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Re: Loneliness or alone-ness

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Message 21 of 59

When my husband died, along with grief, I found new freedom: I could cook when I wanted to and nap when I wanted to, paint the walls any color I wanted to...but after a few years, I got lonely. I missed having someone to tell my good news to, missed someone who knew how to fix the computer and change ceiling light bulbs. I did go to church, I was in a writers group, enjoyed Netflix Facebook...but had no live person to share the little day-to-day happenings with. Also, when my husband died, my income was cut in half, and with the increasing living costs, finances were getting tight. My daughter lived many states away and kept urging me to come live with her and her husband. Not wanting to be the classic "mother-in-law", I kept my condo while trying out a new living arrangement, staying with them 8 months. We got along fine. In fact, I was able to go to many more interesting activities with them and I took care of their cats when they went on occasional overnight trips. I sold my house and invested half the money in an annuity, guaranteeing I would not outlive my bank account. The three of us figured out what added expense I caused by living with them, the food and utilities, and I write a check for that amount each month. I pay for my own meals when we eat out. Having given up driving, I've learned to use a local cab company. I have a large bedroom and bathroom which I decorated with my own stuff and have settled in nicely. Lonely no longer.

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Treasured Social Butterfly

Re: Loneliness or alone-ness

1,305 Views
Message 22 of 59

rfayhallock wrote:

Me too. I am retired. We two r retired grandparents.  Since I had to give up my drivers license loneliness etc hit me like a big brick in the face. For a long time I depended on reading Ebooks. I have no hearing in my right ear and I can barely hear, even with a hearing aid, in the left ear.. I am a reitired **bleep** teacher.

My wife does better. She is a retired speech pathologist. I am 83. 

86327

Bob


Bob

 

More and more people use car services  like uber.  Maybe you could plan to get out once a week with a friend who drives or think of other options!

 

 

Life's a Journey, not a Destination" Aerosmith
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Treasured Social Butterfly

Re: Loneliness or alone-ness

1,221 Views
Message 23 of 59

Calhounwoman wrote:

@nyadrn AARP's "Create the GOOD" page offers a listing of volunteer opportunities in or near your area (depending on where you live) when you key in your zip code.

 

It's amazing the types of activities, skills, talent, and experience, these requests for volunteers are asking/searching for.


Yes no doubt a good resource.  When I retire I will think about these various opportunities.

 

 

Life's a Journey, not a Destination" Aerosmith
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Gold Conversationalist

Re: Loneliness or alone-ness

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Message 24 of 59

@nyadrn AARP's "Create the GOOD" page offers a listing of volunteer opportunities in or near your area (depending on where you live) when you key in your zip code.

 

It's amazing the types of activities, skills, talent, and experience, these requests for volunteers are asking/searching for.

Fey Lady
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Conversationalist

Re: Loneliness or alone-ness

1,073 Views
Message 25 of 59

Me too. I am retired. We two r retired grandparents.  Since I had to give up my drivers license loneliness etc hit me like a big brick in the face. For a long time I depended on reading Ebooks. I have no hearing in my right ear and I can barely hear, even with a hearing aid, in the left ear.. I am a reitired **bleep** teacher.

My wife does better. She is a retired speech pathologist. I am 83. 

86327

Bob

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Treasured Social Butterfly

Re: Loneliness or alone-ness

1,335 Views
Message 26 of 59

@SassiLady - It was just an observation I made, about a couple of meetings I attended. I have been a caregiver too many times, to want to belong to any organization, where all the other members are 20+ years older than I am, only a few used e-mail, and most were married.

 

Since I bought my first house 32 years ago, I was in "married with children" suburbs. I found that anyone who had children still at home had their activities revolve around the children's interests & needs, and had no adult interests or free time for themselves. Fine for them, but that doesn't make for good "activity buddies" with a retiree.


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Respected Social Butterfly

Re: Loneliness or alone-ness

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Message 27 of 59

@d829124b

@ASTRAEA

Just because there is a large age gap doesn't mean you won't have any interests in common with this age group. I have always gotten along with people 10-20 years older and younger than I am. I also have a DIL that is 51 and has friends from 40's-80's.

Putting age aside you might just try out a couple of groups and see what happens. 

Does the town have a library, do you like to read, and is there reading group?  I have a friend that is in her mid 80's that belongs to such a group at the library.

These are ways to get to know people and make friends.

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Re: Loneliness or alone-ness

1,257 Views
Message 28 of 59

m907706g wrote:

These posts speak volumes to me.  I have one cousin in town who I am close to. My therapist thinks I isolate but what other choice do I have. It takes money to do stuff.  I swim 3 times a week,  I go to thrift shops often and see people.  I do live alone, with the exception of my cat.  I read a great deal and frequent this site quite a bit.  I attend a writer's group.  I often go to the library and am taking a safe driver's class later this month.  I try to stay alert for various activities  I'm completely non-secular so have no interest whatsoever in that vein. Thinkng about volunteering somehow if an opportunity arises.


It seems to me that you are quite active. I am sorry that you don't have family or s close friend near.  

 

 

Life's a Journey, not a Destination" Aerosmith
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Social Butterfly

Re: Loneliness or alone-ness

1,258 Views
Message 29 of 59

These posts speak volumes to me.  I have one cousin in town who I am close to. My therapist thinks I isolate but what other choice do I have. It takes money to do stuff.  I swim 3 times a week,  I go to thrift shops often and see people.  I do live alone, with the exception of my cat.  I read a great deal and frequent this site quite a bit.  I attend a writer's group.  I often go to the library and am taking a safe driver's class later this month.  I try to stay alert for various activities  I'm completely non-secular so have no interest whatsoever in that vein. Thinkng about volunteering somehow if an opportunity arises.

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Treasured Social Butterfly

Re: Loneliness or alone-ness

1,008 Views
Message 30 of 59

d829124b wrote:

I love in a rural community and am disabled. The community is very family based so as a 50 year old single person there is nothing. I belong to a Church but outside of Church everyone is once again family focused. I do not have the gas money to go into the big city to join groups or activities. 


@d829124b - Is there a nearby larger town that might be better for you, being disabled & alone? Would you consider moving?

 

I find that the "senior" activities in my town, because they're all during the daytime, are attended by older retirees .. AARP, Women's Club, etc. So for someone in their 50s, or even their 60s, you feel a little out-of-place, in a group where the minimum age of other participants is 70-75!


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