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Community Home & Relationships
04-26-2016 01:54 PM
02-10-2016 07:02 PM
02-05-2016 08:45 AM
I am 38 years old and I am with a man who is 65. We have been together for over ten years and have a beautiful daughter. Our relationship has definately had its ups and downs over the years but I wouldn't trade him for the world. I have also thought about his decline in health as he gets older and I am fully prepared to potentially care for him if he needs me to, I love him, that's what you do for the ones you love! It would be no different if something happened to me. Age should NOT be a factor your connection with eachother should.
You say now that you would be his caregiver because you love him; but unfortunately you have no idea of the stress that comes with caregiving and while doing it for a short period may not wear on you, if you've been doing it for 5 or more years you will not be happy or love him. In fact, you could end up hating him.
02-05-2016 08:33 AM
What a great topic! My husband is 22-1/2 years younger than I am. I am 55 now. We have been together for 8 years! We have had our challenges, but basically he motivates me to keep moving, to take really great care of myself and we have fun. I believe that we are what we THINK we are and FEEL we are. I feel like I'm not older than he is. Sometimes I am more open minded and call him "old fart".
Just wait until you find yourself no longer interested in a physical relationship and it does happen to many women.
02-05-2016 08:25 AM
That's me. I am 55 and connecting with someone who is 33. We are so much alike that it's almost frightening! Music, food, fun, activities like karate, and, yes, sex too, are also in line with each other. It's amazing. We don't let people know about our relationship right now because most people would not understand and we have no interest in people poking in our business to that extent. Maybe someday we'll make it open but right now we're keeping it the way it is so we can enjoy each other without the judgments.
Here you are saying that age does matter by your comment "we do not let people know about our relationship right now because most people would not understand". If you honestly believed age didn't matter, you wouldn't be hiding your relationship.
02-05-2016 08:22 AM
I am 20 and my current partner is 45. He makes me happier than anyone I have met. His older age makes me feel secure because I know he has so much more knowledge and life experience and he teaches me so much about life everyday. I absolutely love conversations with him. I sometimes wonder if I make him feel as if he can't relate to me intellectually for the same reason but it seems as if I truly make him happy.
And when you're 40 and he is 65 and you have to go out and shovel snow for fear of his having a heart attack or have to continue to work because he wants to retire or you're wanting to out with friends but he just wants to take a nap when he comes home . . . good luck.
02-05-2016 08:17 AM
Any time someone is in a relationship with a person much older than they are, I wonder if they've ever had the experience of being a family caregiver, and had some idea what they may be in for.
While anyone can fall ill even at a young age, requiring the care of a spouse, if you're with someone significantly older, it just increases the odds of becoming a caregiver. So while the younger person is full of energy & wanting to have an active life, they may be tied to the house as a caregiver instead.
I was a caregiver for 4 relatives in my immediate family; I wouldn't sign up for that again, by getting involved with someone more than 10 years older than me!
I am 100% with you on this one!!!!!
02-05-2016 08:15 AM
I don't feel that age should matter at all. If any 2 people are compatible then they should go for it. Life is just way too short to live with regrets, be unhappy or lonely, unless being alone is what is right for you. I feel that if you find someone who will take the good with the bad, understands and accepts your good traits, your faults, your quircks, your OCD and your moods, then go for it. I am 50 and the man I have been with for the last 7 years is and he is 66. We understand and accept each other, we work on projects super well together, we go to blues festivals and have a fantastic time. As long as it works for the 2 of you, it shouldn't matter what others think about it.
Who says you have to be unhappy or lonely being single. I've been single most of my life and can tell you that the times I was unhappiest or lonely was when i was dating someone.
02-05-2016 08:01 AM
As with anything, there is no "pat" answer! It totally depends on the persons..not the number (age)! My late husband was almost 15 yrs older & we had a wonderful 42 yrs together..I now would like to find someone younger b/c, so far, every man close to my age acts soooooo old. Late husband never acted, thought, or dressed that way. Everyone is different!!!
Here's an example of marrying someone significantly older "every man close to my age acts soooooo old".