contributor

Being invisible to much of the rest of the population!  Physical changes are inevitable but I'm shocked by how I'm not "seen" anymore.

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Social Butterfly

It's not being SEEN

I recently moved and attended a neighbor gathering.  

My past-life career required me to attend cocktail parties, reception so I learned to initiate conversations.  But, at this event, no one tried to talk to me so I introduced myself repeatedly. and people quickly moved on. 

I took a glass of wine...went to a corner watch and listened.  They talked about TV shows,

Makeup, innocuous topics;  I thought you don't know what you're missing, I am interesting. I raised 4 children and attended Harvard when few women did; I was an Executive when few women were.  I lobbied for the Arts and women's rights.  I'm not ugly, I'm well-groomed; have all my teeth and body parts.  I don't have bad breath,  I use deodorants, I dress stylish.  The question is: Why do they not want to chat? The answer must be: Your OLD.

SO THIS IS WHAT DISCRIMINATION FEELS LIKE!

 

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Super Contributor


@mimi0000 wrote:

It's not being SEEN

I recently moved and attended a neighbor gathering.  

My past-life career required me to attend cocktail parties, reception so I learned to initiate conversations.  But, at this event, no one tried to talk to me so I introduced myself repeatedly. and people quickly moved on. 

I took a glass of wine...went to a corner watch and listened.  They talked about TV shows,

Makeup, innocuous topics;  I thought you don't know what you're missing, I am interesting. I raised 4 children and attended Harvard when few women did; I was an Executive when few women were.  I lobbied for the Arts and women's rights.  I'm not ugly, I'm well-groomed; have all my teeth and body parts.  I don't have bad breath,  I use deodorants, I dress stylish.  The question is: Why do they not want to chat? The answer must be: Your OLD.

SO THIS IS WHAT DISCRIMINATION FEELS LIKE!

 


It's their loss!  I've had similar experiences but with my own family.  I've had some unique life changing experiences while they've never left the small town we grew up in.  They're not interested in anything beyond their own front door.  Makes me sad I can't share my life with them.

Kathleen Molnar
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Contributor

I've also found this to be true.  Even with a Cane, folks run or rush past me, cutting me off and it's difficult to stop without jolting the entire body.  Same happens with shopping carts.  I've been pushed aside while looking at food shelves in the grocer by a woman 30 to 40  years younger so she could get something off the shelf.  Perhaps is just our society is in such a rush or have not been taught manners.  I'm 79, brought up knowing to respect, give up a seat on Busses, open doors, allow elder to pass.  It's my time now and it doesn't exist.

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Contributor

In my community I rarely see elders treated this way. If they are crossing in front of me or coming to a door I always tell them to take their time. However, I do not shop at WMT or the like.

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Contributor

I would say that the skin changes bother me the most. When I was young, I would think that would never happen to me and it did anyway. I look young and feel young most of the time but the inevitable dermatological issues are there.e.g eyelids strting to droop a little, some brown spots etc.

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Gold Conversationalist

I think the worst thing is knowing our bodies will deteriorate significantly as we age.  It is scarey facing the future and the probability that pain and suffering lies ahead.   I can only hope science will continue to discover ways to help humans live healthy lives.  Stopping or reversing the aging process would be an amazing feat but I don't think it will happen in my lifetime.

 


@4176jp wrote:

From losing one's memory, eyesight, hearing, digestion, mobility, et al- aging is a depressing phenomena that hits us all and the costs gets prohibitive! 

 

What is the worst thing about age and what can we change to make it better?


 

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Periodic Contributor

The worst part would be not having the opportunity to grow old, so many don't!

So with graditude I look forward to having the opportunity!

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Periodic Contributor

Thanks, I lose sight of this every once in a while when things aren't going well and I get scared.
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Periodic Contributor

My father used to say " Never regret growing older, many were denied the privilege ." However, I'm a few months away from 70 yrs old and when I was younger I raised 3 sons by myself worked and went to school. There were times when we had very little to eat but we made it and t&t&e all graduated high school and never had problems with police , drinking,  smoking or any trouble. I thought I was so blessed,  but they all married and that was the end of me. My middle son was closer to me but committed suicide at the age of 30....the other two don't have time for me and I'm in a wheelchair and alone ..they live near by,  but I'm lucky if I see them once or twice a year. .the worse thing about getting old is loneliness and bad health. ...an old saying I have is "One mother can raise 10 kids but, 10 kids can't help one mother. God help us all.

 

 

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Periodic Contributor

I'm so very sorry.  It's scary to be alone as you get older.

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Trusted Contributor

Very, even this web site takes so long to load but perhaps I got accustimed to instant Smiley Wink

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Periodic Contributor

The worst thing about getting older to me is that some of the younger generation take it for granted that because you are older, you can no longer think or figure out anything; that you are going into your second  childhood.  That doesn't really bother me to the point that I worry about it because I love the fact that when I open my mouth to get a point across, there is this surprised look.  I am still determined as I were when I was a teenager and I accept that the body gets old and that I can work with too.  Some male is always trying to get my attention, but having been without my late husband for 24 years, I take it with a grain of salt and I'll know when the right man comes along.  All-in-all, I am taking getting older in stride and being happy is my priority because nothing or no one lives forever.  .  

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