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Regular Contributor

We all have regrets-If you had a Do-Over what would that be?

My greatest wish if I had a Do-Over would be to get back that last week I had with my husband. I   clung to the hope that he was going to get better with many more years to enjoy- but it was my will against his failing health, and in a flash he had passed!

 

We all have to go sometime, and cannot get back even that last second after its gone.  But he left behind a circle of life and a legacy of precious children and grandchildren for me to enjoy. That is my peace to endure!

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Gold Conversationalist

If I knew then what I know now I would not have wasted so much TIME foolishly.  I was extremely fortunate to have been raised by wonderful parents but I never really understood the true importance of family.   I never imagined how lonely life would be without the people who made my life so happy.  A loving FAMILY is everything!

 


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Periodic Contributor

Looking back, I would have kept going to Church when got to be a teenager and beyond. Most of all I would have prayed to God on all decisions, read and studied the Bible and prayed for God to lead me in His will for my life. If so, maybe wouldn't be on 3rd husband and have health and depression problems and deal with anxiety on daily basis.

 

SJ Marvin

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Contributor

If I could do anything over it would be to never take that first drink. Almost every failure, humiliation, lost relationship,  and my failing health and fractured dignity have happened because of my drinking habits.

 

Janet

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Periodic Contributor

Janet- Please remember yesterday is gone and what you do today and in the future are what matter. With help that I hope you are getting, even though some days are hard, don't beat yourself up over the past. Now, I need to take my advice and do the same. I pray for both of us. Be strong!

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Regular Social Butterfly


@SharonM994442 wrote:

Janet- Please remember yesterday is gone and what you do today and in the future are what matter. With help that I hope you are getting, even though some days are hard, don't beat yourself up over the past. Now, I need to take my advice and do the same. I pray for both of us. Be strong!


 

 

 

Nice @SharonM994442 . Like the song goes...."get by with a little help with my friends". We all need some support and love to survive in such a difficult world!

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Periodic Contributor

It's good that you can realize that. Sorry for what that 1 drink did to your life.

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I wish I had taken more chances and stepped out of my comfort zone when I was younger. Luckily I recognized this when my kids were young and pushed them to try new things. Now they are able to enjoy life more than I did.  I also wish I had taken more outings with my kids when they were young instead of waiting for my husband who always put work before his family.

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I would have insisted the family call in Hospice a lot sooner for my dad. Instead of better pain management the last few months of his life, the nurse was there less than 48 hours before he died. 

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Periodic Contributor

I'm so sorry to hear that. I had that happen with Hospice and my mom. Thankfully lesson learned my dad got long-term insurance. What a difference the care we got then the CNA was there for after death details.

 

It's a scary thought for myself one day as I make my estate plans in case of the unexpected loss of life or illness.

 

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Periodic Contributor

I would'nt have started my Early Learning Child Care. Even though I've been blessed to provide the service to many people in the last 28yrs the up and down income of self-employment has made it hard to set up retirement. The 14hrs 5 days and then even on the weekend there are things that I have to do for work. 

 

Also the way people, banks and now employers have expressed it is "babysitter". I have to correct them I'm a small business owner. Now when changes are coming to state regulations are making it harder to afford to keep going I am finding out how it impacts. It's hard to know where to start looking for new career at 54 and people not seeing all I can provide. Even where to start looking so I don't get phony job postings.

 

I don't regret all the years, because I've seen many successes that children have had and parents who appreciate me for always being there for them. 

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Regular Social Butterfly


@TerriS307074 wrote:

I would'nt have started my Early Learning Child Care. Even though I've been blessed to provide the service to many people in the last 28yrs the up and down income of self-employment has made it hard to set up retirement. The 14hrs 5 days and then even on the weekend there are things that I have to do for work. 

 

Also the way people, banks and now employers have expressed it is "babysitter". I have to correct them I'm a small business owner. Now when changes are coming to state regulations are making it harder to afford to keep going I am finding out how it impacts. It's hard to know where to start looking for new career at 54 and people not seeing all I can provide. Even where to start looking so I don't get phony job postings.

 

I don't regret all the years, because I've seen many successes that children have had and parents who appreciate me for always being there for them. 


I can totally relate to the self-employment point. Also, sacrifice a career to be a stay-at-home parent raising the children and taking care of the household seems like people want to categorize you into a "useless" area. People have no understanding of the commitment and dedicated hard work it is to be self-employeed for many years. Good luck with the career shift at mid-life ages!

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Periodic Contributor

Thank you .
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Periodic Contributor

Thank you. I appreciate stay at home parents or should we say it in what I see is the professional way it's been done in some resumes. Household Management. I give Kuddos to those parents who admit they can't handle the all day at home lifestyle as well as those like my daughter who just had a baby last month want's to be able to do that. Cost of living so high now she and her husband have worked it so financially she will only need to work part time.

 

If I was do have done something else I would've completed my business degree, getting divorced and becoming a single parent didn't allow for that. So my other would've been to work as an office managager or customer service for a company. I have a desire to help others.

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Gold Conversationalist

I would do boxers rather than briefs!

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Newbie

If I had a Do-Over. I would have taken better care of myself. I lost precious time with my 2 boys and husband and dogs. I had 5 major strokes and all most died. My husband was going to take care of me. He ended up passing away on the job of a massive annorism. So thank God I survived and fought my way back. My boys would be without 2 parents. I miss my husband every Day. The only thing that is wrong with me since the strokes is short term memory and I walk a little slower up and down steps. I drive short distances and clean the house and cook and take care of my family as best as I can. I don't work cause of my short term memory. My brother is my power of attorney.. He pays my bills cause I have a hard time doing that. So yes I wish I had a Do-Over.

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Regular Contributor

I would never let Ambrose be in charge! EVER!!

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Although it was necessary, I would work less when my children were young and growing up,  I missed everything and regret it, now as adults they have nothing to do with me and blame me for missing them growing up, bad scene.

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Newbie

A question I've pondered many times in the 45+ years since I've achieved independent sentience.

 

Today, it would be a return to 2015 when she told me she had been experiencing symptoms that could be IBS, could be Krohns, but might be cancer. Colon cancer killed her 3 years later. 

So, I would return to that moment in 2015 and even if I had to hogtie her and drag her kicking and screaming, I'd get her to a doctor for a proper diagnosis and treatment.

Against that, all the prior woulda-coulda-shoulda pipe dreams are pap.

Obligatory note:
If there is a Florida-qualified lawyer who is willing to take a long shot on a medical malpractice lawsuit, against the first of two oncologists (different clinics), pm me at: r pl us k media at gmail - remove the spaces and add the suffix. That quack runs a chemo mill where patients are treated with oxaliplatin but there is no hot water in the patient restrooms - the hot water plumbing is missing under the sink. That's the tip of an iceberg. Even if I receive nothing monetarily, he needs to be kick-banned from the business. I just need an attorney who will take the case.

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Trusted Contributor

Pondering the question – what would I do over - I came up with a long list only to realize that for all the peaks and valleys, every one of my experiences has contributed to who I am today. Yes, I wish my husband who died prematurely was still here. We were sailors, hikers, bikers, kayakers and more. One of my greatest accomplishments was being a mom to two really great kids (ages 48 and 49) who are successful and happy in their lives. Being present at the birth of my only grandchild was a blessing. The doctor handed him to me and I immediately sang his first lullaby. He’s 27 now and we’re still “besties.”

 

Through hard work and determination, I earned academic degrees (all in night school) in business, economics and counseling education, although I’ve thought several times throughout my life that I wish I had gone to nursing school. In small ways, I have satisfied my passion to help others as a Red Cross volunteer and by donating time and energy to local hospitals and long term care facilities. I also provide pro bono academic tutoring for all ages. In my spare time, I work with new authors to get their books published and on bookshelves everywhere.

 

So, this almost 74 year old has no regrets. There’s nothing I’d do over. I am content to just keep going -- doing more --  and for a long time to come.

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I definitely would not have married my 2nd husband - so wrong on so many levels!  Smiley Wink

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Newbie

Mulligans can result in a false sense of achievement...Rather than focusing on DO-OVER, I'd rather focus on no DO-AGAIN...

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Social Butterfly

At 20 I did not know myself well and did not know what to look for in a husband.  We raised a family and got along ok but as time went by it was obvious much was missing but we pretended to be a happy couple until our sixties when it all fell apart.  

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Regular Contributor

Mimi, I hope you found happiness!  You certainly deserve it.

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Bronze Conversationalist

After we had our first child and were considering a second, there were many stories in the news saying that if you already had a child and were contemplating a second, to please consider adoption.  That was in the early 1960s when birth control was 'iffy' at best, if it was used at all.  Many of these young women were giving up their newborns for adoption.  My husband and I didn't even have to think about it - we called the social services department and registered.  We were told to call our obstetrician who would have patients giving up their babies.  We passed inspection with the social services department and were put on a list.  Less than a month later we got a call from our obstetrician's office - three patients would be giving birth soon.  Would we like to have one of the babies.  I told the nurse that we'd take the first one.  Not a week later we got an early evening call.  Our baby boy was born today, he was healthy and we could pick him up the next day.  We did!  Neighbors stayed with our older son, not only to help us, but everyone wanted to see our new baby.  He was gorgeous - red hair, blue eyes, rosy cheeks.  When we brough him into the house our 20-month old son announced to everyone "this is my new baby 'brudder'!"  Also, in those days when a baby was given up by the birth mother, she wasn't allowed to remain in the baby's life, and my name was put on the birth certificate.   My son is now 55 years old, knows the whole story, and still considers us his "real" and only parents.

 

So what would I have done differently?  I wouldn't have stoped at adopting one child.  I wish we'd adopted two more.  However, fast forward many years, and my adopted son married a women who had a 7 year old daughter.  He adopted the daughter!  She's now 26 years old and my only grandchild, as they didn't have more children and my older son isn't married.  So I got my girl after all!!

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Periodic Contributor

I would have picked my parents better.

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