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Conversationalist
Posts: 11
Registered: ‎02-26-2009

Re: re: Living Alone

Message 1 of 17 (677 Views)

Try www.SmartAlternativesLLC.blogspot.com to give you new ideas to bring happiness and

positive thoughts!  God Bless!

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 4,221
Registered: ‎07-31-2010

Re: Living Alone

[ Edited ]
Message 2 of 17 (2,679 Views)

 

 Error...please disregard!

“The third-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the majority. The second-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the minority. The first-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking."
War With Honour, 1940 ~ A.A. Milne
Silver Conversationalist
Posts: 31
Registered: ‎08-19-2008

re: Living Alone

Message 3 of 17 (3,154 Views)
In Response to post:

 I am living alone and it gets real lonely most of the time. I do not usually go out because I am not a night person. Maybe that is why I have been alone since my husband passed away 7 years ago, I am still in the same routine with little change. Church is a most for me, community volunteering is also a must. But when I enter my home, it's back to being alone. Living alone sucks and sometimes even the TV does not help.

Hi Wango55,


I am so sorry for the loss of your dear husband.  It is such a huge adjustment when you are once again alone.  I suggest volunteer work...a nearby hospital, local American Red Cross or perhaps a church group.  I do Hospice Volunteer work and it is amazing.  I am now going for an interview for Make A Wish Foundation.  I have many hours to give to those in need and it pays me back in more than dollars.  Don't give up and a lot of volunteer work can be done during the daylight hours.  Best of luck to you.    dot

Silver Conversationalist
Posts: 31
Registered: ‎08-19-2008

re: Living Alone

Message 4 of 17 (3,154 Views)
In Response to post:

Dugand, when I read your post I couldn't help but think of my sister Deb who is  divorced and in her mid 50's now  having lived alone for many years. We don't live near one another (she's in California, I'm in Minnesota) but the 'big brother' in me often wishes she would find someone to spend the rest of her life with.  On the other hand, I also know there is a difference between being alone and being 'lonely' and I have no right to judge her lifestyle.  Her career fills her life and she has many friends and like me (us) loves to read and write.  Others here have shared many of their suggestions for getting you 'out there' so I won't repeat what they've already said.  For what it's worth Smiley Happy if your profile came up on a 'matching website' and I was looking I would definitely 'wink' at you Smiley Happy You seem to have alot going for you and I'm sure with faith and time you will meet the right person to share your life with.  Keep the faith and know we're all cheering you on!


Billken

Hi billken,


thanks, I can hear you cheering now and I appreciate it.  I have had many 'near misses' but have not given up hope and I'm not dead yet!  thanks for the support.

Silver Conversationalist
Posts: 31
Registered: ‎08-19-2008

re: Living Alone

Message 5 of 17 (3,154 Views)
In Response to post:

 Living alone.  The Good, The Bad and The Ugly.  Truth is there is nothing trite about living alone.  It can be painful.  It can physically hurt to be alone and to feel all alone.  It is a huge responsibility to oneself to live alone.  No one to pick up the pieces when you feel like flinging them about.  No one to be concerned whether you survived the gail force winds and made it home through the blackness of the storm.  Then again, no one to compromise with/about anything.  That can be delicious.  Like chocolate ice cream for dinner, with hot fudge sauce and whipped cream and wash it down with a brandy by the fire and a good book.  Of course you feel sick as all get out, but still, no one to tell you any different.  You can go about your merry (crazy) day and no one is watching too closely.  Then again, some of our behavior is to get just that.  Someone to watch a little too closely.  Are we ever satisfied?  I think not.  What is true and a bit trite, is first we must really love ourselves-completely.  Warts and all.  All of our bits that wiggle now and didn't then.  Love it all.  As we come into ourselves we form a deep attachment to our self, our value, our worth, our strength, our soul.  Then...we are never alone.  Now...wipe the hot fudge off your lips and get on with it.  

Kathleen103, Thank you for your response.  I really appreciate your response and your understanding on some of the feelings that come with living alone.  There are times that I can verbalize my feelings and there are times I cannot.  I have to be very careful I don't come across as a 'victim' of my circumstances.  I have much to be thankful for and I have come to learn that my very best friend in life is myself, because I am the one who I spend the most time with. I will try the hot fudge some night and smile to myself as i lick it from my lips.  Today is the first day of the rest of my life and I have my health and a roof over my head and the love of friends and family......now, I am off to the store for that ice cream and hot fudge....thanks! 

Info Seeker
Posts: 2
Registered: ‎08-01-2009

re: Living Alone

Message 6 of 17 (3,154 Views)
In Response to Living Alone:

As anyone out there knows, living alone has it's advantages along with distinct disadvantages.  I have lived alone for almost 20 years but recently, I am aware that my mind is getting focused on the lives of others, be it family, friends or even the coming and goings of neighbors.  Some of it frightens me as I am hearing from my daughter who has a concern for me and says that "I need more of a life".  I have taken care of my Mother until she entered the nursing home 4 years ago, now I have her cat Charlie who resides with me.  I find myself talking to  charlie, asking him questions, along with telling him where I am going and when I will return.  I have done volunteer work and took my chances on on-line dating which turned out to be a disaster.  I am thinking now that it would be nice for me to meet a man with whome I would discuss the events of the day, either his, mine or the political climate brodcasted on nightly news.  I am beginning to believe that this is not really healthy to be alone and have no one to share thoughts, ideas, plans, hopes and dreams with.  Alone, I plan my own dinner dates, movies, I control the remote, and don't have to get input on decorating my home.  I haul the garbage, haul the groceries, I am land lady, daughter, Mother and friend but no one who sits and sooths me when I'm tired, laughs at my silly jokes, comforts me when I am lonely and tired and affirms me when I have accomplished something that I am proud of.  I use to think that being alone was  good, that we were not all made to be a partner, but in the past year, I am finding that I have that longing and hope to meet that special someone who feels the same as I do and wants that someone to share life with.  There is a lot of life behind be but not much in front of me and would really like to meet that someone to share that with.  As I move more into my golden years, I am finding that I no longer want to do it all alone. 

 Living alone.  The Good, The Bad and The Ugly.  Truth is there is nothing trite about living alone.  It can be painful.  It can physically hurt to be alone and to feel all alone.  It is a huge responsibility to oneself to live alone.  No one to pick up the pieces when you feel like flinging them about.  No one to be concerned whether you survived the gail force winds and made it home through the blackness of the storm.  Then again, no one to compromise with/about anything.  That can be delicious.  Like chocolate ice cream for dinner, with hot fudge sauce and whipped cream and wash it down with a brandy by the fire and a good book.  Of course you feel sick as all get out, but still, no one to tell you any different.  You can go about your merry (crazy) day and no one is watching too closely.  Then again, some of our behavior is to get just that.  Someone to watch a little too closely.  Are we ever satisfied?  I think not.  What is true and a bit trite, is first we must really love ourselves-completely.  Warts and all.  All of our bits that wiggle now and didn't then.  Love it all.  As we come into ourselves we form a deep attachment to our self, our value, our worth, our strength, our soul.  Then...we are never alone.  Now...wipe the hot fudge off your lips and get on with it.  

Silver Conversationalist
Posts: 216
Registered: ‎12-24-2008

re: Living Alone

Message 7 of 17 (3,154 Views)
In Response to Living Alone:

As anyone out there knows, living alone has it's advantages along with distinct disadvantages.  I have lived alone for almost 20 years but recently, I am aware that my mind is getting focused on the lives of others, be it family, friends or even the coming and goings of neighbors.  Some of it frightens me as I am hearing from my daughter who has a concern for me and says that "I need more of a life".  I have taken care of my Mother until she entered the nursing home 4 years ago, now I have her cat Charlie who resides with me.  I find myself talking to  charlie, asking him questions, along with telling him where I am going and when I will return.  I have done volunteer work and took my chances on on-line dating which turned out to be a disaster.  I am thinking now that it would be nice for me to meet a man with whome I would discuss the events of the day, either his, mine or the political climate brodcasted on nightly news.  I am beginning to believe that this is not really healthy to be alone and have no one to share thoughts, ideas, plans, hopes and dreams with.  Alone, I plan my own dinner dates, movies, I control the remote, and don't have to get input on decorating my home.  I haul the garbage, haul the groceries, I am land lady, daughter, Mother and friend but no one who sits and sooths me when I'm tired, laughs at my silly jokes, comforts me when I am lonely and tired and affirms me when I have accomplished something that I am proud of.  I use to think that being alone was  good, that we were not all made to be a partner, but in the past year, I am finding that I have that longing and hope to meet that special someone who feels the same as I do and wants that someone to share life with.  There is a lot of life behind be but not much in front of me and would really like to meet that someone to share that with.  As I move more into my golden years, I am finding that I no longer want to do it all alone. 

Dugand, when I read your post I couldn't help but think of my sister Deb who is  divorced and in her mid 50's now  having lived alone for many years. We don't live near one another (she's in California, I'm in Minnesota) but the 'big brother' in me often wishes she would find someone to spend the rest of her life with.  On the other hand, I also know there is a difference between being alone and being 'lonely' and I have no right to judge her lifestyle.  Her career fills her life and she has many friends and like me (us) loves to read and write.  Others here have shared many of their suggestions for getting you 'out there' so I won't repeat what they've already said.  For what it's worth Smiley Happy if your profile came up on a 'matching website' and I was looking I would definitely 'wink' at you Smiley Happy You seem to have alot going for you and I'm sure with faith and time you will meet the right person to share your life with.  Keep the faith and know we're all cheering you on!


Billken

Info Seeker
Posts: 4
Registered: ‎11-30-2009

re: Living Alone

Message 8 of 17 (3,448 Views)
In Response to Living Alone:

As anyone out there knows, living alone has it's advantages along with distinct disadvantages.  I have lived alone for almost 20 years but recently, I am aware that my mind is getting focused on the lives of others, be it family, friends or even the coming and goings of neighbors.  Some of it frightens me as I am hearing from my daughter who has a concern for me and says that "I need more of a life".  I have taken care of my Mother until she entered the nursing home 4 years ago, now I have her cat Charlie who resides with me.  I find myself talking to  charlie, asking him questions, along with telling him where I am going and when I will return.  I have done volunteer work and took my chances on on-line dating which turned out to be a disaster.  I am thinking now that it would be nice for me to meet a man with whome I would discuss the events of the day, either his, mine or the political climate brodcasted on nightly news.  I am beginning to believe that this is not really healthy to be alone and have no one to share thoughts, ideas, plans, hopes and dreams with.  Alone, I plan my own dinner dates, movies, I control the remote, and don't have to get input on decorating my home.  I haul the garbage, haul the groceries, I am land lady, daughter, Mother and friend but no one who sits and sooths me when I'm tired, laughs at my silly jokes, comforts me when I am lonely and tired and affirms me when I have accomplished something that I am proud of.  I use to think that being alone was  good, that we were not all made to be a partner, but in the past year, I am finding that I have that longing and hope to meet that special someone who feels the same as I do and wants that someone to share life with.  There is a lot of life behind be but not much in front of me and would really like to meet that someone to share that with.  As I move more into my golden years, I am finding that I no longer want to do it all alone. 

 I am living alone and it gets real lonely most of the time. I do not usually go out because I am not a night person. Maybe that is why I have been alone since my husband passed away 7 years ago, I am still in the same routine with little change. Church is a most for me, community volunteering is also a must. But when I enter my home, it's back to being alone. Living alone sucks and sometimes even the TV does not help.

Silver Conversationalist
Posts: 445
Registered: ‎03-04-2008

re: Living Alone

Message 9 of 17 (3,448 Views)
In Response to Living Alone:

As anyone out there knows, living alone has it's advantages along with distinct disadvantages.  I have lived alone for almost 20 years but recently, I am aware that my mind is getting focused on the lives of others, be it family, friends or even the coming and goings of neighbors.  Some of it frightens me as I am hearing from my daughter who has a concern for me and says that "I need more of a life".  I have taken care of my Mother until she entered the nursing home 4 years ago, now I have her cat Charlie who resides with me.  I find myself talking to  charlie, asking him questions, along with telling him where I am going and when I will return.  I have done volunteer work and took my chances on on-line dating which turned out to be a disaster.  I am thinking now that it would be nice for me to meet a man with whome I would discuss the events of the day, either his, mine or the political climate brodcasted on nightly news.  I am beginning to believe that this is not really healthy to be alone and have no one to share thoughts, ideas, plans, hopes and dreams with.  Alone, I plan my own dinner dates, movies, I control the remote, and don't have to get input on decorating my home.  I haul the garbage, haul the groceries, I am land lady, daughter, Mother and friend but no one who sits and sooths me when I'm tired, laughs at my silly jokes, comforts me when I am lonely and tired and affirms me when I have accomplished something that I am proud of.  I use to think that being alone was  good, that we were not all made to be a partner, but in the past year, I am finding that I have that longing and hope to meet that special someone who feels the same as I do and wants that someone to share life with.  There is a lot of life behind be but not much in front of me and would really like to meet that someone to share that with.  As I move more into my golden years, I am finding that I no longer want to do it all alone. 

I understand how you feel. Living alone, even for short periods of time, have never been fun for me. I get bored and try as I can, I find things to do that don't really fint my lifestyle. Try as I can, I always end up doing things I shouldn't. One time I went for a walk. In my wandering I heard some great jazz coming from an open door. I walked in to a darkened club to listen and ended up drinking for the first time in twenty years. Didn't get drunk, but I really felt guilty

Info Seeker
Posts: 2
Registered: ‎08-01-2009

re: Living Alone

Message 10 of 17 (3,448 Views)
In Response to Living Alone:

As anyone out there knows, living alone has it's advantages along with distinct disadvantages.  I have lived alone for almost 20 years but recently, I am aware that my mind is getting focused on the lives of others, be it family, friends or even the coming and goings of neighbors.  Some of it frightens me as I am hearing from my daughter who has a concern for me and says that "I need more of a life".  I have taken care of my Mother until she entered the nursing home 4 years ago, now I have her cat Charlie who resides with me.  I find myself talking to  charlie, asking him questions, along with telling him where I am going and when I will return.  I have done volunteer work and took my chances on on-line dating which turned out to be a disaster.  I am thinking now that it would be nice for me to meet a man with whome I would discuss the events of the day, either his, mine or the political climate brodcasted on nightly news.  I am beginning to believe that this is not really healthy to be alone and have no one to share thoughts, ideas, plans, hopes and dreams with.  Alone, I plan my own dinner dates, movies, I control the remote, and don't have to get input on decorating my home.  I haul the garbage, haul the groceries, I am land lady, daughter, Mother and friend but no one who sits and sooths me when I'm tired, laughs at my silly jokes, comforts me when I am lonely and tired and affirms me when I have accomplished something that I am proud of.  I use to think that being alone was  good, that we were not all made to be a partner, but in the past year, I am finding that I have that longing and hope to meet that special someone who feels the same as I do and wants that someone to share life with.  There is a lot of life behind be but not much in front of me and would really like to meet that someone to share that with.  As I move more into my golden years, I am finding that I no longer want to do it all alone. 

HMM