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Registered: ‎06-12-2010

Re: What Word Would Others Use To Describe You?

Message 1 of 16 (676 Views)

I think they would say kind, helpful, and a really nice guy. I wasnt always the best husband or father but I think I was a pretty good brother and son.  I am an OK PopPop to my 4 grandkids and definately a great PopPop to my special needs granddaughter.  Love them all.

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Re: What Word Would Others Use To Describe You?

Message 2 of 16 (693 Views)

To nyadrn, who states:

 I am not sure what my friends coworkers and or family would say.  I think it might be ....  

 Nice

 

First, I will admit that at one period of my life I spent a week sitting in a circle with others, (about 15 people).

 

We were supposed to talk about the "whys and wherefores, etc" of our being there.

 

I had a difficult time doing that - I still do, hmmmm. . . nevermind that.

 

On the last day, we discussed what we thought about the other people in the circle.

 

Almost to a man, each of the people admitted that when we all started the week, that  I was "too quiet, aloof, even unfriendly" to them.

 

Then, they all admitted that as the week progressed - outside the circle, they all found me to be "intelligent, friendly, helpful", and other descriptive adjectives.

 

Here it is though; they all decided and admitted that after getting to know me just a little, that I was a "nice guy".

 

That has always been enough for me.

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Re: What Word Would Others Use To Describe You?

Message 3 of 16 (901 Views)

nyadrn wrote:

Most of us do not live in a vacume and how others view us does have an impact on us.. of course not all of us but many of us.  

 

@nyadrn I just wanted to let you know I'm not ignoring you but have nothing further to say on this subject. Smiley Happy

 

 

 

 

The key to success is to keep growing in all areas of life - mental, emotional, spiritual, as well as physical. - Julius Erving
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Re: What Word Would Others Use To Describe You?

Message 4 of 16 (909 Views)

Most of us do not live in a vacume and how others view us does have an impact on us.. of course not all of us but many of us.  

 

For instance, at our job.  If other workers and or the boss find us a little to difficult to work with because they feel we are too opinionated or unfriendly or mean or whatever negative trait you can think of, this can have a direct affect on our career.  That is exactly why from time to time we have evaluations, so that these issues can be reviewed and discussed.  If the general consensus is that we are too opinionated or hard to work with, while we think we are doing a great job of getting along, we are not projecting the image that we think we are projecting.   We have some work to do or we can forget about having anyone to go to lunch with or moving up.   

 

If there is a group of ladies in your social circle who often lunch together but have not included you dispite your efforts, you may want to think about why.  In this case you may not care what they think or you may if you find that they feel you are too pushy or unfriendly or whatever this case may be.  This topic was started because while some of us may not be concerned with what others think, sometimes our perception is wrong.  Sometimes we are conveying feelings or attitudes we do not realize we are.  It is never wrong to consider other's opinions.  You may of course discard them or it may open a window for discussion.   

Life's a Journey, not a Destination" Aerosmith
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Re: What Word Would Others Use To Describe You?

Message 5 of 16 (948 Views)

The short answer: DH and I have a saying about other people's opinions of us: "They can say it, but they can't make it so." Smiley Happy

The key to success is to keep growing in all areas of life - mental, emotional, spiritual, as well as physical. - Julius Erving
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Re: What Word Would Others Use To Describe You?

Message 6 of 16 (983 Views)

@nyadrn

 

I appreciate this different take. Vive la différence!

 

Allow me to expound on my original post.

 

According to psychologists, people’s perceptions and opinions about you are actually not about you; instead their opinions about you are about themselves. You cannot change that. I say don’t spend time worrying about things you cannot change.

 

An illustration, using a frequent misperception about me:

 

When I decided to have a partial hysterectomy I was 23. I had decided before I graduated high school that I didn’t want to parent. Before we married, my husband and I talked about this and both thought we did not wish to parent. We waited 3 years to see if some magical change might occur. It did not.

 

I went through 13 gynecologists before I found one, a female, who would perform the surgery. All the other doctors, men, told me I was too young to know this and that I should wait longer.

 

DH and I have not had a moment’s regret about our decision. Individually we have, however, heard from perhaps thousands of people who took exception to this personal choice. Siblings. Parents. Fellow church members, strangers.

 

I’ve been told countless times what a good mother I’d be and that I should adopt. I’ve been called selfish for not wanting to bring a child into this world. I’ve been told that my fear (come again?) would dissipate the moment I held a little one in my arms.

 

But here’s the truth: DH and I were blessed to know this vital thing about ourselves and were also blessed to not allow the hundreds of people with strong opinions, earnestly held and forcefully shared, confuse us with lies about ourselves. Their opinions of us have never mattered, nor have they ever been our business. And frankly, they’ve all been wrong. What they saw as selfishness we knew was actually us being responsible citizens.

 

The rub: the person who knows you best is you. Everyone else is guessing.

 

 

 

The key to success is to keep growing in all areas of life - mental, emotional, spiritual, as well as physical. - Julius Erving
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Re: What Word Would Others Use To Describe You?

Message 7 of 16 (1,003 Views)

Epster wrote:

nyadrn wrote:

We have  topic where people say what word describes themselves.  What would others say about you?   Would the two be the same?


@nyadrn Absolutely not! I have been called everything from imposing to aloof. Not, you understand, by people who actually know me, but that wasn't the question. Smiley Happy People who know me tend to tell me I'm goofy, driven or weird.

 

Here's my take* on it: What others think of us is actually none of our business, and there is nothing we are able to do about it anyway.

 


I wouldn't use "none of our business".  Personally I may not care or I may, depending on what the opinion is.  If I come across to most people as mean and that is totally different than how I see myself (for example)..  I may want to think about why and how I would be giving that impression.  Knowing something is different than letting someone else's opinion influence a person in ways that they do not want to be influenced. 

 

 

Life's a Journey, not a Destination" Aerosmith
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Re: What Word Would Others Use To Describe You?

[ Edited ]
Message 8 of 16 (1,076 Views)

nyadrn wrote:

We have  topic where people say what word describes themselves.  What would others say about you?   Would the two be the same?


@nyadrn Absolutely not! I have been called everything from imposing to aloof. Not, you understand, by people who actually know me, but that wasn't the question. Smiley Happy People who know me tend to tell me I'm goofy, driven or weird.

 

Here's my take* on it: What others think of us is actually none of our business, and there is nothing we are able to do about it anyway. Our private opinion of ourselves, though, that informs everything from how we hear what others say to what actions we may choose to take in response.

 

"Don't let others put thoughts into your mind that takes away your self-confidence." --Katori Hall

 * As a former 'scandal child' (con artist fathers will do that); total outsider (being abandoned on an Indian reservation and not being of native blood will do that); having decided at age 23 not to parent (amazingly still a personal choice people can have difficulty with); and currently actively pioneering the sport of recumbent racing at the Senior Games level, I've had a truckload of experience processing people's incorrect perceptions of me.

 

Then again, maybe this is something we all deal with, eh? 

 

 

 

The key to success is to keep growing in all areas of life - mental, emotional, spiritual, as well as physical. - Julius Erving
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Re: What Word Would Others Use To Describe You?

Message 9 of 16 (1,215 Views)

doglover52 wrote:

Diane,yes this is an interesting topic.

I have heard my friends say to me over the years I'm 'thoughtful,dependable'  Sue


From everything I know of you, Sue, both here at AARP & via our email exchanges, I would agree with those words "thoughtful" & "dependable".  Smiley Very HappyHeart

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Re: What Word Would Others Use To Describe You?

Message 10 of 16 (1,228 Views)

@nyadrn - I agree with you, but some people would much rather be described as "fun" or "kind". I am kind & generous .. but most of that is private, when I support a lot of non-profits.


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