topic Re: Where to begin... in Grief & Loss

Where to begin...

WalkingWoman — Thu, 07 May 2026 14:19:21 GMT

Three adult stepchildren were pushing for burial of their father's ashes last winter. I was dealing with taxes, estate, paperwork, paperwork, paperwork! So I gave oldest stepdaughter the ashes, deed to the cremation garden plot I had bought, and plans for memorial stone, a work in progress, information about her father's military service and paperwork that I had already done on that. I had informed all three of progress as the process unfolded.

A couple of weeks ago I received an email, "Good News, Dad's ashes will be buried next Thursday but not in the plot you bought. We chose a different plot. Hope you can come."

I did go, and right, not the plot I had chosen which was for both of us. This plot is only for one, and the plaque is the basic military plaque, with only his name, branch of service and DOB, DOD. Married 44 years. Primary caregiver for last 2 years.

Re: Where to begin...

SummerOnTheWay1 — Thu, 07 May 2026 14:26:35 GMT

Dear @WalkingWoman , this really "upsets" me!!! 😤

That was so DISRESPECTFUL of them.

I am so sorry this happened dear friend.

Luv,

Nicole 🤗🤗🤗 (Grief Forum)

➡️[*** @WalkingWoman wrote:
Three adult stepchildren were pushing for burial of their father's ashes last winter. I was dealing with taxes, estate, paperwork, paperwork, paperwork! So I gave oldest stepdaughter the ashes, deed to the cremation garden plot I had bought, and plans for memorial stone, a work in progress, information about her father's military service and paperwork that I had already done on that. I had informed all three of progress as the process unfolded.

A couple of weeks ago I received an email, "Good News, Dad's ashes will be buried next Thursday but not in the plot you bought. We chose a different plot. Hope you can come."

I did go, and right, not the plot I had chosen which was for both of us. This plot is only for one, and the plaque is the basic military plaque, with only his name, branch of service and DOB, DOD. Married 44 years. Primary caregiver for last 2 years.

Re: Where to begin...

SereneSeagull — Thu, 07 May 2026 15:40:27 GMT

I’m sorry that happened. I’ve seen and heard this many times with others, unfortunately if no legal wishes drawn. And even when there may be, some family members just go and do whatever. That’s a heartbreaking ache. I’m so sorry. Very wrong that was done in my opinion.

Re: Where to begin...

AngleS694104 — Thu, 07 May 2026 17:32:19 GMT

That’s honestly really rough, especially after 44 years together. I’d keep copies of every document and plot agreement though - family stuff around estates can get messy way faster than people expect.