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Treasured Social Butterfly

Re: Loneliness or alone-ness

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Message 51 of 59

@nelsjm - Although you may click "reply" to a specific post, there's nothing automatically put into your response that identified the post or person to whom you're writing! Whenever there are multiple people posting to a thread, the best things to do if you are responding to a specific post/person, is to start with @theirname. As soon as you type the @, you'll get a drop-down list with the others participating in the discussion, and you can click on the one you want .. and don't have to worry about misspelling their screen name.

 

I've been involved with numerous organizations over the years, and they often don't have the best system of communications, nor are they very organized .. especially the small ones. If they have a website, responding to the "contact us" feature may not be assigned to a single person, and whoever reads it, doesn't necessarily pass the names of volunteers on to the right person. It may be worth a phone call .. or it can tell you whether you want to belong to a disorganized group or not, even if they do support a good cause. And yes, sometimes it can be very cliquish!


Registered on Online Community since 2007!
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Conversationalist

Re: Loneliness or alone-ness

1,297 Views
Message 52 of 59

I agree and thanks for your reply.  I am currently exploring some volunteer opportunities too.  It is amazing to me that even when I join groups and offer up my time, that often the leadership of the group does not take me up on the offer.  Even volunteer groups are a bit clique-ey and hard to break into the inner circle.  I thought that ended in high school!  Apparently not.

A new group is forming in my community to support the trail system and I think I am getting in on the ground floor, so maybe I will have better opportunity to meet like minded individuals and make a difference about something I care about strongly.

 

Jypsy Janet
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Conversationalist

Re: Loneliness or alone-ness

1,295 Views
Message 53 of 59

Thanks for your reply.  Your situation sounds very similar to mine and reassures me that I am not such an odd ball after all!

 

I don't feel unhappy with my current situation, but do wonder if I can sustain it in the long run.  Thanks again!

Jypsy Janet
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Treasured Social Butterfly

Re: Loneliness or alone-ness

1,261 Views
Message 54 of 59

I live close to my family and I do a lot of things with them, but like you most of my friend socializing is through work. After I retire I will look for more person involvement in volunteering.  If I relocate which I may I will face the same issues as you.  

Life's a Journey, not a Destination" Aerosmith
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Treasured Social Butterfly

Re: Loneliness or alone-ness

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Message 55 of 59

Hi Janet, I can relate to your situation! I've lived on my own since the early 1980s .. about 35 years, and am happy with that arrangement. I've lived in a few suburbs in NJ, within commuting distance to NYC, where I worked. Because most of the employees were scattered, none of my work friends lived close enough to me, to socialize regularly. Before I moved to the shore, I thought my current location had more singles > 55, but 95% of the people I know are married, and even the the widows/divorcees are involved with children & grandchildren.

 

I'm an introvert, and am happier with a few very good friends, than a large posse of them (or "squad"). I wouldn't want to live in an isolated area though, because I do enjoy the theater, and attend a show at some regional venue about once a month. I've been involved in various organizations, but outside of their activities, there are very few who've become personal good buddies.

 

I like living in a single family home, rather than a development with restrictions. I would definitely consider downsizing, if I could find a place in a thriving downtown area, with everything in walking distance .. if such a place exists in NJ.


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Conversationalist

Re: Loneliness or alone-ness

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Message 56 of 59

I have not totally discounted the notion of moving.  I have to find the energy to do so though.  Selling your home, keeping it "perfect" for the showings...packing up and moving...that takes lots of energy.  I am working up to that I think and maybe needing to move closer to my sister and her family or looking at an over 55 community as another possibility. 

Thank you for the story...it helps to know that others have worked through this successfully.

Jypsy Janet
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Trusted Social Butterfly

Re: Loneliness or alone-ness

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Message 57 of 59

I can only give one anecdotal example from one of my relatives (i'm married so don't have personal experience). This is pretty much the same response doglover gave.

    She ended up moving into a condo, back in a populated area. There is a local, large, health club with all kinds of classes that many seniors participate in. She has created a new circle of friends by going to the various classes. There is a group that go out together. Also, got into an art class and met some more seniors. Does volunteering at an animal shelter and met some more people.

   You may have to examine where you live and make a change. I know, easy to say and I don't know anything about your background, or how difficult it might be to live in a less rural area. As I said, one example from someone I know.   

   


Just think. The world was built by the lowest bidder.
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Valued Social Butterfly

Re: Loneliness or alone-ness

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Message 58 of 59

 Hi Janet,I'm the only member of my family who chose to stay&live here in my hometown,Buffalo,NY because of my job,worked in local hospital as pharm tech part time for 27yrs.

Over the years,I've made friends,some of very close to me ,they are my 'Bflo family',I see them all the time,some are close 'church friends". I would be lost without them in my life.

When I was working,on my 2 days off,I would volunteer in the mornings,still continue doing it since I've been retired.I like to stay busy.

Aren't there any local clubs you could join? I think this would help you interact with others who share the same interests as you do,won't feel so isolated? Sue

 

Walkers Take It All In Strides
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Conversationalist

Loneliness or alone-ness

871 Views
Message 59 of 59

Would love to hear others thoughts on this topic...

 

I work full time as a nurse so I have a lot of social interaction there, but am not socially active with co-workers as very few are: 1. single and 2. over 50.  I live out in the country, alone. I do not have children.    And do many activities alone such as hiking, riding my motorcycle, camping. 

 

I do not feel lonely,  but I worry that I am isolating myself and may regret not being more social as I age.  Particularly after I retire ( still 9 years away).I do have a few friends, but they don't live particularly close by, and I do make sure to get out with them 2 or 3 times a month.  I am not religious and joining a church isn't an option for me. 

 

What are you other single folks doing?  Give me some advice!  Thanks.

 

Jypsy Janet

 

Jypsy Janet
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