Longing for love from my father and feeling like I was unloved made it difficult to talk to my dad without breaking out in tears. My mom and step father raised me, while my dad and his wife raised a new family. When I was grown the company I worked for had a reduction in work force and I was left without a job after working there 20 years. My father owned a company and I went to him and asked him if I could work for him, his reply to me was, "not even if you were starving". A week later he called me and told me to come in to work. While working for my dad, I endured remarks that felt like a knife to my heart and more feelings of being unloved. Whenever I confronted him about his remarks his reply to me was, "I'm toughing you up". This went on for 7 years and would of went on longer if my father's company had not gone out of business. My father left the county and I found a new job and we went on with our lives apart. Last month my dad came to the states for a month he invited me to go out and eat with him. I found it easy to talk to him with no tears and was comfortable around him and for the first time it felt like my father loved me. I asked him about his phrase, "I'm toughing you up" when he said mean things to me and his reply to me was, "It worked didn't it?" I laughed and said no, it made me weak. My dad deserved a break from the resentment I had built up inside me and I gave him that break with forgiveness. Now my father deserves a break because he's no longer trying to make me tough, but making me feel loved instead.
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