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Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,627
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 71 of 2,621 (551 Views)

The Governmental approach is to give you something sh--ty for free, then make you pay to get the sh--ty taste out of your mouth.

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,627
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 72 of 2,621 (581 Views)

After starting a new diet, I altered my drive to work to avoid passing by my favorite bakery. I accidentally drove by the bakery this morning, and as I approached, there in the window were a host of goodies. I felt this was no accident, so I prayed.... "Lord, it's up to you. If you want me to have any of those delicious goodies, create a parking place for me directly in front of the bakery."

And sure enough, on the eighth time around the block, there it was !

 

     God is good....

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,627
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 73 of 2,621 (564 Views)

"Good" and "Morning"....

 

Two words that go together like

"cordury" and "cheese".

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,627
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 74 of 2,621 (565 Views)

1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree..

 

2.  You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.

 

3.  Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

 

4.  You'd rather burn your yard than mow it.

 

5.  You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the highdive.

 

6.  The Salvation Army declines your furniture.

 

 

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,627
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 75 of 2,621 (551 Views)

One of the hardest lessons in life to learn,

is which bridge to cross, and which one to burn.

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,627
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 76 of 2,621 (565 Views)

"I'm really enjoying the new Martin Luther Jr. stamp...

Just think about all those white bigots,

Licking the backside of a black man."

 

Dick Gregory      RIP

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,627
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 77 of 2,621 (576 Views)

If you stir coconut oil into your kale...

It makes it easier to scrape

Into the garbage..

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,627
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 78 of 2,621 (578 Views)

Some people should use a glue stick instead of Chap Stick !

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,627
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 79 of 2,621 (602 Views)

THE EARLY BIRD GETS THE WORM......

 

SO SLEEP LATE AND GET A DOUGHNUT !

Valued Social Butterfly
Posts: 3,627
Registered: ‎01-24-2008

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Message 80 of 2,621 (649 Views)

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, muscians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?