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Treasured Social Butterfly
Posts: 18,745
Registered: ‎12-25-2011

Re: Grand parenting Help

Message 1 of 2 (41 Views)

@LouCaretta - I'm so sorry that your granddaughter has these medical challenges, which are so tough on families!

 

I'm not a parent or a grandparent, but I have been a family caregiver multiple times, and have seen the full spectrum of relatives "rising to the occasion" .. or not! I think all the adults need to get together for a family meeting, and perhaps have them quarterly or every 6 months. Ahead of time, everyone should be asked to identify all the tasks necessary, for raising this little girl, so the work can be broken up fairly, between all of you.

 

My personal feelings are that:

 

- Some parents just aren't mature, and resent/resist the additional effort necessary with a special needs child.

- When grandparents start to help, it often allows the child's parents to back off a little, leaving the grandparents on the hook even more .. and for things the parents should & are able to do.

 

Talk it out so that all the work can be identified, and everyone walks away with the same expectations of who's doing what! Good luck!


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Info Seeker
Posts: 4
Registered: ‎06-12-2010

Grand parenting Help

Message 2 of 2 (63 Views)

I am a grandfaher to a special needs child.  CP, developmental delays, does not speak, and is now experiencing seizures.  Her mother is a single parent (my son didnt marry her) and lives with her mother (age 66).  Her mother get child ready for school in am and meets her off the bus 3 days a wk. I meet her two days.  My concern is her mother seems to think its OK for her to leave for long weekends a couple of times a year ( 3 days, sometime 4 days) and that this is normal leaving our granddaughter home with her mother and with help from my wife and I (both 66/67 yrs old with some orthopedic issues). My son is useless and doesnt help much at all. She seems to think this is normal.  I disagree.  I dont think the average single parent gets to take mini vacation a couple of times a year without ther kids, espcially when the child is a special needs child. Am I being to hard on her or not. Let me hear your opinions on this.   Thanks a bunch.